I thought I was better with change but I'm back to the tug of war. I seem so brave, taking steps forward, new challenges, and learning new things. But I can't ever fully manage it, looking back and wondering and faking that I don't care so I can take those steps forward again. So here I am blogging, hoping this will lead to some answer as there is ( Read more... )

Every time something went bad in my life, I got told by everyone around me "it wasn't meant to be. God has a plan and you have to trust in that." It eventually evolved into "it wasn't meant to be" but has stayed to this day. It eventually became my positive method to get over failure and move forward. I'd analyze the situation, learn what not to do ( Read more... )

Ever have that day where you have a lot to do but all you can do is sit there and think about it? Where the entire world is harking at you to fix your problems, be productive, yet all you feel is apathy and want to sit there, do anything but care. Because anything you do will only create more problems and issues, wondering when the world will give ( Read more... )

Although this feeling is hardly new, it is overwhelming. Nothing, not even cartoons or food taste good. I'm just depressed, objectively looking at things that are out of control. Everything I learned from psychology is being thought but self-pity and in-action will not easily budge. So I'm just gonna let it be and allow a new day break me out of it ( Read more... )

Today was an unexpectedly full day. I thought I left late but my timing worked out nicely. My meeting with Bob went good. I mean, I didn't know what to expect but he steered things in a way that was helpful. While oil and gas isn't doing well here, so no direct job leads, he helped me as I explained my unemployment. He agreed with others that me ( Read more... )

Today, I went to the university of Calgary. Now, to most tourists, that idea would be questioned. However, as I am and have been hovering between future decisions, it makes sense. I mean, even before I got laid off, my future was written on the walls. Yes, there was job searching but another option of school. I make a great researcher and more ( Read more... )

Today, I went to the zoo. It really was an amazing place. It was bigger than the Denver zoo and I really liked how they built it around the trees, river, and landscape. It is composed of 5 parks. There was a prehistoric park with statues of dinosaurs built around an artificial mountain range and river. There was few people so it was nice to walk ( Read more... )

I don't know if this can really be called day 1 considering I just arrived late afternoon but I'm going with it. I mean, overall, it was a good flight. I had much time beforehand I just walked around for an hour. We boarded, again easy and up, settled in but the descent, as always, was horrible. Just too much altitude change in a short time but the ( Read more... )

Sometimes I truly think I'm crazy. Not only do I have two too many projects going on as it is, I'll have another started in another 1-2 months. Thus, even though I'm exhausted and tired of making store runs, I am trying to "end" one of them. Of course, it's never that easy. I always think "just one more step/email...." And it never is. This time I ( Read more... )

I've only been back to work for over a week and yet I'm still wondering when that next vacation is. I Don't need to tell anyone reading this that's bad. That's how I feel though ( Read more... )