No Win Situation
I've only been back to work for over a week and yet I'm still wondering when that next vacation is. I Don't need to tell anyone reading this that's bad. That's how I feel though.
This week became a challenge with me getting food poisoning on Monday but I'm very much a soldier. It was pretty moderate and I just went home and rested but there's still that fatigue and muscle pain you don't enjoy. Just a temporary thing but when you work manual labor and are on your feet all day, it's a significant one. So what could really make things worse?
I got my yearly job performance review. 2017 created some massive responsibility additions so while I was given 7 duties, it somehow increased to 12. Yeah. Sure, you can sit here and be like "but isn't that good? It means your progressing in your job and are earning others respect." And I could see that. That's what admin jobs I look at it say too, they want to see progressing responsibilities. The problem? How I got those responsibilities.
I won't give you the details but our supporting program that gave us workers can't find good workers (yeah, those background checks...try not to break the law and if you can do so, remedy the situation, don't ignore it) and minimum wage has made them difficult to pay for many of them. Anyway, that means getting volunteers instead of other help and on any given day I cannot guarantee that someone will be there. So yeah, that's the source.
Anyway, suddenly I got 2x more feedback than I ever expected. I still haven't sat there and thought about how I can work on items because I've been overwhelmed and just want to rest for the next day. Well, a couple are easily changeable and two will never change. I have a speech impediment since the day I was born and no I don't get paid enough to go to a speech therapist unless they're paying for it. Also, my handwriting isn't good but who told you to go back to the 1980's when you write every donation down on paper? These days people use computers and excel sheets. Yes, I can be a little more patient and ask "how are you."
Some of them though I'm stuck. I got feedback from 2 bosses. So who's is more right? I'll think more about this when I have a clear head. What really annoyed me was that some volunteer accused me of constantly accusing her of stealing for the past two weeks. It's pretty common actually so the rule is if my boss has their okay, I apologize and never do it again. That happened once and I followed that rule to this day. So she called my boss to tell her I told her I accused her of stealing milk. I didn't even know she took milk so how could I have accused her of stealing it? I saw her box and even encouraged her to take some produce.
So on my bus ride my head naturally bounced on my "how could I not make this happen again?" Which usually works but I don't think anything I could do could do this. Sure, I could have taken yesterday off but then she claimed I've done it for a week and a half. So that wouldn't work. I could have not corrected her but if I did that, my bosses would have a problem with me not enforcing rules. Wouldn't work either. As my bosses said, I need to be polite, friendly, and respectable as not to leave a bad note. Wait, I was all of those things. Didn't work anyway. So I can't help think I didn't do anything wrong.
Honestly, I thought something was off with her but you know, you have to give people a chance. I mean, lying isn't uncommon to her. Back when I met her and she was temporarily to be unemployed she said she was married and she didn't have as heavy monetary concerns. Now she's single, lives in a huge house, and doesn't know where she's getting her food. She may have kids but her son supposedly died in a mountain climbing accident. Yet her aunt is a Judge, her cousin a surgeon, etc and she has all these great connections.
I know, I know. This is all hearsay and I might be lying but I'm pretty blunt. I have enough social awareness to know when NOT to be but this is one medium where it's okay. I'm accused of something I didn't do and here's my justification. So if anyone reading this knows how to fix this or even can support me in my conclusion, let me know so I can just push it away because I have little self-confidence.
This week became a challenge with me getting food poisoning on Monday but I'm very much a soldier. It was pretty moderate and I just went home and rested but there's still that fatigue and muscle pain you don't enjoy. Just a temporary thing but when you work manual labor and are on your feet all day, it's a significant one. So what could really make things worse?
I got my yearly job performance review. 2017 created some massive responsibility additions so while I was given 7 duties, it somehow increased to 12. Yeah. Sure, you can sit here and be like "but isn't that good? It means your progressing in your job and are earning others respect." And I could see that. That's what admin jobs I look at it say too, they want to see progressing responsibilities. The problem? How I got those responsibilities.
I won't give you the details but our supporting program that gave us workers can't find good workers (yeah, those background checks...try not to break the law and if you can do so, remedy the situation, don't ignore it) and minimum wage has made them difficult to pay for many of them. Anyway, that means getting volunteers instead of other help and on any given day I cannot guarantee that someone will be there. So yeah, that's the source.
Anyway, suddenly I got 2x more feedback than I ever expected. I still haven't sat there and thought about how I can work on items because I've been overwhelmed and just want to rest for the next day. Well, a couple are easily changeable and two will never change. I have a speech impediment since the day I was born and no I don't get paid enough to go to a speech therapist unless they're paying for it. Also, my handwriting isn't good but who told you to go back to the 1980's when you write every donation down on paper? These days people use computers and excel sheets. Yes, I can be a little more patient and ask "how are you."
Some of them though I'm stuck. I got feedback from 2 bosses. So who's is more right? I'll think more about this when I have a clear head. What really annoyed me was that some volunteer accused me of constantly accusing her of stealing for the past two weeks. It's pretty common actually so the rule is if my boss has their okay, I apologize and never do it again. That happened once and I followed that rule to this day. So she called my boss to tell her I told her I accused her of stealing milk. I didn't even know she took milk so how could I have accused her of stealing it? I saw her box and even encouraged her to take some produce.
So on my bus ride my head naturally bounced on my "how could I not make this happen again?" Which usually works but I don't think anything I could do could do this. Sure, I could have taken yesterday off but then she claimed I've done it for a week and a half. So that wouldn't work. I could have not corrected her but if I did that, my bosses would have a problem with me not enforcing rules. Wouldn't work either. As my bosses said, I need to be polite, friendly, and respectable as not to leave a bad note. Wait, I was all of those things. Didn't work anyway. So I can't help think I didn't do anything wrong.
Honestly, I thought something was off with her but you know, you have to give people a chance. I mean, lying isn't uncommon to her. Back when I met her and she was temporarily to be unemployed she said she was married and she didn't have as heavy monetary concerns. Now she's single, lives in a huge house, and doesn't know where she's getting her food. She may have kids but her son supposedly died in a mountain climbing accident. Yet her aunt is a Judge, her cousin a surgeon, etc and she has all these great connections.
I know, I know. This is all hearsay and I might be lying but I'm pretty blunt. I have enough social awareness to know when NOT to be but this is one medium where it's okay. I'm accused of something I didn't do and here's my justification. So if anyone reading this knows how to fix this or even can support me in my conclusion, let me know so I can just push it away because I have little self-confidence.