It's strange. I can go days without thinking about John and then all of a sudden I can't escape. Last night I had a dream about him, and it's like a monthly occurance, a dream about him. And I hate the nights when I have them, because then I can't escape him and the memories. I've decided that when I finally stop dreaming about him I'll be fully ( Read more... )

I'm in London for the weekend. The 5th is my nan's birthday so I went out for dinner with le family, and then went to meet a friend I haven't seen for over a year. And as soon as we sat down with a drink.. I realised how much I've missed him. He's one of those friends that you'd never forget. He's always been there for me. He makes me feel like a ( Read more... )

What is it about love that makes us all want it.. and yet we all know (deep inside) that it's going to hurt.

I think I'm scared.

I've been having trouble with my sleeping pattern for a while now, and it's never a good thing. I know what it means, what I'm being told, but I can't help it. I stay awake so late, because when I close my eyes they just open again instantly. And then I want to sleep forever in the morning, and I can't do it. I have a nine o'clock lesson on Monday ( Read more... )

My dream last night kinda just translated into my fears and worries, but it still sucks. I mean, he'll still love as much as before when I see him, right? He'll still love me, right? The idea of losing him hurts me so much, that living through the reality again, well, it'd suck. So, I'm just going to stay optimistic. You with me? yeah.

It's been a rough couple of weeks. After hearing about my old teacher dying .. well, I don't think I've quite got over it. I'm still hurting inside and I don't have anyone I can tell this to because it'll sound strange.. I know he isn't family, and that I hadn't seen him since before the summer holidays, but there are some people you will never ( Read more... )

"If I should die
This very moment
I wouldn't fear.
For I've never known completeness
Like being here.

Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you.
Why live life
From dream to dream?

And dread the day
When dreaming ends."I'm thinking of love now. I'm thinking of the time when I looked into John's eyes before we ever started going out ( Read more... )

I am in a mood at the moment. And it's not a good one ( Read more... )

Love. It's such a huge strange thing. When I was young I was a typical non-girly girl. I didn't need love, I didn't need someone to hold me. This all changed when someone started to show interest in me, started to .. dare I say it.. love me. But then, one day, after things had turned sour he said to me "Are you in love with me? Or are you in love ( Read more... )

I cried at work today. Just broke the fuck down. Luckily I was in a room on my own and no one came in there whilst I cried. I just had to hold myself. Words reverberate around my mind and kick down the previously solid defenses I had built up ( Read more... )