wow. idk what to say in here. um ya so im still as fucked up as ever. zacks dead. and ya basically life sucks ass right now.

Well I haven't been keeping updated at all. Zack and I are both moved out now, getting jobs at the college and starting school in the fall. We are fighting more than ever and Im more insecure than ever. I miss home but I dont. Im home now for fathers day weekend and ive been home for five hours and have already b/p twice. Not bad but not good ( Read more... )

Im almost eighteen, I have the perfect fiance, Im moving out, Going to college, Have a great job....wtf? Why am I so trapped in Ed? Bulimia needs to seriously die. Fuck binging fuck purging fuck laxatives fuck starving...My body is so fucked up. My eyes are bruised, my hand is bruised and calloused, my throat is damaged, my stomach is bloated ( Read more... )

So, I have a lot going for me...I've fallen in love with my best friend and my best friend has fallen in love with me. We're going to move in together once we graduate in May. But since I was put in the hospital this summer I've gained weight...too much weight. I'm so fat now I have to lose this shit. But I'm binging and purging like crazy. I ( Read more... )

Today was okay. So mad that I ate the gum, otherwise it would be NOTHING ( Read more... )

So, on my other journal as jesusfreak718 I basically told life good-bye. Here's what I wrote ( Read more... )

Ugh.
So I recovered for like, two months and gained back weight. Now I'm 132, or I was a couple days ago. But I didn't eat anything yesterday, and only 150 calories today:(

I have been working out an hour a day or hour-hourandahalf a day.

I'm tired of being fat, I give up recovery.

I need to be numb again.

Uhhh...I hate the holidays!!! I have been eating so much crap. And not just because it's been forced down my throat. Most of it has been my own decision. If I get on the scale in the morning and its still 123,(this morning) I say shit, might as well eat breakfast. And then I eat half a cup of grapenuts and half a cup of 1% milk. Later on I'll ( Read more... )

HI ( Read more... )

Hi ( Read more... )