http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-twilight-was-10-time-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

"I love you. Put a baby in me."

"Let me tell you about Count Joseph Von Smith. One day a vampire named Moronula appeared to him and told him to find these golden stakes buried in a coffin..."

It's Christmas Day ( Read more... )

Hello, America, this is Sarah Palin again! Wow, just a few more days before...well, be sure to cast your vote for Palin/Fey in 2012. I'm sure Tina would just love to be my VP. Even though she made a lot of offensive jokes about me on that weird show that my advisors forced me to go on, didn't you see how flustered she was when she said "the real ( Read more... )

Hello, LiveJournal! It's me, Sarah Palin, reporting from the campaign trail during this exciting campaign's final days between the terrorist and the maverick. Vote for the maverick and vote for me, Sarah Palin this coming Tuesday! Even though those silly polls say that that socialist man who pals around with terrorists and wants to raise your taxes ( Read more... )

WATCH THIS.

I am not a masochist and I am not uke and if someone calls me either of those ever again ( Read more... )

....wow, guys ( Read more... )

Fangirls are scary.
Hilarious, but scary.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25840911/

"btw, my mom's having a sea-section right now."
...I adore IMing a household with eight children and one on the way.
I....corrected him too. Told him what the C stood for and everything and resisted telling him the historical background.

You know, I love Barack Obama, I really do, but I almost love this SNL sketch even more...
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/02/snls_fauxbama_fauxmenting_back.html?mid=daily-intel--yahoo-buzz
And frankly, I don't care what race the guy who played him is as long as he did a good job. And he did.