BEST TWILIGHT PARODY EVER. EVER!
http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-twilight-was-10-time-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html
"I love you. Put a baby in me."
"Let me tell you about Count Joseph Von Smith. One day a vampire named Moronula appeared to him and told him to find these golden stakes buried in a coffin..."