Various summaries I gathered while lurking around the Torchwood fandom at the Pit.
(And me being a general sarcastic person.)

( Onwards! )

So I was reading an okay Torchwood fic until I got to this:

Lisa was so beautiful… she was human, as if Cannery Warf had never happened. (emphasis mine)

Well, she was stuffed into a metal contraption that was more bikini-like than can-like, so maybe if you squint?

I then proceded to find a non-Harry Potter fic titled "My Immortal", so I decided to do ( Read more... )

Seems like the Torchwood fandom is having a lot of new authors popping up lately. Maybe it is because I ignored it a while, but besides my old trusty fic writers (my particular favorite author having a new mutli-chapter fiction in her brilliant alternate time line) there are some new ones of... varying degrees of skill. One who started out dreadful ( Read more... )

I was reading an otherwise decent (and nicely kinky) Torchwood fic, when I came across this lulzy typo

He began to message Jack’s ass, worshiping it like it deserved

I am now imagining Captain Jack having a separate phone line specifically for his ass, so all the texts it receives don't clog up his inbox >.>

I was reading a fic a while ago, and I came across this line:

"You seemed to be in need of a playmate," the Doctor said, then motioned to Ianto, pleased with himself. "So...wah lah! Ha!"

Oh, the dangers of assuming things are spelled the way they're pronounced.

I just found an old sporking on my hard drive that I never posted here. It's of a Doctor Who/Torchwood crossover called Wish Upon a Star. One author's note alone was spork bait:

I realised recently that I hadn't explained why Rose is around…basically the Martha series happened and around the time they were defeating the Master, Rose magically ( Read more... )

It's Reality Show Clip Time Bizarro Crossover Summary Time!

( BYOBleach )

Poor Torchwood fandom.

( Poor Ianto ... )

So I clicked on this fic knowing that this author was familiar to me because I recognized the name and because the link was the purple color that means I've looked at the profile before, but I couldn't remember why. I didn't realize that I knew this author because their fics were so awful in the past and I'd kept coming back. (Trainwreck syndrome ( Read more... )

( Fail beneath cut... )