to be seen right through.

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going through benzo withdrawal is hard, especially when i have access to whatever i want.  but just like alcohol and weed, i've come to a place where i'm just done with them and have realized that they were a replacement for my abuse of weed that i'm still recovering from.  i wanted to believe that it was simply a matter of not running out to avoid ( Read more... )

just a quick update as i watch these Iowa results and attempt to not be distracted by them.  i apologize for the small font size of the last entry, i don't have my glasses but i can't believe i used to post with such a small font.

ending my addiction to Facebook was one of the best decisions i could have ever made.  i also added to my time by ( Read more... )

my grandfather would take us to the library nearly every time we stayed with my grandparents. i loved reading books from the young adult section but soon graduated to big fantasy novels and a horror obsession. but at maybe 13 or 14 i stopped checking out many books because i was reading more difficult material and i can be a slow reader. my ( Read more... )

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Been hearing about you ( Read more... )

a friend commented on meditation, "why would i want to stop thinking when there is so much to think about?". a sentiment i can fully understand as someone who loves to think. however, i am also someone who understands the consequence of too much thinking which is a prominent cause of my anxiety. it is quite possible to train yourself to be more ( Read more... )

on being human, all too human:

there is another Rumi quote which i really need to find in my books rather than quoting verbatim but to the effect of "two lovers need not search for each other as they were there inside the other the entire time". it can be taken in a spiritual way, fated love as it were but i find that it as meaning lovers will ( Read more... )

matti has just disappeared. i'm guessing close to three months of not returning any contact means you don't want that person around anymore. i asked her if i did anything to upset her, i've asked if she's mad at me, i've asked her if she fell in love with someone else and just didn't want to tell me. if she's with someone else, that's fine, i ( Read more... )

so my brother divorced his wife amicably and it's a better situation for everyone involved. so he tells me that he's trying Match.com "just to see" (none of us do anything because we are lonely, at least that we'll admit to [everything we do]). "yo! shut that shit down and just sign up for Okcupid," i say. he's already got a date with what ( Read more... )

St. Claire Weekes (at least on my list of saints) suggests to deal with the foggy milieu of waking consciousness as quickly as possible. to eat a small amount of food to resupply the glucose that your body has used in sleeping maintenance of your body as well as water. your body will produce signals in the form of anxiety or unease when it feels ( Read more... )