well this is by far the most random entry i have ever managaed to post on my LJ. I havne't written in over a year that was fuoll of dramama and uneeded bullshit my life would still br classified as beyond chaotic but there can only be soo much mmore then any humsn

So you found out today your life's not the same ( Read more... )

Of all the mistakes in my life i know i have already made the worse. everyday it hurts the one person i love and care for most. she means so much to me but she goes through so much pain because of me. it is always there digging at my heart knowing that i hurt her so much. im on the verge of loosing her for good but i refuse to let go. my stomach is ( Read more... )

So I'm the king of all these things of this mess I have made ( Read more... )

I am becoming lost again in my own head. I dont know whats happening anymore but i know where im heading if i dont figure things out. Its a place i haven't been in a long time and i dont want to go back. It scares me thinking about it because i know how bad it can get. this saturday is one year and i hope i am able to see her. i hope i can show ( Read more... )

My head feels so rambled up right now i dont know what is going on. Things seem to be so confusing and nothing seems to make since. i love and miss her so much yet it seems like she wants nothing to do with anymore. i dont even know what to think anymore. i want the fighting to end. i want us to be togeather again. i know the pain i am feeling ( Read more... )

As I sit here over another month has passed since i last wrote in here. I think about things that have happened and things that have been done. She is always on my mind and i love and care for her so much despite the fact that sometimes it does not seem like it. I know I hurt her more then anyone ever could have and I hate myself for it day after ( Read more... )

why am i such a fuck up. in everything i do i always seem to do something wrong.i dont want to be a fuck up. i dont want to loose her. she has become everything that is my world. as i sit here even the thought of loosing rips me apart. i feel like my chest is being torn open and she is the only who is able to ease the pain but it will not cease ( Read more... )

I have fucked up beyond all belief. I had the most amazing girl ever and I screwed up. In life it seems to work against happiness. Despite how happy you may be there is that force that works against everything. I feel like I should be shot right now because I deserve nothing I have. You never realize how much someone or something means to you until ( Read more... )

so yea i have decided to just keep using this one because it has so many memories in it ( Read more... )