I spent most of the day starring at myself, thinking how ugly I'am. I really do hate myself. I hate myself for what people do to me, and what people judge me for, and for what my parents have made me fear in this world. I'm so scared of everything.

I could sit here forever and jus cry. Watch myself cry, and the makeup run off my face. Think of how ( Read more... )

I miss a lot of people. But some of them just don't seem to care.

To a few of the people out there that I thought were my friends...all I want is for you to be happy.  If your happy, I'm happy.

I was with Antonio all day....   =D

I jus wish I could get my act together, and see what the fuck is wrong with me. Cuz I don't feel the same way about ( Read more... )

Tell me, Is there such a think as love?

I really wonder.

Can you really love someone for the rest of your life? Or over time does it fade?

Does destiny really take a tole in our lives?  Or do we make our decisions ourselves?

Love, is nothing to me. Just a 4 letter word. Guys use it to get into your life, and for me I have kept a wall up for that ( Read more... )

Confused, and I've been thinking a lot.

Should I give Antonio a chance....I want to but then I don't.

This great big wall of so called love has come between me and taking a chance at anything.

I fear Love.  And I always will.

Reluctant: Hesitant, Holding back. <

Antonio was right when he called me reluctant.

If holding myself back from getting ( Read more... )

So yesterday I went and saw Bewitched with Kathy. It was soooo cute and fuckin hilarious! =D I haven't seen Kathy in a while and I missed her so it was nice to get out.

Today, Antonio called me and came over.  =D It was so nice to see him. He made my day and I'm still smiling. He's leaving on July 2oth for 5 months to go to school for the Marines. ( Read more... )

Happy 4th Of July my fellow friends!!!

Went to Katie's for a BBQ...

Spent the nite with Antonio.... =D

Enough said there...I can't stop smiling...  =D

Later Alligators.

<3

"I'm done with this game you play. I'm finished waiting for you. Were through, I'm over and done with you."

--For Robert. Thanks for everything..but giving me nothing.

He fuckin called me today...he asked if he could stop by my Dad's house...I should have said no. I should have said no! But I didn't...and when he was there, I jus couldn't look at him. It jus hurts too much when I do. Then he promised me that he would come and pick me up so we could watch a movie at his house...did he call? Nope.  Again there I ( Read more... )

Ohhhh boi...boi o boi.

Antonio called me today, and came over. =D I had such a good time with him....he's so cute and he makes me laugh.  He made me late to my grandma's house for dinner but I didn't care. We were outside for like 2 and a half hours...and my Dad jus had to come out and see who I was conversing with...so he met my Dad. Antonio even ( Read more... )

Alrite soo today:

Got up early again...my grandma woke me up.  Were gonna go visit her tomorrow.  =)

Talked to my Mom...um yea.  More making me feel guilty and manipulating processes.

My Dad had something to take care of, and I didn't want to come with so he took us to my Mom's house and I spent some quality time with my kitty.  I miss him.  As ( Read more... )

So yea....

Mite go out to dinner tonite with my Dad    =)

I feel sooooo goood todayyyyy!  I'm in such a good mood, I wanna be nice to everyone, and that's sooo not me. Haha.

Talked to Randy today...umm yea sure.

I can't get over how good I've been feeling these past few days..today is day # 3!!!!

I got up at 9:30 this mourning too. And I feel ( Read more... )