I'm giving up. I don't even know what to say. He never came. Again. I don't know what to do. I'm so fucking alone and I can't do anything about it. I've tried, I really have. I've tried to better my life in every way possible, but it's just not possible when the people in it are so hurtful ( Read more... )

This month is good. Financially I'm in really good shape for once. I've been at my job since late February of this year and I've made over $4500 already. Money just keeps rolling in and it's awesome ( Read more... )

Every night I stand in front of the mirror and cry. I look at myself and see the rejection starring back at me, like I'd already seen it in his eyes ( Read more... )

Yesterday I had a serious moment of thought to run a red light and fly straight into traffic with my eyes closed and hands up ( Read more... )

Ug. Ate like a pig today.

Breakfast - Crackers - 28 calories

Lunch - Salad - 100 calories, Dressing - 80 calories. Piece of Candy Cane - 15 calories.

Dinner - Veggies w/ garlic sauce - 400 calories (!!!!) Slice of ham&slice of turkey - 100 caloriesTotal - 723 calories ( Read more... )

Ug. I stopped eating again. I don't care really. And apparently I stopped sleeping normal hours... Yesterday I was up until 3am having sex, fell asleep for two hours, than woke up and had to leave the hotel Lenny and I we're at so his mother wouldn't catch us. Than I got to my mothers house by 6am and went back to sleep until almost 2pm ( Read more... )

I met a girl. A few weeks ago I danced with a girl at a club in Nassau County. She was awesome, and sexy and very cute. And I told her so. But I was super drunk. And after a while I couldn't find her, or remember her name ( Read more... )

Staying on the move for the most part ( Read more... )

A long time ago I used to see things that hadn't happened yet. I used to call it nightvision, because that's what it was. It was a way for me to see into people's lives and what would happened in the very near future. I didn't have any logical way of explaining it without sounding like some sort of hippie fortune teller, or a silly teenager with a ( Read more... )

So as crazy as this sounds, Lenny and I have decided that Seattle, Washington isn't really the place for us. I like it just fine, but he doesn't really. I told him I'd like to stay a bit long, so he's going to sign a lease for an apartment, weather it's six months or a year, than afterwards, we're going to pick up and probably move to Florida. I ( Read more... )