Eating...nothing
Ug. I stopped eating again. I don't care really. And apparently I stopped sleeping normal hours... Yesterday I was up until 3am having sex, fell asleep for two hours, than woke up and had to leave the hotel Lenny and I we're at so his mother wouldn't catch us. Than I got to my mothers house by 6am and went back to sleep until almost 2pm.
I can't eat when I first wake up so.. well I didn't.
Food -
10 Whole Wheat Crackers - 140 calories
1 tbsp peanutbutter - 95 calories
Samples @ Chef store - 75 calories(at most)
Total - 310 calories
I know I'm a hypocrite. I feel horrible for not eating. I'm in complete denial that I might be the "a" word. Yuck. I don't know. I don't want to look like THOSE girls. Ya know the bone skinny ones. Yuck yuck eeeyuck. I want to be thinner, not thin. Big difference.
I'm going to weight 165 before I start eating normal again. Than I'll slowly start eating, just a bit more.
Tomorrow I'm going to eat AT LEAST one fruit. And drink A LOT of water, so metabolism doens't kill itself.
Ug. I hate myself for doing this.
It's 12:12am. Why am I still awake?
The girl I was "seeing". Complete player... I think. She only seems to want me when she's drunk, which is aggrivating because I want her all the time. I'm pretty sure she's just going to the clubs to get ass, I don't think she's looking for a girlfriend, but I guess I deserve that since I pretty much completey lied to her. I didn't tell her I have a boyfriend. I didn't tell her my biological name, I didn't really tell her anything. Actually we barely talked.
Just kissed. A lot. And danced. And touched. Well yeah. I'm done.
I can't eat when I first wake up so.. well I didn't.
Food -
10 Whole Wheat Crackers - 140 calories
1 tbsp peanutbutter - 95 calories
Samples @ Chef store - 75 calories(at most)
Total - 310 calories
I know I'm a hypocrite. I feel horrible for not eating. I'm in complete denial that I might be the "a" word. Yuck. I don't know. I don't want to look like THOSE girls. Ya know the bone skinny ones. Yuck yuck eeeyuck. I want to be thinner, not thin. Big difference.
I'm going to weight 165 before I start eating normal again. Than I'll slowly start eating, just a bit more.
Tomorrow I'm going to eat AT LEAST one fruit. And drink A LOT of water, so metabolism doens't kill itself.
Ug. I hate myself for doing this.
It's 12:12am. Why am I still awake?
The girl I was "seeing". Complete player... I think. She only seems to want me when she's drunk, which is aggrivating because I want her all the time. I'm pretty sure she's just going to the clubs to get ass, I don't think she's looking for a girlfriend, but I guess I deserve that since I pretty much completey lied to her. I didn't tell her I have a boyfriend. I didn't tell her my biological name, I didn't really tell her anything. Actually we barely talked.
Just kissed. A lot. And danced. And touched. Well yeah. I'm done.