be kind to thyself and express rather than suppress.

EXPRESS RATHER THAN SUPPRESS.

it is perhaps true that i have fallen into little-girl mode less often since my initial breakdown in portland than ever before in my life.

i just realized that i still hate myself, even though i have tried so tirelessly for this not to be the case ( Read more... )

i don't know how to have a relationship in the real world ( Read more... )

"you need time for the world to prove to you that this isn’t normal. this isn’t what you should expect."

i often fantasize about someone else sneaking into my head. i imagine them looking around and falling over, plowed by a wave

of anxiety
and insecurity
and sheer regret.

as they died, they'd gasp, "i-had no-idea-".

being at work makes me wanna be elsewhere.
wanting to be elsewhere makes me click around maniacally,
seek instant gratification,
and escape.

escapes:
marijuana
manoil
alcohol
going to the club

It’s weird to be staring at a screen all day ( Read more... )

either
i forgot
or
never knew
i could feel
how
your warm hands made me feel.

i want to fill you with flowers.

you want to be in san francisco? so: go to san francisco. find something to do there. don't think about what you're missing somewhere else. just do shit, and eventually life will pan out. leave the web of LIES.

this is the beginning of a new week ( Read more... )