confused
i don't know how to have a relationship in the real world.
or, rather, how to interact with people romantically in the real world.
it all seemed pretty obvious in high school and college, i guess.
i guess i just wonder how i used to interact with people romantically without losing my shit. but i guess, on second thought, i've never not lost my shit.
this just feels a lot more uncomfortable than i remember.
it's like: when i'm not interested in someone, i am lonely (i think). but then when i am interested in someone, i'm tortured.
and i know all the usual answers: "gurl, do YOU," etc., but sometimes that's just such an unsatisfying thought. maybe i need something else, like community, or opium, or something. or just to, like, watch netflix in my bed instead of being in the office on sunday night.
you know: do things that i enjoy doing.
do the things that i used to do when i got bored, before i learned to associate the feeling of boredom with wanting to make out with someone.
or, rather, how to interact with people romantically in the real world.
it all seemed pretty obvious in high school and college, i guess.
i guess i just wonder how i used to interact with people romantically without losing my shit. but i guess, on second thought, i've never not lost my shit.
this just feels a lot more uncomfortable than i remember.
it's like: when i'm not interested in someone, i am lonely (i think). but then when i am interested in someone, i'm tortured.
and i know all the usual answers: "gurl, do YOU," etc., but sometimes that's just such an unsatisfying thought. maybe i need something else, like community, or opium, or something. or just to, like, watch netflix in my bed instead of being in the office on sunday night.
you know: do things that i enjoy doing.
do the things that i used to do when i got bored, before i learned to associate the feeling of boredom with wanting to make out with someone.