I need a vacation.

*checks employment contract*

Earthquakes, flooding, overchlorinating, and now there seems to be some kind of war going on. *waves a few tentacles* Babysitting is stressful enough without chunks of stone raining down upon you and your belongings. Not that anyone's noticed. Sure, they've all been distracted with shoring up the city's defenses, blah blah blah. Hmm, defenses. * ( Read more... )

Babies float pretty well, right?

My eyes! MY EYES!!!

Someone overchlorinated my pool.

Owowowow. Ow.

*whimpers*

*splashes, floats*

How many kids am I supposed to be watching and where are they?

This isn't going to look good on my next performance review.

Recent flooding was actually great timing, as it allowed me to take the overland route to Minas Tirith for my new job! Am sure it would have been a more scenic trip if everything hadn't been under water, but it allowed me to make excellent time.

However, did not count on one very big minus of being landlocked: the ground moves. Not fun. Things ( Read more... )

*sighswiish*

Elf-friendly spa was a spectacular failure. Actually found myself working. Elves very prissy and demanding. Stupid elves.

Heard about an exciting opportunity in Gondor. Me...an au pair! Am actually a perfect candidate, when you think about it. I am a weapon, practically (back in the day, I made him cry like a hobbit lass, at least). ( Read more... )

May have found yet another chance for a smorgasbord fulfilling business opportunity thanks to this...er, not-pony-thing. Yes, it makes a good deal of sense. After all, what better way to draw those nancing beauty queens elves? And the dwarves will still want to come. Have to have separate pools, though, don't want to mix the two flavors or have ( Read more... )

The increased traffic of dwarves through this region has begun to wreak havoc with my diet. Not that there's anything wrong with love handles a particularly bouncy, plump blubber layer, of course. It's that damn cholesterol one must watch out for. Take an extra lap or five during the morning swim, try to balance the fatty dwarves with a lean elf ( Read more... )