wow. it's been a long time of this. I find myself looking at my self and then looking at my environment... people, places, things, both personal and impersonal... and thinking about how far I've come, and how little I've moved all at once.

My life is mine. I won't give away my strength, energy, or maturity to those who don't deserve it anymore. As a ( Read more... )

( Another year, another decade )

fuck work.
seriously.

and fuck not being able to go to the picnic.

this sucks.

i desperately need another job.

:P

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
got a job from a legitimate corporation. stood on my own two feet?... eh the jury's still out on that one.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
no resolutions. no plans for them. I've been thinking about things I could do to make this year better ( Read more... )

I am not a girl, actually... not that I wasn't already aware. I just have to stop convincing myself that I can bond and fit in as well as everyone else, even for just one night a year.

I'm not a girl.
shit.
fuck.
no. not gonna happen.

The arbitrary posting of
( lyrics )

So I haven't been very connected to the internet lately. No more wireless. Too much sloth ( Read more... )

What the fuck is wrong with this damn life?
It's a beautiful day.

Last night I ran around manic {like I do at work} getting my shit together and getting ready in other vague ways, anticipating waking up the next morning at 5:30am, only to sit around until 11{with a 20 minute walk ahead of me} watching other people drink and be merry... and get a ( Read more... )

11:00pm-1:33am
4/10/08-4/11/08
Kira is anxious.
Kira is uncomfortable.
Kira is grateful.
Kira is upset.
Kira is venting.
Kira is listening.
Kira is finding peace of mind.
Kira is letting herself feel it.
Kira is tired.
Kira is relieved.
Kira is ready for bed.
Kira is checking for a message, or a comment, or anything.
Kira is let down.
Kira is indifferent.
Kira is ( Read more... )

I'm listening to this music because I want to remember what my life was like before all of this. The most organic 'me'. . . whatever... whoever that is.

listen to our pretty song
we are happy as the day is long
forget the things you thought you knew
we'll make a very good girl of you.

I cannot help but remember the things that are no longer real, ( Read more... )