up, out, and on
wow. it's been a long time of this. I find myself looking at my self and then looking at my environment... people, places, things, both personal and impersonal... and thinking about how far I've come, and how little I've moved all at once.
My life is mine. I won't give away my strength, energy, or maturity to those who don't deserve it anymore. As a great man once said "In my life, why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or I die?" And heaven knows I've been miserable, but christ, hasn't adolescence gone on long enough? Whatever happened to moving on to something better? To growing up and making something more of yourself? A self that you can look back on and (whatever cringing may occur) not be so ashamed, embarrassed, or regretful for. We all have regrets, embarrassment, and shame from our past to deal with. So what a gift self awareness is! And free will, and growth! The ability to move on and become the self that you've always been striving for, and maybe one day you can look back and be able to say in all truth "I did the absolute best I could and I am not ashamed of my spirit or my soul... or the life I've chosen to live."
I'm finally ready to move away from those who don't deserve me. Part of growing up is learning who to support, who to let go their own separate way, and who to leave behind.
I will not be ashamed of myself. Not of my life or my soul or my spirit. Not ever and certainly not because of an outsider's impact. I've been a child for long enough. I won't let myself be stunted for the sake of others anymore. I'm progressing on with or without others; and for once I don't care who follows me on, if anyone.
.
.
.
I'm going out sleepwalking
where mute memories start talking
the boss that couldn't help but hurt you
and the pretty thing he made desert you
I'm going out like a baby
a naive unsatisfiable baby
grabbing on to whatever's around
for the soaring high
or the crushing down
with hidden cracks that don't show
but they constantly just grow
looking for the man that attacked me
while everybody was laughing at me
you beat it in me, that part of you
but I'm gonna split us back in two
tired of living in a cloud
if you're gonna say shit now
you do it out loud
it's 2:45 in the morning
and I'm putting myself on warning
for waking up in an unknown place
with the recollection you half erased
looking for somebody's arms to
wave a way past harm's
walking out on center circle
the both of you can just fade to black
walking out on center circle
been pushed away and I'll never go back
.
.
.
My life is mine. I won't give away my strength, energy, or maturity to those who don't deserve it anymore. As a great man once said "In my life, why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or I die?" And heaven knows I've been miserable, but christ, hasn't adolescence gone on long enough? Whatever happened to moving on to something better? To growing up and making something more of yourself? A self that you can look back on and (whatever cringing may occur) not be so ashamed, embarrassed, or regretful for. We all have regrets, embarrassment, and shame from our past to deal with. So what a gift self awareness is! And free will, and growth! The ability to move on and become the self that you've always been striving for, and maybe one day you can look back and be able to say in all truth "I did the absolute best I could and I am not ashamed of my spirit or my soul... or the life I've chosen to live."
I'm finally ready to move away from those who don't deserve me. Part of growing up is learning who to support, who to let go their own separate way, and who to leave behind.
I will not be ashamed of myself. Not of my life or my soul or my spirit. Not ever and certainly not because of an outsider's impact. I've been a child for long enough. I won't let myself be stunted for the sake of others anymore. I'm progressing on with or without others; and for once I don't care who follows me on, if anyone.
.
.
.
I'm going out sleepwalking
where mute memories start talking
the boss that couldn't help but hurt you
and the pretty thing he made desert you
I'm going out like a baby
a naive unsatisfiable baby
grabbing on to whatever's around
for the soaring high
or the crushing down
with hidden cracks that don't show
but they constantly just grow
looking for the man that attacked me
while everybody was laughing at me
you beat it in me, that part of you
but I'm gonna split us back in two
tired of living in a cloud
if you're gonna say shit now
you do it out loud
it's 2:45 in the morning
and I'm putting myself on warning
for waking up in an unknown place
with the recollection you half erased
looking for somebody's arms to
wave a way past harm's
walking out on center circle
the both of you can just fade to black
walking out on center circle
been pushed away and I'll never go back
.
.
.