"Look at my new jacket!"  He held out his arms and twirled around in the parking lot.  "it was only $12.99 at Gabriel Brothers!"

His grin was dazzling and I realized I really wasn't looking at my nephew at all.  I laughed.

"Sammy, your mother would be so proud of you" I picked at an invisible fleck of lint on his sleeve "She spent more money on ( Read more... )

It's a rare day when I have a car at work. Usually Chris drops me off & picks me up. But today she was tired and the roads were a bit icy in places, so I played chauffer. So instead of eating at the horrible cafeteria here, I drove out to Wendy's for a burger. On the way home, I heard something on the radio that brought me to tears.

( Cut for those that may also be caught off guard )

Robin shot herself and hung for hours suspended between life and death. By the time she left us, I knew that there is something worse than losing someone before her time; that would have been to keep her past her time.

Almost another year has gone by... our kids are another year older. There are now two grandchildren which she never met. I have moved on in my life. I trusted someone else who declared herself to be my best friend. After she was gone, I met Chris, and somehow fell in love despite the fact that I'd had my heart broken twice in the recent past. ( Read more... )

I am still alive and kicking, in case you were wondering. Just a few scattered thoughts...

• I wonder if it is time to get in contact with my parents again. I miss them.
  
• I've been thinking about Robin a lot. The other day I saw someone who resembled her. I couldn't help it; I just stood there and looked at her for a minute. I don't think that it ( Read more... )

Robin's birthday was Sunday. I wanted to go lay some flowers on her grave ( Read more... )

A grueling weekend. But I had a pretty cool "sign" on Sunday!

I had promised Helen (My ex-mother-in-law) to take her to her hometown, about 100 miles, to do the cemetary thing. Her daughter was my SIL and best friend, Robin. I had not been to Robin's grave. Ever, We also had the ashes of her husband John and son Butch to scatter.

( Read more... )

It was almost three years ago, on a hot august night. I had just popped a tape into the VCR and was contentedly surfing the web when my telephone rang. My close friend and x-SIL had shot herself and was en route to the hospital ( Read more... )

Not because I couldn't save her --

I hate myself because I did not try.

I wish Robin were here to talk to about this ( Read more... )