The news?
The room temperature setting?
My body temperature?

Restless
Irritated
Aggravated
Annoyed
Hostile
*Rwar* ggrr .... Attack ready

antagonistic?

Didn't want to take it out on him, though my impulse was trying to.

I tried to shut myself off.
Eyes closed.

Most effective was cold water ...
Face
Back of Neck
Under the breast --- felt my heartrate Up
Chest
Armpits

After Grandma's passing...
I was and still is lost.

All I ever wanted was to make her happy and shower her with the love and affection she's been giving me my whole life.

Grandpa said I did enough, and Grandma got back what she had invested in me as I grew up.
It was comforting hearing that, even though it still hurts. A pain that knows no bounds in my ( Read more... )

It's been over a year since Jane's passing ( Read more... )

我心里很难受。。。 原本想着全心全意的埋头苦干，可是又是一个失望的寄托。

真心，好心。。。 在私心面前都是多余。

尽心尽力 = 废了
出钱出力=
竹篮打水一场空。

心灰意冷

It's been a while since i took the time out to write, collect my thoughts, my thinking, and to just .. "clear my head".... to emptying my cup.

I miss Janey, I miss Grandma, I miss my dogs, i miss the bunnies.
I miss having someone who cares about me and wants to be a shoulder for me to lean on.
Just someone who gave a damn about me, for me. No other ( Read more... )

He doesn't know what I'm upset about.

Things I don't comprehend ( Read more... )

I have so many thoughts from the new information I just absorbed, that I'm trying to process and analyze properly, before all the uneasy, anxious feelings get me antsy and unsettled. ...(which I can feel its starting....besides the onset of paranoia ( Read more... )

One day when you do self reflect...

The part of you that wanted to be with me and cried in front of me cause he wanted a second chance..... will make you regret today.

知己知彼。。。

I dont know what i was thinking... Being so wreckless and irresponsible

To think of anything more would come to pasa with someone like that...

"I didnt really know what i want"

Reminded me of Matt.....

Ironically, had a long convo. With Matt today... And it felt weird
..esp. when he kissed me on the forehead...twice. The second time I knew why, ( Read more... )