I have found that hiding from him doesn't help. He's locked away inside of me but he's still there. Every so often he'll try his best to come out and i'll burst into tears all over again. But I can't be that person with my Bruaheq. I can't be a Dragon with my Pheonix. And so, the dragon within me will have to stay locked away forever. I can't be ( Read more... )

It's amazing how better I feel just after hearing the truth. Ya know what I mean? Just after knowing the whole story. I know who she left me for now and I know how she really feels about me. So, it helps to know the truth, for once. For a change! So, I do feel better. Honestly. A little truth helps, goes a long way.

You wanna know what I really think is bothering me the most about it right this moment? And I know you people don't know what I am talking about but, i'll post again later and maybe fill you in on the details. But, the part that's bothering me the most is that she won't even fucking talk to me. I mean, i've messaged her like four times, almost once ( Read more... )

I know that I haven't posted a whole lot over the past couple of weeks but, i've been pretty darn depressed. I sit at the house all the time hoping for a phone call that might never come. That's what I did most of the day yesterday was sit at the house and wait and see if she was going to get a phone call on valentines day. Of course she didn't but ( Read more... )

It's been two days now since Cortnye left. The distance is really starting to be felt. I've felt quite a bit of emptiness and lost. I feel lost. I don't know what to do with myself. I still sit around and wait for her to call and or text me. It's weird knowing that she isn't. I missed her call today though. She called Justin thinking that I was ( Read more... )

A day that I'll never forget. Today, Cortnye left for basic training. She left from the Charlotte airport and went to St. Louis, Missouri where she took a bus to FT. Leonard Wood. It took her all day to reach her destination, but it only took a few hours after I woke up this morning to start to feel the effects of her being gone and she wasn't even ( Read more... )

I'm signing off my messengers and such and going to play a game I suppose. Just wanted to let you know honey so you could like, call justins phone and let me know that you are home or whatever you wanted to do. This way I wouldn't have to send you a text message to let you know and won't bother you or your mom. I love you baby! And my mood isn't ( Read more... )

Up kinda early this morning. Couldn't relaly sleep any longer. I didn't particular want to wake up because I didn't want to wake up without Cortnye this morning. But, i'm sure sometime today i'll get to see her. Or I hope at least. *nods* Maybe i'll even get to stay with her tonight. That would be where its at, for sure. I hope I get at least one ( Read more... )

I has it. Three days from now...Cortnye will be leaving. I've never felt such an ache in my heart before. I'm going to miss her so much. It's effecting me so much that, everything is getting to me. I was talking to her on the phone and just kinda started crying right before we got off the phone. I don't think she noticed though, I hope not. But, i' ( Read more... )

Welp, I woke up this morning to almost being stepped on. O_O That's what I get for sleeping in the floor. But, ya know? lol But, i'm going to be spending most of the day Cortnye. Were going to Spartanburg today to see a couple of her friends. One if my friend too but, she won't really talk to me anymore. So, it's all good. I'm drying my clothes ( Read more... )