(Untitled)

[uncookednoodle]

I'm...alive.

I woke up at Godric's Hollow under a big tree like I was just sleeping there, had a big yawn, stood up, stretched and here I am.
It's really uh...alivey! I ate an apple and it tasted like APPLES! The grass felt like GRASS! The nudity felt like...well. I was starkers under that tree. But after standing up and testing the new and

Comments

[stfupotter]

...

YOU'RE POTTER'S FATHER? WHY ARE YOU ALIVE?

[uncookednoodle]

Because Gryffindor's aren't stopped by slithery, inbred Slytherins and their little club of goths. That's why.
Aren't you Lucuis' son?

[stfupotter]

What the bloody hell is a goth?

Logically, you cannot come back from the dead, unless you are an Inferi or a ghost, of which I am fairly sure you are neither. Did you even age?

Obviously.

[uncookednoodle]

A Muggle-born friend of mine said it was basically people who like death and wear loads of black. Like your da and all. The fucker. Did he ever marry that Narcissa priss?

Oi, I don't know WHAT happened! I woke up under a tree at the Hollow and there I was. What do you want me to say? I'm not an Inferi and I'm not transparent or anything, so who knows.

Heh. Just as snobby and sour.

[chocolatehelps]

Hullo, Prongs. Welcome back? If you stay with Pads at all, beware of the flat, as it's still...practically alive.

[uncookednoodle]

HI MOONY! Thanks! That'd help, actually. I'm going to run out of money soon. Is Hector still at his flat?

[chocolatehelps]

...Frighteningly, yes.

[uncookednoodle]

THAT'S ACE! I miss him. Maybe I can feed him biscuits again. That was fun.
...You have a mustache now?

[bite_fetish]

Being Undead is also enjoyable.

[uncookednoodle]

Not when you were killed by a curse in front of your wife and child and would've lived to raise your son.

Who're you then?

[bite_fetish]

I am the vampire Lestat.

[uncookednoodle]

...Vampire? Y'know. I'm sort of duty-bound to kill you as an Auror.

[livingparanoia]

....Potter?

Yeh're....alive?

[uncookednoodle]

MOODY?

I'm back, sir! Can't say I know how though.

[livingparanoia]

....

Black is a platypus.

Malfoy Jr. was a vampire.

The bloody Dark Lord eats waffles and is as terrifyin' as a bloody niffler.

And Potter's back from the dead.

...

SOMEBODY'S BEEN TAMPERIN' WITH MY BLOODY FLASK. I JUS' KNOW IT. THA'S IT. I'M GETTING A NEW ONE. AN' PROTECTIN' IT WITH MORE BLOODY HEXES THAN THE ONES I WAN' TO SEND AFTER MALFOY SR.'S ARSE THE NEX' TIME I SEE 'IM!

[uncookednoodle]

No, no, sir, your flask is fine!

Sirius DID become a platypus but that's because of a misson he was on. Malfoy's a vampire probably because that Lestat boyo is involved and the Dark Lord's....well.

I don't know HOW I came back, but Dumbledor HAS to know something. He left the cloak and money there for me!

[die_mudblood]

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU LOOK LIKE HARRYMYPRECIOUSONE BUT YOUR EYES ARE UGLIER

[uncookednoodle]

...Voldemort?

FUCK THE EYES, YOU TOSSER, YOU KILLED ME, MY WIFE AND TRIED TO KILL MY SON!

"HARRYMYPRECIOUSONE"?!?!

[die_mudblood]

I LIKE WAFFLES ^_________^

He is. HIS EYES ARE GREEEEEEN LIKE FROGGIES

[uncookednoodle]

YOU FUCKING KILLED ME! AND NOW YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WAFFLES?

HARRY IS NOTHING OF YOURS! HE'S MY SON! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM!