I seem to continually wander about with the feeling that we exist with the framework of severely broken paradigms. That is, that too many basic assumptions are skewed, too much of the foundation upon which we build is rotted. That the basic beliefs we rarely think to even review, much less question, but then use every day to make judgments and ( Read more... )

The way in which I've viewed my self and my life has changed drastically and continues to do so. There are still many areas full of unexplored beliefs; ideas taken for granted as aspects of reality. But these are constantly becoming apparent, as are their effects upon my experience, the ease with which I can change them, and the possibilities this ( Read more... )

I've been pondering fairly often and with intent in the last week or so, the concept and vision, okay, not so much pondering as setting up a simulation, a projection, a visualization of what would happen were a child to be raised from the start with the beliefs that I've had to work so hard to break out of the ingrained conceptions we're raised ( Read more... )

Arrrgh uggh blah. I made food but while waiting for it to be finished lost my appetite to eat it ( Read more... )

Another day, another fucking day. Just another fucking day. What is it? Thursday? Supposedly. Ever realize that doesn't mean anything? That there is nothing about this day that makes it different in a way to be Thursday. There is no Thursdayness about it. It is just a day, like any other, and only even that because we've marked a division where ( Read more... )

Well this week is shaping up to be another great fun crap in a bag sorta week. I thought after slacking off all last week I was going to be rested and ready to go. Guess not. So far I've been late for work every day. Partially due to a conspiracy of my alarm clock as well as the season to make it harder to wake up. Yesterday I hit snooze then didn' ( Read more... )

Hmmm, I just totally tweaked my sound system and it sounds about 1000% better. What the fuck. How long have I had these new speakers? Since spring or summer I'd guess. That reminds me about something. Anyhow, all these little things... shit like that, taking the ten minutes to tweak and adjust my sound system. Something that frustrated me to no end ( Read more... )

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I had a dream the other night. I had two dreams, but the first has faded from memory, all but a hint of shading and lingering feel. Those are my tones. I remember things by feel. As I try to put words and visions to memories and events, the true meaning for me is always in the feel. The tone ( Read more... )