(no subject)
I've been pondering fairly often and with intent in the last week or so, the concept and vision, okay, not so much pondering as setting up a simulation, a projection, a visualization of what would happen were a child to be raised from the start with the beliefs that I've had to work so hard to break out of the ingrained conceptions we're raised with to attain. It is an interesting idea that could present amazing opportunities to the child, as they would see things inherently from the start, never feel they lacked any control over their life and existence, and be able to navigate and create their optimal reality. Essentially. Obviously a lot of aspects come into play here. You have to wonder how the child would fare with their peers, etc. But, this of course would alter based on the child's beliefs and how well they understood and believed and facilitated this, as well as how outspoken they were of it, etc etc.
The thing with musings like this though, are that they tend to loop back around on themselves to where if I imagine having a child and raising it as such, I move from imagining that child's life and how it would differ from most of ours to imagining myself raising that child and perceiving them externally, at which point we shift from the child's reality to my own, and then the effects on the child, the state of the child's life would be shifted towards my own beliefs.
Now things get really tricky. You start having to question whose beliefs are forming what, whose reality is this? If I say that my beliefs about my child's life would effect the experience of their life, then how can I say I create my own reality, and not that my experience is formed by my parents' or anyone else's beliefs as they watch and perceive me. Hehe, and now things start sounding far more complicated than necessary, and certainly more complicated than they are. Now we play into personal vs. mass beliefs, human interactions, and most of all potential selves and experiences. Now we have to start wondering to what extent we create not just our own reality, but our own world. Obviously we do not exist alone here, we are surrounded by billions of people, all of whose beliefs effect the overall feel and direction and events of the world and humanity. And of course, consciousness is not just relegated to humans, consciousness is within everything, and all effects all. But, it is starting to seem to me that things are in some ways more and more personally controlled. Because of potential selves, and the constant shifting of one potential self to another in the simultaneity of time. As our beliefs change our experience changes. This is most easily seen, experienced, and applied at a very personal level. But beyond that it gets tricky as one can doubt and wonder how much influence they could have over events and experiences involving other people, and their individual wills and beliefs. How could that work? Of course, the others around us are just as simply potential variants of themselves, and chances are, we converge and interact with those potential variants that fit our own beliefs. Which isn't to take away the individuality and free will etc., of all those other people around us. Not at all. See, there's not really any good way to explain this in the hard literalism of the english language. But in essence, it seems to me at this point that it really is that simple. Our beliefs of the world effect the potential world which we exist in and experience, our beliefs about the people in our lives effect the potential variations of these people that we come into contact with. This is not a hard, divided, switching on and off sort of thing. It is something that one must gain a sense for to gain an understanding. "The Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao." And all that jazz.
This can all seem a little startling or threatening. But, it shouldn't, it doesn't threaten the validity of our own individuality or anyone else's. It isn't to say we're alone in our own little world, or that we control the world and everyone in it, though we control the reality and world we live in. Hehe. Not contradictory, really. It isn't to say that the world is full only of people who fit with my beliefs of the people in the world. Not exactly. It is to an extent saying the interactions with these people vary based on our individual beliefs, and to an extent, the people we interact with are varied according to our beliefs, but that is not a matter of one person controlling the status of the others, for who would be controlled and controller? That would make it seem each of us lives in a world of ghosts, but then who would be real and who the ghosts and how could we each be real and the rest ghosts and yet you read my words and be real yourself but I am not a ghost typing this. Hmmm. No, it is all a cooperative effort, and no one is a ghost or has any more or less validity in existence than any other. I myself am simply one potential variant of my self at each moment, and that potential shifts through the multitudinous nows. All but the chosen potential is filtered out and I think of and remember myself as a single being, existing in linear time. This is necessary for this state of existence. The conscious mind allows us this filtering and focus to give us this unique experience. So, as I am simply a potential me, a single focus of infinite variations, so is everyone else around me. So, most likely the variations of people I interact with depend quite a lot on my beliefs and expectations both for my own life and experiences, and as to the people in the world, both specifically and vaguely. Thus we meet our own expectations in experience. Again, it is not my will changing you, or yours changing me, so much as the potential selves of each of us that fit within each other's beliefs quite simply and naturally existing together in a world that fits their shared beliefs. Tada. It really makes perfect sense. As natural as water running downhill, the natural flow and balance of things slipping each to each constantly.
So, in my life, I experience a society and people that mirror my beliefs and expectations to me. The more I've felt out of place in this world and society, the more out of place I've become. My ideas of the general mass beliefs have been reflected. My ideas that I hold beliefs and ideas and stances so out of place with the rest have led me to find that experience. The further along I get, the happier and calmer and more at peace with myself I get. But, while still holding my beliefs about people and society as holding such contrary beliefs, I fret some. I haven't felt there to be much chance of me meeting someone with the same beliefs and understanding. And so I haven't. I find a few that are intrigued, some that can put up with my ideas, some that are curious and strive for something, but never to the degree that I do, nor do they see the way. I cannot drag anyone along, I do not have any method to smack them on the head and instill the insights. And so I fear and fret a lonely life albeit one of my own personal enlightenment. And THAT, is a great contradiction. For within this "enlightenment," is the obvious fact that I control my life and experience. So, for me to see myself as gaining these beliefs but being totally alone in them and not being able to find someone that shares my outlooks, to have that companion, and possibly eventually to have someone with similar enough beliefs to hopefully undertake the amazing and overwhelming endeavor of raising a child, a huge undertaking in itself, but to do it in a quite different way, to raise them from the start to understand and see through the misconceptions. To feel and sense the inherent validity and vitality of this existence. To be free of the ever so commonly instilled idea that humans are flawed inherently in one way or another, whether we are told not to trust our desires, our bodies, our conscious mind, our subconscious, our dreams, whatever. To raise a child without these limitations and debilitating beliefs. Wouldn't that be nice. But, until I realize my belief in not finding that, in being alone in this, in being ostracized and excluded quite because of my stepping away from the general beliefs about life, time, health, self, thought, reality, etc etc etc; then I'm not going to find anything but. It's funny to me how it took me so long to recognize that belief and see it for what it is and see its effects. That with all the progress made I held onto that, going, well damn, I'm doing great, but I'm going to be all alone and no one will understand and everyone will think I've straight fucking crazy. I was just going on thinking that idea was just a given, a fact, an aspect of reality; even though the beliefs I figured everyone would think were crazy were that my beliefs effect my reality and experience. Ironic, yes it is. Guess I'll have to work on that one. Always more to see and learn.
So, anyhow, as I wander through imaginings of raising, or being raised to have this sense and belief from an early age, my thoughts and imaginings eventually move out to imagine a world or society, country, etc., where these beliefs are commonplace. How much it would differ, how that would effect things. Which strikes me with the idea of quite intriguing foundation for a piece of science fiction. Much of science fiction and especially "cyberpunk" type works deal with futures of advanced and changed technology. Society alters too of course, but mostly in way of shifted political and economic systems and boundaries. But, the people in the stories are people very much like us, with the same ideas of reality and all that jazz. So, how strange would it be to write a story of a totally shifted mass belief. Now, the story would be jilted in that a shift in mass belief to the extreme I'm speaking of would cause a society and world quite different from our own I would imagine, but I don't want to shift things that far. Just nuances and strange effects. It would be a timeless piece. Not a "it was the year 2136," and in many ways it would sound and feel like the present day. There would be odd bits of unusual technology that would make most readers assume it was set in the future, but what it would really be was more of just an alternate potential society. And, as that society would have a totally different idea of time; it wouldn't really be a future or alternate present. Mwahaha. It'll make more sense in completion.
I only thought of this because I'd been pondering some strange idea of the "Samurai Turntablists." Building these characters in my mind since last night when I was watching Scratch. They may appear in some form in my current piece of writing, but would probably become more prevalent in the other story, now that I have the idea for that story and it stemmed from thinking about them and imagining them setting up their equipment and how they could just travel around and whip out their tables and do sets, but I didn't envision them encumbered by the equipment. So my mind solved that one for me with this vision of assemblers, along the lines of nanotech, but NOT nanotech at all. Something else entirely, that would require a completely alternate concept of matter and the existence and behavior of matter, which led me to an alternate society with beliefs so different they could affect how they interacted with matter itself. Tra la!
Yes, yes I am insanely creative these days. The ball is rolling, and it will keep rolling. I've got to keep these mental steps forward and progress going while keeping my day to day going, but that shouldn't be too hard. It is all going to be changing, but, as long as I don't lose confidence and faith I'll move right along. It makes more sense and I see more evidence of my control and changes I've enacted all the time. The only area I find it hard to see is with Bel, that's why she still gets me all jacked. Because I don't see how I have any control in that situation, how my beliefs effect it, I feel she is outside of that sphere of my reality. But, it's the same deal, it still has so much to do with my beliefs. I've choked myself into a limbo state with not believing it is over and done for good, but not believing she will get back together with me. My beliefs about her are so convoluted it makes me quite loopy and despairing. But, as I move further in my general realizations I see more sense in it all and see what I'm doing. And even it moves forward, and eventually we'll reach a satisfactory outcome, a state of balance and harmony.
Harmony One:: Four Tet:: Pause
The thing with musings like this though, are that they tend to loop back around on themselves to where if I imagine having a child and raising it as such, I move from imagining that child's life and how it would differ from most of ours to imagining myself raising that child and perceiving them externally, at which point we shift from the child's reality to my own, and then the effects on the child, the state of the child's life would be shifted towards my own beliefs.
Now things get really tricky. You start having to question whose beliefs are forming what, whose reality is this? If I say that my beliefs about my child's life would effect the experience of their life, then how can I say I create my own reality, and not that my experience is formed by my parents' or anyone else's beliefs as they watch and perceive me. Hehe, and now things start sounding far more complicated than necessary, and certainly more complicated than they are. Now we play into personal vs. mass beliefs, human interactions, and most of all potential selves and experiences. Now we have to start wondering to what extent we create not just our own reality, but our own world. Obviously we do not exist alone here, we are surrounded by billions of people, all of whose beliefs effect the overall feel and direction and events of the world and humanity. And of course, consciousness is not just relegated to humans, consciousness is within everything, and all effects all. But, it is starting to seem to me that things are in some ways more and more personally controlled. Because of potential selves, and the constant shifting of one potential self to another in the simultaneity of time. As our beliefs change our experience changes. This is most easily seen, experienced, and applied at a very personal level. But beyond that it gets tricky as one can doubt and wonder how much influence they could have over events and experiences involving other people, and their individual wills and beliefs. How could that work? Of course, the others around us are just as simply potential variants of themselves, and chances are, we converge and interact with those potential variants that fit our own beliefs. Which isn't to take away the individuality and free will etc., of all those other people around us. Not at all. See, there's not really any good way to explain this in the hard literalism of the english language. But in essence, it seems to me at this point that it really is that simple. Our beliefs of the world effect the potential world which we exist in and experience, our beliefs about the people in our lives effect the potential variations of these people that we come into contact with. This is not a hard, divided, switching on and off sort of thing. It is something that one must gain a sense for to gain an understanding. "The Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao." And all that jazz.
This can all seem a little startling or threatening. But, it shouldn't, it doesn't threaten the validity of our own individuality or anyone else's. It isn't to say we're alone in our own little world, or that we control the world and everyone in it, though we control the reality and world we live in. Hehe. Not contradictory, really. It isn't to say that the world is full only of people who fit with my beliefs of the people in the world. Not exactly. It is to an extent saying the interactions with these people vary based on our individual beliefs, and to an extent, the people we interact with are varied according to our beliefs, but that is not a matter of one person controlling the status of the others, for who would be controlled and controller? That would make it seem each of us lives in a world of ghosts, but then who would be real and who the ghosts and how could we each be real and the rest ghosts and yet you read my words and be real yourself but I am not a ghost typing this. Hmmm. No, it is all a cooperative effort, and no one is a ghost or has any more or less validity in existence than any other. I myself am simply one potential variant of my self at each moment, and that potential shifts through the multitudinous nows. All but the chosen potential is filtered out and I think of and remember myself as a single being, existing in linear time. This is necessary for this state of existence. The conscious mind allows us this filtering and focus to give us this unique experience. So, as I am simply a potential me, a single focus of infinite variations, so is everyone else around me. So, most likely the variations of people I interact with depend quite a lot on my beliefs and expectations both for my own life and experiences, and as to the people in the world, both specifically and vaguely. Thus we meet our own expectations in experience. Again, it is not my will changing you, or yours changing me, so much as the potential selves of each of us that fit within each other's beliefs quite simply and naturally existing together in a world that fits their shared beliefs. Tada. It really makes perfect sense. As natural as water running downhill, the natural flow and balance of things slipping each to each constantly.
So, in my life, I experience a society and people that mirror my beliefs and expectations to me. The more I've felt out of place in this world and society, the more out of place I've become. My ideas of the general mass beliefs have been reflected. My ideas that I hold beliefs and ideas and stances so out of place with the rest have led me to find that experience. The further along I get, the happier and calmer and more at peace with myself I get. But, while still holding my beliefs about people and society as holding such contrary beliefs, I fret some. I haven't felt there to be much chance of me meeting someone with the same beliefs and understanding. And so I haven't. I find a few that are intrigued, some that can put up with my ideas, some that are curious and strive for something, but never to the degree that I do, nor do they see the way. I cannot drag anyone along, I do not have any method to smack them on the head and instill the insights. And so I fear and fret a lonely life albeit one of my own personal enlightenment. And THAT, is a great contradiction. For within this "enlightenment," is the obvious fact that I control my life and experience. So, for me to see myself as gaining these beliefs but being totally alone in them and not being able to find someone that shares my outlooks, to have that companion, and possibly eventually to have someone with similar enough beliefs to hopefully undertake the amazing and overwhelming endeavor of raising a child, a huge undertaking in itself, but to do it in a quite different way, to raise them from the start to understand and see through the misconceptions. To feel and sense the inherent validity and vitality of this existence. To be free of the ever so commonly instilled idea that humans are flawed inherently in one way or another, whether we are told not to trust our desires, our bodies, our conscious mind, our subconscious, our dreams, whatever. To raise a child without these limitations and debilitating beliefs. Wouldn't that be nice. But, until I realize my belief in not finding that, in being alone in this, in being ostracized and excluded quite because of my stepping away from the general beliefs about life, time, health, self, thought, reality, etc etc etc; then I'm not going to find anything but. It's funny to me how it took me so long to recognize that belief and see it for what it is and see its effects. That with all the progress made I held onto that, going, well damn, I'm doing great, but I'm going to be all alone and no one will understand and everyone will think I've straight fucking crazy. I was just going on thinking that idea was just a given, a fact, an aspect of reality; even though the beliefs I figured everyone would think were crazy were that my beliefs effect my reality and experience. Ironic, yes it is. Guess I'll have to work on that one. Always more to see and learn.
So, anyhow, as I wander through imaginings of raising, or being raised to have this sense and belief from an early age, my thoughts and imaginings eventually move out to imagine a world or society, country, etc., where these beliefs are commonplace. How much it would differ, how that would effect things. Which strikes me with the idea of quite intriguing foundation for a piece of science fiction. Much of science fiction and especially "cyberpunk" type works deal with futures of advanced and changed technology. Society alters too of course, but mostly in way of shifted political and economic systems and boundaries. But, the people in the stories are people very much like us, with the same ideas of reality and all that jazz. So, how strange would it be to write a story of a totally shifted mass belief. Now, the story would be jilted in that a shift in mass belief to the extreme I'm speaking of would cause a society and world quite different from our own I would imagine, but I don't want to shift things that far. Just nuances and strange effects. It would be a timeless piece. Not a "it was the year 2136," and in many ways it would sound and feel like the present day. There would be odd bits of unusual technology that would make most readers assume it was set in the future, but what it would really be was more of just an alternate potential society. And, as that society would have a totally different idea of time; it wouldn't really be a future or alternate present. Mwahaha. It'll make more sense in completion.
I only thought of this because I'd been pondering some strange idea of the "Samurai Turntablists." Building these characters in my mind since last night when I was watching Scratch. They may appear in some form in my current piece of writing, but would probably become more prevalent in the other story, now that I have the idea for that story and it stemmed from thinking about them and imagining them setting up their equipment and how they could just travel around and whip out their tables and do sets, but I didn't envision them encumbered by the equipment. So my mind solved that one for me with this vision of assemblers, along the lines of nanotech, but NOT nanotech at all. Something else entirely, that would require a completely alternate concept of matter and the existence and behavior of matter, which led me to an alternate society with beliefs so different they could affect how they interacted with matter itself. Tra la!
Yes, yes I am insanely creative these days. The ball is rolling, and it will keep rolling. I've got to keep these mental steps forward and progress going while keeping my day to day going, but that shouldn't be too hard. It is all going to be changing, but, as long as I don't lose confidence and faith I'll move right along. It makes more sense and I see more evidence of my control and changes I've enacted all the time. The only area I find it hard to see is with Bel, that's why she still gets me all jacked. Because I don't see how I have any control in that situation, how my beliefs effect it, I feel she is outside of that sphere of my reality. But, it's the same deal, it still has so much to do with my beliefs. I've choked myself into a limbo state with not believing it is over and done for good, but not believing she will get back together with me. My beliefs about her are so convoluted it makes me quite loopy and despairing. But, as I move further in my general realizations I see more sense in it all and see what I'm doing. And even it moves forward, and eventually we'll reach a satisfactory outcome, a state of balance and harmony.
Harmony One:: Four Tet:: Pause