Re: Brown Chicken Brown Cow!likexaxdoveMarch 27 2011, 18:20:44 UTC
and the wrong word can throw everything out and wreck what's been built
You ain't kiddin'.
I think the funniest thing I've read for a guy's precum (I know you don't like that word. Too bad.) is "a bead of cream". I mean...come on now. And then for a girl, it was "petals of a rose". LMAO...I can't. Too serious business.
And yeah, don't like "pussy" either. Too...I don't know. Raunchy?
Re: Brown Chicken Brown Cow!audreyii_ficMarch 27 2011, 18:29:46 UTC
...bead of cream. Right. This is what I mean about writers not knowing what they're talking about. If that's how she'd describe it then her guy needs to see a doctor ASAP.
And petals of a rose is, among othervthings, shit characterization. Unless it's a femslash with superhistrionic chicks. What guy thinks "petals of a rose"? Internal monologue fail.
Re: Brown Chicken Brown Cow!likexaxdoveMarch 27 2011, 19:37:38 UTC
What guy thinks "petals of a rose"?
This reminds me of a scene from Superbad.
Evan: You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site. Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern. Evan: Right, I didn't realize that. Seth: Besides, have you ever seen a vagina by itself? Evan: No. Seth: [shakes his head] Not for me.
(Full disclosure: I *have* seen the wolfthing done effectively, but it waa nearly simultaneous phasing during a Blackwater grudgefuck. So that's different.)
-- Too much cursing. An occasional "fuck" isn't bad since sex brings out your blunt part, right? But when you're describing the sex with too many curses, like using the word pussy when you can also use the, well, more appropriate words. I mean, in this fandom the sex is indeed between teenagers, but even teenagers are capable of a less-than-completely-vulgar speech, even in their heads.
-- Detailed is kind of nice. No, no, not TOO detailed, but when the sex is done in two sentences I'm like "Okay.. that was exciting." *sarcasm hand*. Unless your fic is like that, less detailed (Postcards by Audreyii_fic, for example is just fine
( ... )
If we're talking about the actual act of having an orgasm, then yes, it should be "come", "coming", "came" or what have you.
However, if we're talking about a guy's spunk, then please for the love of god just say "cum". "Semen" sounds too official, and "seed" reminds me too much of a harlequin romance and makes me giggle.
Maybe my standards just aren't as high as everyone else's.
Anyway, about smut in general, I ain't too picky. Just don't use funny words. And a trend that I see pop up a lot that bothers me is young teenagers or young men turning into EPIC DOMINATING SEX MACHINES in the bedroom. LOL NO.
I'll agree on the "cum" instead of "semen"... but only in situations where it's appropriate to the fic to directly name said substance. I generally haven't found that it's necessary to be literal except in fics featuring moneyshots (and not even then all the time), and admittedly once you're in the moneyshot department you're probably already on the more vulgar side of things.
Americans just have ugly sex slang. Try referring to a guy's balls during a lemon and have it be sexy. Nightmarish proposition.
Try referring to a guy's balls during a lemon and have it be sexy.
I thought about this the other day when I was writing Avatar porn (you'd be proud, I can reread it without cringing). Basically you have the choice between "balls" and "testicles". Both are awful.
Balls, testicles, nuts, sack... yeah. There's nothing. There's no noun that doesn't bring the scene to a screetching halt. (You can get away with perhaps one "gently cupped his balls" in a story if you're very careful.) Which means you can't write about said balls which, you know, *do* come into play during the sexual act. Huge limitation. I'm going to learn French or something, I swear.
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You ain't kiddin'.
I think the funniest thing I've read for a guy's precum (I know you don't like that word. Too bad.) is "a bead of cream". I mean...come on now. And then for a girl, it was "petals of a rose". LMAO...I can't. Too serious business.
And yeah, don't like "pussy" either. Too...I don't know. Raunchy?
Reply
And petals of a rose is, among othervthings, shit characterization. Unless it's a femslash with superhistrionic chicks. What guy thinks "petals of a rose"? Internal monologue fail.
Reply
This reminds me of a scene from Superbad.
Evan: You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site.
Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern.
Evan: Right, I didn't realize that.
Seth: Besides, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?
Evan: No.
Seth: [shakes his head] Not for me.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
WHAT??? I had no idea people wrote about that happening!! DNW.
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(The comment has been removed)
(Full disclosure: I *have* seen the wolfthing done effectively, but it waa nearly simultaneous phasing during a Blackwater grudgefuck. So that's different.)
Reply
-- I hate OOC sex. It just doesn't work for me.
-- Too much cursing. An occasional "fuck" isn't bad since sex brings out your blunt part, right? But when you're describing the sex with too many curses, like using the word pussy when you can also use the, well, more appropriate words. I mean, in this fandom the sex is indeed between teenagers, but even teenagers are capable of a less-than-completely-vulgar speech, even in their heads.
-- Detailed is kind of nice. No, no, not TOO detailed, but when the sex is done in two sentences I'm like "Okay.. that was exciting." *sarcasm hand*. Unless your fic is like that, less detailed (Postcards by Audreyii_fic, for example is just fine ( ... )
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WORD.
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(The comment has been removed)
Remember that story i was thinking about writing and you weren't going to judge me about it if I pointed it out to you? Well...
lol. xD
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And I know you would never judge me openly. ;)
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If we're talking about the actual act of having an orgasm, then yes, it should be "come", "coming", "came" or what have you.
However, if we're talking about a guy's spunk, then please for the love of god just say "cum". "Semen" sounds too official, and "seed" reminds me too much of a harlequin romance and makes me giggle.
Maybe my standards just aren't as high as everyone else's.
Anyway, about smut in general, I ain't too picky. Just don't use funny words. And a trend that I see pop up a lot that bothers me is young teenagers or young men turning into EPIC DOMINATING SEX MACHINES in the bedroom. LOL NO.
Once again, my standards...
Leaving this here.
Reply
Americans just have ugly sex slang. Try referring to a guy's balls during a lemon and have it be sexy. Nightmarish proposition.
Reply
I thought about this the other day when I was writing Avatar porn (you'd be proud, I can reread it without cringing). Basically you have the choice between "balls" and "testicles". Both are awful.
Reply
Balls, testicles, nuts, sack... yeah. There's nothing. There's no noun that doesn't bring the scene to a screetching halt. (You can get away with perhaps one "gently cupped his balls" in a story if you're very careful.) Which means you can't write about said balls which, you know, *do* come into play during the sexual act. Huge limitation. I'm going to learn French or something, I swear.
Reply
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