i can not believe that i am writnig in this thing again. so much has happened to me its not even funny,.  was in the army as everyone knows but now i am back home where i belong....for now that is. i am with a great guy,....and no it is not clint. him and  i parted ways back in the beginning of june. i mean i still ove him and a part of me always ( Read more... )

so yea lately my life has been one big caotic ball of hell. i hate what the army has put me through. as of right now i do not think one week has went by that my unit the 554 has not fucked me over. i do not understand how they  can focus all their energy on one person. its like they want to get me on things that they have no proof. its fucking ( Read more... )

ok so lately my life has been a little caotic let me tell you. I joined the Army about five months ago. let me tell you not the right thing to do but i have to live with the choices that i made. I finsished basic training now that was easy and so was AIT but now i am getting ready to finally graduate and move out into the actual Army and i am a ( Read more... )

so yea today is a really really hard day for me it seems like i have been crying all day like everything reminds me of John and i dont know what to do anymore. i mean honestly what is there for me to do?? nothing , everyone just tells me to cope with it and i cant i mean its been 8 months now and i still cry myself to sleep almost every night .and ( Read more... )

alright so i thought that i was over john i mean not completely but i was hoping that all this would get a little better but it seems like things are just getting worse let me tell you. all i seem to think about is him and i compare everything to him. i mean every guy that i like i compare to john and then i end up not liking the guy or i feel that ( Read more... )

ok so the last couple of days were going pretty good i had half days this week cuz of our examsn which was nice.. so i ended up hanging out with C- Bag during those days but last night my parents spazed out on me and said that i was out of the house to much and too long.. now usually you would think that they would want me out of the house but no ( Read more... )

so today was Kevins baptism and of course i had to watch the boys in church but i was expecting that so it really did not bug me that much. it wasnt that bad for me the party was fun kinda i got to see some family that i have not seen in like forever so that was good now onto other news. i got am IM from Brian the other day he wants me to call him ( Read more... )

OMG!!!!  they caught the guy that killed John I am so excited to hear that you have no idea how happy that makes all of us. and from what i hear they beat the shit out of this guy but he is still living but barely so yea i thought that maybe some of you would want to know the good news anyways today i am suppose to go up to his grave and have a ( Read more... )

alright so heres to another year..woohoo i am excited let me tell you what...i am finally getting things right where i want them... i met a new boy well actually he is not a new boy but i have not talked to him or seen him since i was in 10th grade..im not sure if i am really ready for a relationship again this soon but i will only know if i try ( Read more... )

well today is the one month anniversary since John was killed, and man has this day sucked really bad let me tell you its like i have felt drained all day, i dont want to do anything or go anywhere its weird. man it still doesnt not feel like it is real. i still expect him to get on line one of these days and talk to me like he use to, but that  is ( Read more... )