Welcome to the Sam Winchester's Shirts are Overrated Newsletter!
In this edition:
Sam Winchester's Shirts: An Overview
Welcome fellow oglers!
We're four episodes into season 7, and so far there is a tragic lack of shirtlessness where Sam is concerned.
However season 7 DOES deserve some praise for a bold new direction in single layers. Lay your eyes on this:
Even Sam knows he looks good! Here he says: 'eh...EH? What say you now, ladies and gents?'
Here's the thing. While I DO appreciate the noble effort to clothe Sam in only ONE layer, we have ample evidence that proves even one layer is too much.
Since the beginning we've known this!
in season 1 Sam stepped out of the shower and we all collectively gasped for the first time. Little did we know that this adorable little puppy:
Was hiding THIS underneath his many, many layers of clothing:
Even the armadillo presented itself! What else was it to do in the presence of such powerful manliness?!
This was the first instance of no shirt > all other shirts
In season 2 we saw some fantastic shirts:
and:
What? Don't tell me you don't remember the episode where Sam & Dean went undercover as mechanics-- that one was AWESOME!
but...we also learned that Sam has even more muscles than we ever thought possible:
(and also that he likes to growl and bite during sex)
once again no shirt > all other shirts
After changing into our asbestos panties for the next season we were SORELY disappointed when the writer's strike ROBBED us of more shirtlessness!
However, we did get this:
which gave us the equation Sam + blood > Sam without blood
and gave me a lady-boner
Moving on to season 4 we saw GREAT improvement in shirts.
Our first glimpse of Sam is in this shirt:
This shirt is paperthin and thus my initial gasp upon seeing Sam was not in fact 'OMG it's Sam!', but rather 'OMG that SHIRT is so THIN and HOLY CRAP HE GOT BUFF!'
oh season 4, I love you so much, for so many many reasons:
and because, as we learned in season 3, Sam + blood > Sam without blood and it gives me a lady-boner
Then came season 5. You were the season that could have been 1,000 times more fantastic had you NOT DELETED A FRIGGIN SAM SEX SCENE!!! WHO DOES THAT?! SERIOUSLY???!!!!!
Even Sam is shocked!
'Why didn't you at least put my beautiful shirtless bod on the DVDs you selfish people!!'
I know Sam, I know.
Sera felt bad about this, which is why in season 6 she gave us this:
Sera still loves us, I know she does, therefore I have faith that she will provide again!
Have faith my fellow SWSAO-ers!
There will come again the day when our eyes behold the truth beneath the fabric!
That's all for this edition! Please let me know if you'd like to be a
contributor to our worthy and important cause! If you have any further
Sam Winchester shirt related topics that require investigation please
don't hesitate to bring them to my attention!
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