Let's Play Pretend - Chapter 23
Title: Let's Play Pretend
Genre: Romance, fluff, slight angst
Pairing: YunJae
Summary: Jung Yunho finds himself stuck in a fake relationship with another man when he is very much straight and is secretly dating a very famous actress.
Prologue I [ 1] [ 2] [ 3] [ 4] [ 5] [ 6] [ 7] [ 8] [ 9] [ 10] [ 11] [ 12] [ 13] [ 14]
[ 15] [ 16] [ 17] [ 18] [ 19] [ 20] [ 21] [ 22]
A Right Kind of Wrong
***
"Any reason why you're in my bed?"
A twinkle of fondness showed in Yunho’s eyes as he studied Jaejoong's face--the way his small teeth toyed with that plump lower lip as he thought of an excuse was doing all sorts of crazy to Yunho’s heart. As much as Jaejoong was unpredictable, when it came to Yunho, most of the time, he was as easy to read as an open book.
"Well?" the corners of Yunho's lip curved upward observing the way Jaejoong’s eyes flickered in thought.
"I was... sleepwalking," he persuaded with a deadpan expression.
Yunho hummed noncommittally. His smile lingered showing how much he was entertained by the other's quirks. He tightened his hold when Jaejoong tried to wriggle away. “Is that so?”
“Yes. Now I should be getting back to bed," Jaejoong pushed himself up only to be pulled back down again.
“Oh my, sleepwalking shouldn’t be taken lightly.” Yunho sounded concerned but the small smile on his lips suggested he knew more than he let on. “I don’t think it’s safe to let you sleep alone. You’re staying here.”
Jaejoong looked at him with a stupefied expression. Yunho struggled to suppress his grin as he could guess Jaejoong was probably mentally face-palming for saying something stupid that further drove him into a corner.
Jaejoong frowned seeing playfulness in Yunho’s eyes. “You’re making fun of me,” he said struggling against the firm hold but he got pulled by the neck back to Yunho’s chest.
“Never.” Yunho whispered lovingly as he buried his face into the mop of hair. Warmth enclosed him entirely as if being cocooned in a feeling of contentment that only being with the other could bring.
The silence stretched between them almost to the point of comforting but Yunho could feel how tense Jaejoong was. He let his hand rub soothing circles along Jaejoong’s back until he felt him relax and loosen up completely.
“What do I have to do to make things right again?” he whispered, lips grazing Jaejoong’s neck as he spoke. “I miss you. I miss holding you like this.” Not exactly expecting a reply, he nearly missed Jaejoong whispering something to him if he weren’t paying close attention.
“Why?”
“You’re seriously asking me why?”
Jaejoong slightly pulled away to stare into his eyes like he was seeking for truth in them. His voice was low, and insecure as he asked, “Why do you want me back after all those awful things I did? Are you trying to get back at me, Yunho-yah? Is that it?”
“What?” Yunho could see sincere doubt that he was deeply stricken to know the other thought that way. “No, why would you even think--” Jaejoong was quick to avert his eyes rejecting any of Yunho’s words before he could even finish.
“Jaejoong-ah?” Yunho grabbed Jaejoong’s face compelling the man to look at him. Only when those dark eyes stared piercingly back did he continue to speak. “It’s because I love you and I want to be with you. Shouldn’t that be reason enough?”
Jaejoong bit his lip feeling Yunho’s thumb brush along his cheek. For a second Yunho thought Jaejoong was going to pull away again but instead rested his cheek back on Yunho’s chest.
He knew Jaejoong was crying the moment he felt warm liquid slid down his neck. "Jaejoong-ah..."
It was the affectionate call of his name that broke the dam. Jaejoong’s voice was muffled as he sobbed a jumble of words into Yunho's neck, some of them Yunho could barely understand.
“I-I’m s-sorry. I was mean to you... I-I... I’m sorry for being selfish.”
“Ssh. I know, baby. I know. And I’m sorry, too.” He rubbed his nose against the smooth patch of skin, inhaling the lovely scent that triggered sweet memories.
Yunho rolled to his side, shifting Jaejoong to him so they were facing each other. His hands immediately cupped Jaejoong's face and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips. They stared into each other’s eyes for a long time, just basking in the moment until Yunho found his voice again.
"You must be tired after today.” Yunho started dumbly. “Do you want to sleep here with me?”
He did not miss the flash of uncertainty in those wide eyes and a swirl of emotion he couldn't tell. Yunho panicked realizing how that question must have insinuated.
“I mean not sleep, like sleep with me, but you know, like really sleep... and just... yeah, sleep.” For a short dreadful moment, Yunho thought Jaejoong would say no until he heard a faint whisper, and saw him crack a small smile.
"Okay."
Yunho’s face instantly lit up like a light bulb, happiness showing so bright it would have blinded anyone. He hugged Jaejoong closer, whispering to his ear how much he truly love him, how much he missed him, and just how crappy and empty his life was in the couple of days they were apart. And with the way Jaejoong was holding him back like he couldn’t breathe and live without him, Yunho understood his words were finally getting into the other’s heart.
Yunho was engulfed by that warm feeling of holding someone so precious that he felt his heart skip a beat. That kind of feeling as he looked Jaejoong in the eye, he realized what he’d been living for. And as those lips melded together with his, the rest of his life flashed right in front of him in a form of only one person--Jaejoong. His soul’s other half.
That night, as they shared unhurried kisses, Yunho felt all that... and more.
Jaejoong was a little awkward in the following morning, but after Yunho’s incessant hugs and kisses, he’d eventually warmed up to the thought of them finally getting back together. Yunho could tell that Jaejoong was trying to bring normalcy back into their relationship so he turned a blind eye to some things he’d been noticing... things that he’d rather not entertain for now.
They were still on the bed, Jaejoong cuddled to Yunho’s side who was idly flipping from one channel to another. His thumb froze from switching when Soojin’s face appeared on the screen. He felt Jaejoong shift uncomfortably.
Yunho frowned in confusion watching the broadcast of the earlier press conference. “Jaejoong-ah, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I don’t understand. I thought she was taken out of the movie project?”
Jaejoong fiddled with his fingers as he spoke. “I didn’t really send out the files. I only wanted to scare Soojin and get her off my back.”
Yunho peered at Jaejoong’s guilt-ridden eyes, confusion written all over his face. “You didn’t? but there were reporters that have seen her.”
“Shirota purposely lured some of his friends over there. But under my strict conditions, he had to tell them later on that it was false info he heard just in case the situation got out of hand. And because they didn’t have any proof to go with the article, in the end it was all just speculation that was not worthy to be on print and get sued for.”
Yunho nodded, intertwining his fingers with Jaejoong’s, encouraging him to open up to him. It was a good start for them. “I see. Wasn’t it a bit dangerous to involve an SM rep, though?”
“Oh, Junho.” Jaejoong smiled. “He’s actually not... he’s a choreographer in SM. We made him use a fake business card to make it a bit convincing.”
Yunho laughed a little despite himself. “I’m not saying I condone any form of blackmail, but you’re one crafty little thing. Remind me not to get on your badside again.”
A little too soon, Yunho believed, when Jaejoong didn’t laugh along with him. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s alright.” Jaejoong nodded with a contemplative look. He gazed deeply into Yunho’s eyes, his face overflowing with sincerity.
“I need you to understand something.” He paused, taking a deep breath looking as if he was about to dispose a huge load off of his chest. “The vindictive, selfish part of me wanted to mail those files to just get it over with... but I didn’t. Because I don’t want to be that kind of person anymore, Yunho-yah.”
“I was so close to breaking and almost losing what’s left of the compassion in me, but the thought of you was what held me back from committing any more selfish mistakes that I would have regretted.” He whispered, leaning his head against Yunho’s shoulder.
“It’s one of the reasons why I love you. You make me want to be a better person.”
“I’m glad.” Yunho dropped a kiss on Jaejoong’s forehead as he held him closer. “And just for the record, you don’t have to change anything for me. I love you no matter how insane you are sometimes. I think I even caught some of your crazy.”
“You mock me.” Jaejoong frowned at him.
“What?” Yunho chuckled, poking Jaejoong’s side.
“See, you’re making fun of me again!”
“What did I tell you?” Yunho nuzzled their nose together.
Jaejoong’s lips curved into a small smile. “Never.”
“Damn right.” Yunho whispered before pulling Jaejoong in for a very sensual kiss. “It’s our last day. Do you wanna go somewhere?”
“I think I’d like it better if we spend it here.” Jaejoong shyly suggested.
“Oh.” Yunho grinned, pinning Jaejoong under him. “That works for me, too.”
And they spent the rest of the day memorizing the curve of each other’s body, making up for lost time.
***
They drove back to Seoul the next day. Yunho didn’t think much of it when Jaejoong refused to stay over at his place to spend a little more time together for he reasoned that he had a lot of work to catch up on.
It must have been a little presumptuous on his part, Yunho admitted, that just because they’ve both agreed to give each other another chance, everything would instantly go back to the way it was. Maybe he miscalculated on that part, but when a week later and Jaejoong still hadn’t seem to adjust, Yunho was beginning to feel worried. He’d honestly expected more progress between them by now.
Yunho went straight to do a photoshoot in the afternoon, finding Yoochun waiting for him in the dressing room.
“So, how are you two doing?”
He asked with genuine concern that Yunho just had to answer with a worry of his own.
“I believe we are okay.” Yunho sighed. “Did Jaejoong tell you anything else though?”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s nothing.” Yunho waved a hand. “He’ll drop by in an hour. Let’s get to work. I gotta finish early.”
Maybe he was just imagining things, or maybe, it was just him being a little paranoid, but he could tell that there was something different.
He was still shooting with another female model when Jaejoong walked in looking amazing in his low leather boots, denim tight jeans, suede blazer jacket over a white top.
Yunho didn’t miss how Jaejoong’s eyes darken every time her body got a little too close for comfort. And when he met Yunho’s eyes, he blinked, immediately replacing whatever it was with controlled calmness.
He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he could tell Jaejoong seemed restrained and cautious around him. Even the way he laughed was lacking-which troubled Yunho extremely because his Jaejoong was carefree, and had the brightest laugh he’d ever heard in his lifetime.
Yunho tested his luck and tried talking to Jaejoong when they were in bed that night. Fingers carded through Jaejoong’s blonde hair, his head tucked under Yunho’s chin.
“You know you can tell me whatever it is.” Yunho sighed. “I can’t help but notice you looking worried all the time.”
“Just tired.” Jaejoong told him, casually brushing him off.
Yunho decided to let it go, thinking that maybe Jaejoong would tell him when he was ready to talk about it.
***
Jaejoong’s rich laughter pulled him out of his reverie. It wasn’t meant for him. He was at the studio waiting for Jaejoong who was currently talking with Seunghyun inside the recording booth, discussing about the song they were working on together.
“Yunho-yah.”
He looked up, a bit startled. Jaejoong spoke into the mic, waving at him through the glass.
He waved back.
“5 minutes.” He said apologetically.
Yunho gave a thumb up; a gesture that expressed the exact opposite of how he was feeling. He was far from OKAY. He wasn’t okay with the way Jaejoong was laughing and smiling at someone else while he remained aloof and nearly stoic with him. It was only when they were under the sheets together, making love, that Jaejoong would be so needy... deprived, driving Yunho to think that Jaejoong needed something more from him.
It was driving him crazy. He wished he could guess what was troubling Jaejoong so much. He must have been dead to the world that he didn’t notice Jaejoong approach him. A soft nudge to his shoulder and a kiss to his lips brought him back to the world of the living.
“Let’s go.” Jaejoong said, pulling Yunho up to his feet.
Yunho tried nonchalance as they walked inside Jaejoong’s apartment. He pulled up a chair and seated himself as he watched Jaejoong prepare dinner. “That Seunghyun guy seem to really like you.”
“Because I’m a good friend.” Jaejoong answered dismissively, his head poked inside the fridge. “Do you want anything to drink?”
“Water is fine.”
His eyes followed Jaejoong’s movement as he placed a glass of water on the table before turning his back to prep vegetables on the counter.
“I’m just saying you might want to ease up on the flirting.” Yunho then quickly said that suggested he wasn’t ready to drop the subject yet.
“I wasn’t flirting.” Jaejoong still had his back to Yunho as he replied which sounded overly calm to Yunho’s ears.
“Well it looked like it from where I was sitting.” Yunho insisted, his patience running thin, and his heart hurting. It pained him that Jaejoong didn’t seem to care about what he was feeling.
Jaejoong stilled. He faced Yunho, lower back propped against the marble counter. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you. But if it makes you feel any better, I’m telling you he’s just a friend. I don’t like him that way.”
“If it makes me feel better?” Yunho shook his head in disdain. “Maybe it would have when you start looking at me like I still mean something to you.”
Jaejoong looked at him with surprised eyes. “Yunho-yah, what brought this on?”
Yunho pinched the bridge of his nose to ease the pain and to stop frustrating tears from falling.
“You mean everything to me. I wish you’d believe me when I tell you that.” Jaejoong moved towards him, reaching for the clenched fist on the table.
“Then tell me what’s wrong!” Yunho jerked his hand away, accidentally tipping the glass over.
Yunho’s eyes widened when he saw the panic and unmitigated fear in Jaejoong’s eyes. Putting two in two together, it hit him. The situation was so raw and familiar. It was agonizing to see the way Jaejoong looked at him as if he was expecting this conversation to end with Yunho walking away from him again.
Yunho promptly pulled Jaejoong’s shaking form to him, enclosing him in a secure hug as he whispered words, drilling them into Jaejoong’s mind until he’d never doubt him again. “I’m here, baby. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you.”
Yunho sighed, gently rocking their bodies from side to side.
“I’m being a jealous prick, aren’t I?”
“Yes, you are.”
“It’s the thought of you finding happiness in someone else that scares the hell out of me.” He whispered into Jaejoong’s hair. More than jealousy, it was fear that he felt.
“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.” Jaejoong mumbled, calming down in the embrace as he heard his own insecurities in Yunho’s words. “I’ve been too busy wallowing in my own self-pity and worrying about the same thing that I’ve completely forgotten how greatly it would affect us both.”
Yunho grabbed Jaejoong by the thighs lifted him up until the blonde was seated on the table, then moved himself until he was trapped in between Jaejoong’s legs.
“You know that you mean the world to me, right?” he whispered, eyes locked with Jaejoong’s. “That I’d give anything to make you happy?”
“I-I know, I know that.” Jaejoong’s breath hitched. Yunho could feel him tremble in his hold as he fought back the tears from spilling. “But sometimes... when I’m with you, I get this feeling that I don’t have enough to give. I’ve been feeling inadequate, as though loving you just isn’t enough.”
Yunho was astonished, seeing doubt clouding those warm, beautiful eyes that spoke so much uncertainty.
“You’ve been beating yourself up with these silly thoughts?” He held Jaejoong’s face in between his hands when the other tried to look away.
“I’m so scared to get hurt again, Yunho-yah.” Jaejoong’s lips trembled, his arms snaking around Yunho’s neck. “I constantly fear that you’ll wake up one morning and realize you don’t want me anymore then go run back to her.”
“You shouldn’t be thinking that.” Yunho left small kisses on Jaejoong's cheek and noticed him shiver with every brush of his lips. “Soojin and I did love each other, but it’s gotten to the point where we stayed together just for the sake of saving our relationship.”
“What you and I have... it’s incomparable. I’ve never felt this strongly towards anyone, Jaejoong-ah. We have to trust each other if we want to make this work, okay?”
“Okay.” Jaejoong nodded, eyes looking a whole lot brighter.
“Having you with me is more than enough. You...” Yunho paused, letting the kiss linger on Jaejoong’s lips. “...are more than enough.”
“Really?” Jaejoong had that special glow in him and wore an unrestrained smile that Yunho missed so much.
“Mm-hmm, really.”
“Then show me,” he whispered against Yunho’s lips.
The spark of lust and love in Yunho’s eyes was all the response Jaejoong needed. He definitely was more than glad to.
- Next [ 24 ]
A/N:
I had to get that out of the way before the makeup smex. gaahd, I’m so happy I’m done with this part. So emotionally draining. huu. Let me know what you guys think of this chapter. >:D I'll take note of those who have been commenting since the first few chaps. I'll make a pdf for you guys to download once LPP ends. My simple way of thanking you for still being here. ^^,