This week is going to be a week of big change. I will try to enter school, and get a job. I'm not just saying that, I mean it this time. I know that I mean because when I feel that if I don't do it now, then I wil be absolutely fucked. I need to stop waiting till this point. Most people don't, but I don't feel the proper motivation unless I feel ( Read more... )

Yesterday was kind of interesting. I was at a meeting and my friend Louvell brought her friend to the meeting. He introduced himself not as an addict, but just by his name. I thought him an earth person. We talked after the meeting and I shared with him my experience. I told him about how I moved to Miami to get clean, and then he started to relate ( Read more... )

I went to SoHo lounge for spider-pussy and to Pawn Shop on Thursday. It was a lot of fun, except for a couple of moments of uncomfortablility. The first was when I wanted to start dancing, but I was nervous because I was sober. All it took to get over it was Red Bull and the Postal Service. That shit gives you wings. The second time was at Pawn ( Read more... )

It has been a while since I've updated, but here goes nothing. Last week I was in a funk. I wouldn't call it depression, but more like frustation at myself. It got to it's worse on Thursday. I haven't seen Vivi since she got out of residence which at that point was like two weeks. That week I tried as hard as I could to get a hold of her short of ( Read more... )

You know when I have a subject like that I am fucking up. Dave didn't sleep at home, but decided to leave his alarm on anyways. Waking my ass up at 7:30. With that as justification I proceeded to go back to sleep at around 10. In my dream I was watching the Gators play against Tennesee, and it was really cool. Unfortunatly I woke up just as the ( Read more... )

Here is the first part of my first step ( Read more... )

I wanted to apply at Urban outfitters, but they are hiring managers not peons. I am also having difficulty finding the gumption to do everything I have to do for school today, which sucks. I definetly need to get that done before the end of the week. Thing is I know that weeks go by quick after Monday. I stayed up too late again last night, but I ( Read more... )

Today was my last day of treatment, and boy was it eventful. This kid in my small group has a problem with me because of my "smart ass remarks". So, in small group I told him that he really needs to look at himself if he is going to get it and stay clean, and that I'm concern for him. The reality is that I'm concerned that he doesn't like me even ( Read more... )

This weekend was kind of rough. My sister came down from Tallahassee, which was a good thing. The problem is that my mom sets up expectations for how she wants things to be, and thus she tries to be controlling of the situation. I in turn get frustrated, and I revert to my old habits of manipulating, complainging, and making this all around more ( Read more... )

My friend Chloe from high school grew up and became a suicide girl. This is an example of what she does for a living:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOBjjqW93iU