This morning I had a strange dream. It was a using dream about heroin. Specifically it was a dream of my first time shooting up. Mind you I have never shot up heroin, but the whole thing was very very vivid. From the pinch of the needle to the feeling of the heroin. My friend Dave was in the dream, and he is a pure Alcoholic, but apperantly he was ( Read more... )

It's bad when people you know relapse. It is worse when it is your roommate and he is high on crack when I'm in the same room ( Read more... )

My sponser asked me to write this ( Read more... )

4th of July sucked. Krysti has fallen off the planet, and for the moment I desire nothing of Vivi. My sponser told me "There are no such thing as 'bad days' just good learning days". Well Monday and Tuesday were learning days. My friend relapsed on Tuesday, but he came back, and seems to have more resolve this time ( I hope). Ever since I got my ( Read more... )

Independence day is the baine of my existence. My car would be done by tomorrow if it weren't for that damn holiday. They should work on it anyway. Don't they know who I am? Anyways, my car won't be ready till Wednesday, and it's frustrating ( Read more... )

I moved out of my original 3/4 way house on Friday. That place was a piece of shit. Everything was dirty and nobody cleaned, plus I had no cable in my room. Normally that isn't a big deal, but the other houses (where they pay the same amount as me) have on demand cable in their rooms, oh and they keep their houses clean ( Read more... )

I got out of residential on Monday. The transition to "the outside" has been kind of rough. I feel like an injured baby animal that is use to being feed and cared for that was just released back into the forest to fend for itself. I chose a 3/4 way house that where nobody that I knew in residential chose to go because I want to be more self- ( Read more... )

As of now I've been in South Miami Hospital Addiction Treatment Center for 38 days. This is by far the greatest experience I've ever had. I've been in intense therapy, and I have been learning about myself and the disease of addiction. Disease is defined as a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal ( Read more... )

Today Bobby told me that Mike got accepted to UF. This bums me out because I'm going to be leaving here after the Summer. Gainesville would have been much better with one of my great friends here to go out and drink with. No offense to my current drinking partners (Nikke and Bobby), but it kind of sucks to go out only to come home at 1. I know the ( Read more... )

is no longer half time. I'm not talking about the Rolling Stones. I'm talking about the terrible sadness of the fact that I can't watch it because I will be working for the Man. What pisses me off is that my Boss knows how big of a football fan I am. I'm considering not going, but that might get me fired. I'm just not sure of hown concerned I am ( Read more... )