I am emotionally and physically exhausted, I just want the drama to end this is so stupid, but then that is my life. Had a super long conversation with Melissa, and I feel alot better about things, I have been heaping more responsibiliy on my shoulders than was necessary, and trying to direct the lives of others because my own life was out of ( Read more... )

can I just say how tired I am of being blamed for everything that has gone bad in peoples lives, today my fiancee' basically blamed me for all of the crap going on in the apartment. Apparently I am responsible for Melissa moving out with katie, and us eventually having to move because of it. I am supposed to apologize for kicking katie out when ( Read more... )

This morning, about ten minutes ago, I was sitting in quiet reflection and smoking a cigarette, I looked up just in time to see a glint of sunlight and a red balloon. Now I don't know why it happened at that moment or if it means anything, but for some reason it gave me a warm feeling, like everything is going to be alright. I feel exceptionally ( Read more... )

These last few days I have been in a state of absolute misery, I was depending on people to validate me and my existence. Yesterday I did something really stupid, and although I feel really stupid for doing it the out come of it enlightened me to my problem. Friends are a full time involvement and I have woefully neglected mine, by wallowing in ( Read more... )

I have lost my best friend, I behaved like an idiot today due to anger and ruined a friendship. I don't have an excuse for my volatile actions and I am not going to make any, I am, However, going to admit to being a part of one of the dumbest arguments in the history of my friendship with said person. I can only hope that at some time in the ( Read more... )

This has been the third worst year of my life thus far, something has got to give, I have tried to be positive and put a good face on things, but I can't do it anymore. I am trying to decide if I should move back to Utah or Vegas, I really can't stand to be here anymore. The problem is I love all the friends that I have made here and don't want ( Read more... )

I just spent the last 10 minutes writing in my journal, just to have it erase itself, so I will do this one more time. Lately I feel like I am not necessary to the men in my life, both my best friend and my fiancee' are taking me for granted, and quite frankly I am tired of it, this is probably not the forum to bring this up but I need to vent. ( Read more... )

Well the holidays are over, and boy howdy am I glad. I tried the no smoking thing, lasted about 15 minutes, the reality is I need help, medical help that is. In the next few months things are going to be changing for me, I have set goals that I made a promise to myself that I would keep, and to all of my friends I send out the S.O.S, I cannot ( Read more... )

to one and all of my friends on this holiday season, I have never had as good a christmas as I had this year, nor have I ever felt so loved. This would have been my baby girls first christmas and I was a little down, but the love from my friends helped me get over that hump, again I don't think I tell my friends that enough, how much they mean to ( Read more... )

In the last few days all of my friends, old and new, have opened their arms to me and shown me a love that, for a while, I was to steeped in depression to see and I just want to say thank you to the big guy upstairs for putting me here with these people ( Read more... )