House of Trouser, 2.03
Last time around, Ursual and Jerry had their Golden Anniversary party, at which she frolicked in the hot tub with Logarithim. This of course caused much drama, but was easily fixed with some friendly water balloon fights.
Ursual: That was some damn good lovin' I got. Who was it with again??
Jerry: Was there something I ought to be worrying about?
Yet another midnight popping session. Yes, that said POPPING. Not POOPING.
Again with the eating of rotten food, Ira? I thought you gave that up after college!
Alfred! Go back to your own story! I'll play you soon enough! Even if I have to make those bandages myself!
In case you're wondering, that's a llama, not a penis with ears.
They're so adorable :)
After thinking long and hard about it, Bree finally defriends her mother, over the whole sleeping with her father thing.
Ira: That was a rocking party! I had a great time! It really went off!
Ursual: Uh, thanks?
I had something in my downloads that kept crashing my game when I went upstairs, so while in the process of going through my downloads, this happened. That is a naked Ursual with a statue coming out of her butt. I have NO idea what all those statues are from, but damn, it amused me.
It also took Bree's body away for a while. OOPS.
Poor Henry, hidden in the corner by the BreeBot.
Jerry: Bitch has no class.
But one game of kicky bag later...
and one heartfelt apology...
Jerry: Well, she did give me three great babies...
Looks like he's forgiven her!
Bree: I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!
Bree and Ira are happy they have another baby, Jerry is happy he has Henry, and Ursual is a bit shocked because she saw more of her daughter than she wanted to see.
Ursual: WHY did I have to see that? Where is the brain bleach when you need it??
Bree: Uh, guys?
Twins. AGAIN. Both girls this time. This one is Skye.
And this one is Kerry. They have Ira's skin, Bree's hair, and eyes from both. So different to the other two!
I think four babies is enough! I only need one heir.
So Ira and Bree settle into having babies again, while Jerry and Ursual get way too comfortable on Bree and Ira's bed.
WAY too comfortable.
Guys, I'm glad you're back in love and everything, but, BOUNDARIES. Please don't be screwing in their bed!
Okay, okay, you're still cute. I'll let it slide this time. Next time - BAD MAKEOVER.
They still recognise each other, which is a good thing, considering how old they are.
Bree comes home from work MAD. MAD I tell you.
She's not just mad, she's mad at herself. She hates herself. Why? Because her mother slept with her father. As in, Bree's father, not Ursual sleeping with Ursual's father. It isn't that sort of family. Besides, Ursual has no parents!
I guess Bree just loves her stepfather to bits, and got mad about THIS bout of cheating, because it brought up all those horrible memories from when she was a kid.
Seeing your parents woohoo in the hot tub does that, I guess.
But it's birthday time again, so that takes her mind off of it.
Stretchy kid!!
I love that she aged up into this outfit.
Charlene's cute!
And so is Henry!
Uh, guys? The kids have moved on, people have taken cake. You're just a little slow there!
Surprisingly, Henry and Charlene adore each other, though their first interaction as kids is to belt each other with pillows, so their fondness of each other may not be so obvious.
Henry quickly learns some of the family's traditions, including staring at people as they're on the toilet.
Henry is all class.
And Charlene is far too interested in the anatomical workings of horses.
Bree: If you don't let me win, I'm gonna tell you what your grandmother did with the handcuffs.
Charlene: *loses immediately*
BreeBot chooses to recharge...in a snow storm. Is that wise? It sure looks pretty :)
Ursual: They better get me some damn flowers when they stick me out here.
Sitting in your underwear, in the graveyard, as it snows, will surely help you get there sooner!
Go put some clothes on!!!
Whoot whoot!
Though maybe I should get a better one of Bree. Hmm.
And he sounded pretty damn good!
I love that he has the goth underwear, while Charlene has normal stuff. He keeps his dark side hidden, she puts it out on display!
Charlene doesn't quite get that the lemonade should go IN the cups.
Bree is still full of self loathing.
But that doesn't stop her from being the first customer. Charlene had been sitting out there for ages, poor thing.
Yay! A real customer!
It's not your fault your parents had sex, Bree! You didn't even know about it! No one told you what had happened, why are you so upset about it??
All of Ursual's kids are mad at her for THIS round of infidelity, so she tries to win them back over, starting with Jared, but he's not in the mood for her petty gossip.
Besides, he's heard it all before!
But after some begging, apologising, bad jokes and flattery, Jared comes around. One down, two to go!
Alien nanny comes back, even though she's been fired several times, though it might just be so she can pick on the BreeBot again.
BreeBot: I am so mad I am pointing a crooked finger at you!
Alien Nanny: *is scared*
Yet another family member who likes to go out in the snow in their underwear. I'm really surprised they haven't all dropped dead!
Ira: What did your mother do with the handcuffs?
Jerry: *silently freaks out*
Charlene: You really don't wanna know, dad!
Ira: But I DO want to know!
Charlene: Well, it had something to with Grandma dancing,
Charlene: And Grandpa giving her money.
Ira: *is scared* So...how about that local sporting team?
Because the alien nanny was so hot, I decided to age her down and make her a townie. Bree was too wrapped up in self loathing to notice.
Love the hat!!
NOT.
Yet another person dressed appropriately for the weather.
But she is HOT. Even if she is a cranky bitch.
Woo!
Uh, rightio, then Joe. Why did you go for a swim? Is that a normal part of membership?
Why is Bree all dressed up, I hear you ask?
ALIEN HEADMASTER VISIT! LOL! Yet another alien pops up in town.
He's a cranky old fart, too. I'm not sure I want the kids going to a school where the headmaster has obvious anger issues!
Jared's still a little pissed at his mum. But he likes her again. He's just confused. But since he's a spare, it doesn't really matter.
Jerry: Who the hell is this green guy, and why is he drinking my coffee??
That green stink cloud in the back is NOT from Ira's rear, he's just putting dishes in the dishwasher. I SWEAR.
Whoot whoot! Two LTW's down. But you are NOT getting a third. She wants 50 first dates, just like Jerry. NO.
Yay! And the kids haven't even gone to any school as yet, because they aged up on a Friday.
You're scary when you're happy.
I went looking around the house to see what people were up to, and found these two outside...mopping the SNOW.
Ok, so nanny #2 who drowned has been out and about and making puddles...but it's the middle of winter and there's SNOW everywhere! I don't think it matters if there are puddles!!
That just looks so damn painful. And check out that back fat!
I love that he still had a great party, despite his wife cheating on him TWICE during it.
Stop blaming the babies! They definitely hadn't been born when you died!!
Speaking of babies, it's time for the girls to grow up.
Bree is now onto hating her mother.
WTF Jerry?? Bree hadn't used the cake yet! He took it away before she could age the kid up.
But she could still use the other one, so it wasn't a total loss.
You know, it really helps if you're keeping an eye on the kid as you're throwing them into the air, Bree.
Because you caught Kerry, I guess it's ok.
Looking stoned already, there, Kerry.
But you're cute, so I'll forgive you.
Skye's a cutie, too. Yay!
While Ira certainly enjoys watching his wife have a sponge bath, I just hope that's NOT the same sponge they use on the dishes.
Why she couldn't use one of the two empty showers or the empty tub is beyond me.
Ursual: OMG NAKED LADY IN THE KITCHEN!
Bree: *deathglare*
Ursual: *backs away slowly*
Ira: I'm trying so hard to be all casual about my wife being right there and naked but I can't think of anything at else!
Not even your arm going through her ass?
Because turnabout is fair play, Bree enjoys the show.
Ursual: There's ANOTHER naked person in my kitchen!
You know, for someone who's done the deed in public numerous times, she really is a prude.
Ursual: I swear I didn't mean to look at his junk, but it was right out there!
Ira still can't keep a thought in his head, despite Bree being dressed now.
Oh, Ira. You could've picked a better time to try to cook.
And why is Ursual checking out Bree's tits??
There is all sorts of wrong here.
After much apologising, flattery and lame jokes, Bree starts to like her mother again, but she still hates herself.
A lot.
Ira takes the staring game up to a new level.
You get that from your mother.
They finally start school! Looking snazzy in their uniforms.
Uh, hi replacement alien nanny that I definitely didn't order.
Skye is a very angry child. VERY.
oops! But they had enough money to spare for it.
No one was thrilled with their B+s. These kids sure do expect a lot!
Jerry and Henry adore each other, and are always playing and hugging autonomously. It's so sweet :)
And these two play together autonomously a lot, too. A family who likes each other!
Bree: Do you know what that kid of mine did?
Bree: I heard that she killed...
Bree: The nanny! Drowned her til she was DEAD!
...wut?? How did Charlene kill the nanny?? And why aren't you more upset about this? I mean, REALLY! It's kind of a big deal!
Ursual: Well, do you know what your son did?
Ursual: He got into private school!
Bree: ...that's all you've got? My daughter killed the nanny!
But that's ok, sharing gossip about the children bring them closer together.
Bree: I have no idea what to do with these two.
See? I found them like this.
And I found them like this.
Henry looks like he's enjoying it WAY too much.
You're not really a member of the family until you leap through solid walls.
Henry: Ugh!That water was freezing! It's so cold here! Wait...where am I?
Henry: Don't you ever flush while I'm in the shower again! D'ya hear me??
Charlene: *smustles*
These two have clearly worked out their issues. I couldn't see them, so when I went looking for them, I found them here.
Kerry isn't so happy either.
Uh, hi there gardener. Why are you going swimming (in the middle of winter) when there are still weeds for you to get rid of?
Woo!
Day two of school brings home the A+ grades. And are they excited? NOT. AT. ALL.
Henry: Damn, I really am that good!
Charlene brought this kid home from school, and started playing with him all by herself. If I didn't know better, I'd say she had more than one nice point.
Your wife can't fit inside the letterbox, you dill.
It's a snowman party!
One of these things is not like the other...
And what do you think that might be?
Previous updates
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