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itchy brain
I find myself in a place where struggle and complacency live as inmates. Neither do I feel comfortable with my achievements nor do I know what outcomes I truly desire. I think back to times when simplicity was my goal and I sought to enjoy the moment for what it’s fleeting worth. Today, ambitions get the best of me and each day is a see-saw of task ( Read more... ) -
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Haci me encuebtro en revolve. En tragedia, e realizcion que los pensamientos y costumbres de ayer, hoy estan lejos. y en su puesto encuentro confusion y mysterio. haveces la claridad de un viejo, que tras todas sus experiencias desifra datos y eventos importantes. En torno, a veces como un nino indefenso y con falta de voluntad, falta de animo ( Read more... ) -
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Hindered by nothing and enthralled by that which is set before me, I hike on mountains not to steep to grip. Up valleys down cascades to serenades of strange creatures lurking in unseen places. I keep the river on my right and think not of fright, since earthly posessions and past life regressions are beyond my simpleton explanation.
On the chariot ( Read more... ) -
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Arabesque flames, white on white. -
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A feeling of disorientation, a fog disguising that which lies before and ahead. A sense of frustration and abandon. Feelings of detachment and apathy. Not good.
Only when "on stage" performing do i feel unbothered. Money consistently dwells on my thoughts and more and more i feel like a salary slave.
But the alternatives i do not understand or ( Read more... ) -
Realization.
Though surrounded by the pressure of making uncomfortable decicions I've been overcome by a feeling of peace. Or more accurately a realization that what I seek is not happiness--I seek peace. I think the realization that my current stress is only temporary leads me to see that the concept of happiness is only all too similar, it is but another ( Read more... ) -
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small cube compartments shft around my insdes allowing hot viscous syrup to fill ther hollow cores. a sensaton of two magnets seperated by a thin membrane, unable to fully connect. Until, at last, the thin membrane wears thinner still and a slow electric flow reconnects the estranged objects. -
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time has elapsed and the surreal quality of being back is starting to yield to a normalized routine. one that i'm not entirely comfortable with,since it is quite a bit leisurely. with the state of my employemnet still undecided, i'm not comfortable with just hanging out It seems that even the taks of banal job provide me with tnough purpose to feel ( Read more... ) -
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training ground ( Read more... ) -
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made the decision to leave. to move back in with the family, expecting epiphany. instead, it feels like a minor move in a chess game and the endgame still looms in mystery awaiting me to stumble and get a fleeting glimpse.
Nevertheless, the move seems necessary and only time can tell whether the sacrifices will come to any worth.