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I Want Out...
I know people tell me I can only get out of life what I put in but I mean really I want out of it half the time now. Everything in my body hurts like mad. I got left yet again. My parents seem to believe I can do no right. This sounds so emotional right now but its what I believe in so I have to say it. If I do not I'm going to bottle up everything ( Read more... ) -
Edwina...
I want to restrict so so so badly now. I've done less exercise than I have in the past couple of days and I regret not doing as many sit ups. My stomach is a mess. I look at it right now and I feel so shameful and gross. The Edwina voice told me today that people at my work were starting to take notice of my gained pounds. I hate this insecurity I ( Read more... ) -
I Lived My Life....
In therapy today we did this whole body image story today. I know that it seems absurd but I wound up crying my eyes out(and on the day I did my makeup too...) Completely figured out that I really do keep people at a distance and the reason why I have such low self esteem is due to abandonment at such an early age. After that I really figured it be ( Read more... ) -
I Saw Her...
It was so strange seeing her today. For the first time in years a decade even I saw my first or second depending on how you count it best friend from my elementary school days. The days before I really became a screwed up mess. The days where I actually deserved things because I hadn't corrupted myself beyond help ( Read more... ) -
Lacking the Updatage
I'm sorry that I haven't updated in quite awhile it's just there's been nothing really to report in my life until now. My birthday's coming up and I think I know what I want to do for said party. I think I want to have a costume party in a park some where either here in Glendale or around Fullerton. Preferably it would be held on my actual ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Thanks for the new icon Twinlovin( I hope I spelled that right). I am really happy that I now have something to show my Billie Joe love. -
Wanna Hear Something Funny?
Okay so I went to the health center again for like the millionth time since I've been here. I swear those people know me better than some of my other doctors. Anyways I went because I had been feeling pretty much like shit recently. So I go and I ask the nurse what can I do right now to get better. She said one of the funniest things I think I can ( Read more... )
