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My Stomach
Why doesn't it go away? Why does this insecurity about my body not leave me already? How can I still feel so wrong for eating some extra veggies and not doing a ten to eleven mile walk today? My stomach feels bloated and I fear that I look like a cow to everyone out there ( Read more... ) -
They Are Never Going to Get It
Some things are just lost on certain people. Like my mother and father. They will never understand the idea that an nos diagnosis in the eating disorder community is a stigma of sorts. I even tried to explain it to him and he just blew me off saying shouldn't I have been glad that I was not that bad at one point to have an nos versus anorexia ( Read more... ) -
They Were Picking Up Pieces of Me....
I just heard this line in a song by Placebo off their new cd. This was a subject I was about to sort of post on. I mean I was playing with my nails and it angers me how much damage I have done to myself as a result of my eating disorder. The nails are so weak because of this condition, my skin needs healing, and my hair has seen better days. I mean ( Read more... ) -
ALA.....
I had some good times and some not so good experiences at this con. But anyways.... I have a song regarding something...
"You Oughta Know"
Alanis MorissetteI want you to know, that I'm happy for you ( Read more... ) -
Concert and Concerns
KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas.....was amazing. Even though Stone Temple Pilots started off strong they lost me somewhere in the middle of their set for about a song or two. They then picked me up again. I think the best part of the night besides seeing THREE DAYS GRACE perform was when the security just gave up during The Offspring and let us ( Read more... ) -
Actually Productive Tomorrow and Almost Acoustic Christmas
Okay so best news! I got a ticket to the first night of KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas 08!!! Going to see Three Days' Grace in person! I just hope that I can manage a pit ticket some how... That'd suck to not get that close to them like that. Anyways tomorrow I have plans before work starts to get registered on the bone marrow registry... Yippie ( Read more... ) -
My Pain...
Pain
Three Days GracePain, without love ( Read more... ) -
Fires and Funerals
Okay so the fires are not getting any better. Bleh and bleck. Anyways tomorrow I'll be heading out to Ojai for the Rosary for my grandfather. Then on Tuesday I'll be doing the funeral and hopefully a bit of work the same day. I need to pack tonight and finish up my poem. Plus I also have to get on this whole sponsorship thing sooner or later. I ( Read more... ) -
I Work a lot
I am happy that my work has finally given me some reasonable hours but i am very worn out. I am wondering if me being here a lot again is going to lead me down a path i went down once before. It concerns me especially because these two coworkers of mine are awesome and it would suck to loose them. that or make things weird. -
R.I.P Francis Shields
My grandfather died sometime between today and late Monday night. I don't have any grandparents left. I feel really numb right now. I'll probably write more when I feel something and I don't feel like such a shitty granddaughter for not feeling anything more than, "oh, he's gone."
Jesus christ what fuck upness has this year turned out to be?