I've never been more than the biggest fool loving you. I've never been treated as more than a tool to be used. All I ever wanted was one chance, to show you who I am, to speak, to love, to simply be... Alone with you. And I was never worth it. Never. You told me that you loved me. And I've only ever wanted was to see it. To be shown that you felt ( Read more... )

Self-annihiliation becomes the means for transcendence and liberation.

I give up.

I've become a ghost of my previous self. I miss what used to be my personality.

i feel like i have a railroad car driving over and crushing my ribs, causing my lungs to take in too little oxygen to function, and plowing through my throat until it is irritated enough to close up. i feel as though a million little insects are crawling all over my skin and hours of scalding hot water does not get rid of them ( Read more... )

i feel like i'm drowning.

i want to get rid of this journal. i want to get rid of every past journal.

i want to get rid of everything.

what's the point? i disgust myself.

( Read more... )

when the ones that you love, unconditionally, kick you when you are down, you come to realize that those people were never deserving the effort and love you gave to them.

but unconditional love means that you can't just walk away. it doesn't matter how horribly they hurt you, lie to you, use you, destroy you, once the anger from actions leaves, the ( Read more... )

She died.