[ILC/023] As Long As Time Permits
Title: As Long As Time Permits
Pairing: Kimin (Kibum/Sungmin)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU!Romance
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, SME does. Plot is mine.
Summary: Some grudges can be held for years. Some feelings, longer.
Warning: UN-BETA'D!
"I think if you just asked, we could have avoided this."
Kibum side-eyed Sungmin from the drivers seat, clutching the wheel tightly in his palm as he flipped on the signal to merge into the far right lane. Speedily. “Why didn’t you ask?” He retorted, stepping on the gas pedal a little harder.
“Because I’m not the one driving,” Sungmin stated simply. “Plus, I thought you knew your way since you’ve lived here all these years.”
The smirk that suddenly spread across Kibum’s face should have been a fair warning. Should have been. “I coincidentally found you and picked you up off the streets, so, I could just kick you off the car right now but-”
“What are you doing?!”
Kibum reached over and grabbed Sungmin’s hands, pulling them over to the wheel. Sungmin had a total panic attack when Kibum let go of the wheel entirely, maintaining the pressure he kept on the gas pedal.
The frantic boy held a death grip on the steering wheel.
“Now you’re the one driving,” Kibum remarked, “so, ask for directions.”
Sungmin groaned loudly. “This is dangerous! Stop it!”
“Just because you moved away after high school does not give you the privilege to assume I’ve been living here ever since,” the boy stresses with a accusing tone.
All Sungmin could do was straighten the wheel with his eyes intently on the road. “Stop the car,” he demanded, “stop the car or take the wheel back.”
“Are you going to ask for directions?” Kibum rose a brow.
“Fine! I’ll ask for the damn directions,” Sungmin scowled, afraid to take his eyes off the road. He was in an awkward position, leaning over the gear shift, with his shoulder shoved slightly against Kibum’s arm.
Kibum nodded. “Okay then.”
When the younger boy finally took control of the wheel again, Sungmin punched him very hard in the side. “You’re the dumbest idiot I’ve ever, ever met,” he hissed between his teeth. “Why would you even do something like that?!”
“Because I like it when you’re panicking,” Kibum grinned, despite the pain. “I used to like seeing you panic, when we were in school together; when we were together. It’s been so long.”
Sungmin wondered why they were still friends after all these years; after the long gap they spent apart, after witnessing all of Kibum’s antics and psychopathic sense of humor back in the days when they were still just kids.
He doesn’t remember much aside from those facts, actually. All he remembers was that there was once such a friend - and more than a friend Kibum eventually was - that he had, and how he had regretted making this friend.
Not really, though.
“I hate you,” was all he could manage to say after his heartbeats had calmed down. It was enough. “After all these years, I still do.”
The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Sungmin contemplates whether or not it’s his fault.
It’s not - not entirely, at least.
-
“Sungmin!”
At the beckon of his name, Sungmin swirves around to be greeted by the most familiar face to him. “Donghae!” He smiles, extending his arms in gesture for a hug. The boy name Donghae crashes into his chest, and they share the longest, most suffocating hug.
“It’s been years,” Donghae laughs, his eyes wrinkling at the ends, “where have you been?!”
Sungmin shrugs. “Around. You know, travelling. What I always wanted to do.”
“I thought you just liked to run away,” Kibum commented from the side.
Donghae shifted his eyes to the younger man. “Kibum! How are you?!”
“Hyung, I saw you last weekend,” Kibum rolled his eyes.
“Did you?” Donghae frowned. “I don’t really recall... Why didn’t you tell me you were going to pick up Sungmin? I would have went with you!”
Kibum crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s exactly why.”
Sungmin was surprised by Kibum’s reply. Donghae, on the other hand, just smirked knowingly.
“Right. Of course.”
It was sort of like a game of mouse and traps, Sungmin thought. All of the classmates had changed so much since their high school days, ten years ago, that he wasn’t sure what his boundaries were.
All he knew was that, of all the people, Kibum was the one that was easiest to set off, yet, he was the one Sungmin was most at ease with.
“So, I hear from a certain big trap-mouth that a certain someone still has a certain crush on a certain Sungmin.”
Sungmin clears another shot, grimacing as the alcohol stings his throat in just the right way. “Shut up, Ryeowook.”
“You never change,” Ryeowook laughed as he ordered a cocktail for himself.
The older boy smiles warmly and drapes an arm over Ryeowook’s shoulder. “Neither do you.”
“And I’m glad,” Ryeowook nods. “Really though, I just had a talk with Donghae hyung. He tells me Kibum still has a thing, or two, for you.”
Sungmin sighs. “After what he did to me in high school? I don’t think so.”
“Stop holding grudges like a girl,” Ryeowook scoffed.
“Stop looking and talking like one,” Sungmin countered.
Ryeowook bit back his smile - he shouldn’t be laughing at an insult aimed towards him. “It’s been, like, ten years, hyung. At least forgive him for what he did.”
“No,” Sungmin bit his bottom lip. “I don’t want to.”
“But hyung-”
Sungmin sighed. “Just drop it, Ryeowook. I don’t feel like talking about it.”
“Fine,” Ryeowook pouted. He emptied his cup of cocktail and stood to his feet. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be talking to Kyuhyun and Shindong hyung while you sulk over some non-existent anger you have.”
“Okay,” Sungmin nodded.
Ryeowook stomped his foot - kicking Sungmin’s bar stool in the process - and stalked away.
Finally, a moment of silence.
“Look who’s all by their lonesome.”
Sungmin tensed at the recognition of the voice, turning around. “Hyukjae?”
“The one and only,” Hyukjae laughed. They engulfed each other into a hug, embracing each other so tight they thought they’d die. “So - not that I was eavesdropping or anything - but I hear you’re still angry at Kibum.”
“Shouldn’t I be?” Sungmin bit his inner cheek.
Hyukjae shrugged. “Should you?”
“Why do all of you only ever talk about Kibum to me?” Sungmin groaned. “I’m so sick and tired of hearing his name, of seeing his face, of being around him ever since my first step back onto south Korea grounds.”
The other boy chuckled, taking Sungmin’s shot and downing it in one go. “That’s ‘cause you care too much.”
Sungmin stared at him blankly.
“How much does Kibum mean to you, Sungmin?”
“Nothing,” Sungmin replied with a straight face.
Hyukjae rolled his eyes. “Let me rephrase: Honestly, how much did Kibum mean to you?”
Sungmin shrugged.
Hyukjae smirked. “I’m on your side, Sungmin. If you’ve still got it deep for him, you might as well just put your past behind you. He’s trying, Min, he’s trying so hard to make up for it. Can’t you tell?”
“What do you know?” Sungmin puffed out a cheek. “I mean, you’ve only been here less than five minutes and-”
“I apologize for being late,” Hyukjae interjected.
“-and you didn’t even see him in the car! He didn’t give a living crap about me!”
“What do you mean?”
Sungmin rose his hands in the air. “He grabbed my hands and forced me to take the wheel! And he just let go - he let go of the wheel! I could have died! And then he had the guts to say that he liked to see me all riled up-”
“Panicking,” Kibum corrected.
“Right, panicking! He said he liked-” Sungmin paused to find Kibum standing beside him.
“Go on,” Kibum encouraged, “why don’t you just keep talking about me behind my back?”
Hyukjae shook his head with a smile. “Hey, long time no see.”
“Yeah,” Kibum nodded, looking to the side. “It’s been a while.”
“What’s with the hostility?” Hyukjae laughed. “I gave up on Sungmin years ago.”
Kibum parted his lips to reply, but swallowed his words. He cleared his throat. “Sungmin, could I talk to you for a second?”
“N-”
“Sure thing,” Hyukjae grinned. “I’ve got to go see my other buddies, anyways. He could use some company. I’ll see you two later.”
Sungmin reached out, trying to hold Hyukjae back. Hyukjae slipped away from his grasp and shrugged at him with an apologetic expression.
“So, I heard you’re still mad at me about the notebook of yours I burned.”
“Did you?” Sungmin frowned.
Kibum nodded. “That I did. Can’t you just forget it ever happened? I apologized and bought you a new notebook, it wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“It had everything in there. It was my life. You wouldn’t understand,” Sungmin closed his eyes. “My plans, my observations, my journals, my-” he paused.
“Your love letter,” Kibum finished for him. “If I remember correctly, it was addressed to a Kim Jongwoon or something. The senior. God, he was weird. And that notebook was ugly. You should have been glad, I did you a favor by burning that thing.”
“Just go away, Kibum.”
Kibum took a deep breath, straightening in his stool. “If he had found that letter, he would have been disgusted. Really, it was a good thing I burned it.”
“So I wrote a love letter. Big deal. Would you get over it? I had a crush on him, Kibum-”
“And the whole world knew - no, the whole world knows I have a thing for you, too,” Kibum retorted, “your point? That didn’t get me anywhere.”
“You never confessed!”
“If I had confessed, would you have said yes?!”
“What? Of cour-” Sungmin caught his tongue before he finished the claim.
Kibum smirked. “But I thought you had a crush on that Kim Jongwoon.”
“I liked his voice. Everyone has crushes,” Sungmin mumbled, “but crushes and first love’s can’t even compare.”
“First love?” Kibum smiled, looking down at his hands.
Sungmin glanced at Kibum, and then averted his gaze to the clock on the wall. “Yeah, first love.”
“First loves never quite go away, do they?” Kibum tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling.
The older boy shrugged. “No, I guess they don’t.”
Before the clock could strike another second, Sungmin felt a warm palm cradle his cheek. His eyes meet with Kibum’s dark, longing ones.
Ten years. Ten long, long years.
“I hope this next moment lasts forever,” Kibum whispers, “because this is what I’ve always wanted to do.”
Just as Sungmin prepares to ask the question, Kibum silences him with his soft lips. It was the first kiss they ever shared, the first moment of truth between the two of them.
Struggling for oxygen, mingling breaths, fingers tangled in silky hair, voices strangled in the back of their throats, bruised lips, the constant need for more. It had taken them too long to get to this point and all their needs, their wants, their desires, had been bottled up inside - exploding like a popped helium balloon.
The moment doesn’t quite last forever, but it’s as close as it can get.
It’s as long as time permits, and all they have now is time.
-----
To read kendayawind's Kimin, click here!
-----
[ILC22: Eunhae] ♦ [ILC24: Hanchul]
-----
A/N: This sucks, really bad, okay? I'm sorry. -_-; It's Kimin, and I can't write Kibum... what do you expect? ;A; Thanks for reading!
Check out our collaboration community raw_decision
Pairing: Kimin (Kibum/Sungmin)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU!Romance
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, SME does. Plot is mine.
Summary: Some grudges can be held for years. Some feelings, longer.
Warning: UN-BETA'D!
"I think if you just asked, we could have avoided this."
Kibum side-eyed Sungmin from the drivers seat, clutching the wheel tightly in his palm as he flipped on the signal to merge into the far right lane. Speedily. “Why didn’t you ask?” He retorted, stepping on the gas pedal a little harder.
“Because I’m not the one driving,” Sungmin stated simply. “Plus, I thought you knew your way since you’ve lived here all these years.”
The smirk that suddenly spread across Kibum’s face should have been a fair warning. Should have been. “I coincidentally found you and picked you up off the streets, so, I could just kick you off the car right now but-”
“What are you doing?!”
Kibum reached over and grabbed Sungmin’s hands, pulling them over to the wheel. Sungmin had a total panic attack when Kibum let go of the wheel entirely, maintaining the pressure he kept on the gas pedal.
The frantic boy held a death grip on the steering wheel.
“Now you’re the one driving,” Kibum remarked, “so, ask for directions.”
Sungmin groaned loudly. “This is dangerous! Stop it!”
“Just because you moved away after high school does not give you the privilege to assume I’ve been living here ever since,” the boy stresses with a accusing tone.
All Sungmin could do was straighten the wheel with his eyes intently on the road. “Stop the car,” he demanded, “stop the car or take the wheel back.”
“Are you going to ask for directions?” Kibum rose a brow.
“Fine! I’ll ask for the damn directions,” Sungmin scowled, afraid to take his eyes off the road. He was in an awkward position, leaning over the gear shift, with his shoulder shoved slightly against Kibum’s arm.
Kibum nodded. “Okay then.”
When the younger boy finally took control of the wheel again, Sungmin punched him very hard in the side. “You’re the dumbest idiot I’ve ever, ever met,” he hissed between his teeth. “Why would you even do something like that?!”
“Because I like it when you’re panicking,” Kibum grinned, despite the pain. “I used to like seeing you panic, when we were in school together; when we were together. It’s been so long.”
Sungmin wondered why they were still friends after all these years; after the long gap they spent apart, after witnessing all of Kibum’s antics and psychopathic sense of humor back in the days when they were still just kids.
He doesn’t remember much aside from those facts, actually. All he remembers was that there was once such a friend - and more than a friend Kibum eventually was - that he had, and how he had regretted making this friend.
Not really, though.
“I hate you,” was all he could manage to say after his heartbeats had calmed down. It was enough. “After all these years, I still do.”
The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Sungmin contemplates whether or not it’s his fault.
It’s not - not entirely, at least.
-
“Sungmin!”
At the beckon of his name, Sungmin swirves around to be greeted by the most familiar face to him. “Donghae!” He smiles, extending his arms in gesture for a hug. The boy name Donghae crashes into his chest, and they share the longest, most suffocating hug.
“It’s been years,” Donghae laughs, his eyes wrinkling at the ends, “where have you been?!”
Sungmin shrugs. “Around. You know, travelling. What I always wanted to do.”
“I thought you just liked to run away,” Kibum commented from the side.
Donghae shifted his eyes to the younger man. “Kibum! How are you?!”
“Hyung, I saw you last weekend,” Kibum rolled his eyes.
“Did you?” Donghae frowned. “I don’t really recall... Why didn’t you tell me you were going to pick up Sungmin? I would have went with you!”
Kibum crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s exactly why.”
Sungmin was surprised by Kibum’s reply. Donghae, on the other hand, just smirked knowingly.
“Right. Of course.”
It was sort of like a game of mouse and traps, Sungmin thought. All of the classmates had changed so much since their high school days, ten years ago, that he wasn’t sure what his boundaries were.
All he knew was that, of all the people, Kibum was the one that was easiest to set off, yet, he was the one Sungmin was most at ease with.
“So, I hear from a certain big trap-mouth that a certain someone still has a certain crush on a certain Sungmin.”
Sungmin clears another shot, grimacing as the alcohol stings his throat in just the right way. “Shut up, Ryeowook.”
“You never change,” Ryeowook laughed as he ordered a cocktail for himself.
The older boy smiles warmly and drapes an arm over Ryeowook’s shoulder. “Neither do you.”
“And I’m glad,” Ryeowook nods. “Really though, I just had a talk with Donghae hyung. He tells me Kibum still has a thing, or two, for you.”
Sungmin sighs. “After what he did to me in high school? I don’t think so.”
“Stop holding grudges like a girl,” Ryeowook scoffed.
“Stop looking and talking like one,” Sungmin countered.
Ryeowook bit back his smile - he shouldn’t be laughing at an insult aimed towards him. “It’s been, like, ten years, hyung. At least forgive him for what he did.”
“No,” Sungmin bit his bottom lip. “I don’t want to.”
“But hyung-”
Sungmin sighed. “Just drop it, Ryeowook. I don’t feel like talking about it.”
“Fine,” Ryeowook pouted. He emptied his cup of cocktail and stood to his feet. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be talking to Kyuhyun and Shindong hyung while you sulk over some non-existent anger you have.”
“Okay,” Sungmin nodded.
Ryeowook stomped his foot - kicking Sungmin’s bar stool in the process - and stalked away.
Finally, a moment of silence.
“Look who’s all by their lonesome.”
Sungmin tensed at the recognition of the voice, turning around. “Hyukjae?”
“The one and only,” Hyukjae laughed. They engulfed each other into a hug, embracing each other so tight they thought they’d die. “So - not that I was eavesdropping or anything - but I hear you’re still angry at Kibum.”
“Shouldn’t I be?” Sungmin bit his inner cheek.
Hyukjae shrugged. “Should you?”
“Why do all of you only ever talk about Kibum to me?” Sungmin groaned. “I’m so sick and tired of hearing his name, of seeing his face, of being around him ever since my first step back onto south Korea grounds.”
The other boy chuckled, taking Sungmin’s shot and downing it in one go. “That’s ‘cause you care too much.”
Sungmin stared at him blankly.
“How much does Kibum mean to you, Sungmin?”
“Nothing,” Sungmin replied with a straight face.
Hyukjae rolled his eyes. “Let me rephrase: Honestly, how much did Kibum mean to you?”
Sungmin shrugged.
Hyukjae smirked. “I’m on your side, Sungmin. If you’ve still got it deep for him, you might as well just put your past behind you. He’s trying, Min, he’s trying so hard to make up for it. Can’t you tell?”
“What do you know?” Sungmin puffed out a cheek. “I mean, you’ve only been here less than five minutes and-”
“I apologize for being late,” Hyukjae interjected.
“-and you didn’t even see him in the car! He didn’t give a living crap about me!”
“What do you mean?”
Sungmin rose his hands in the air. “He grabbed my hands and forced me to take the wheel! And he just let go - he let go of the wheel! I could have died! And then he had the guts to say that he liked to see me all riled up-”
“Panicking,” Kibum corrected.
“Right, panicking! He said he liked-” Sungmin paused to find Kibum standing beside him.
“Go on,” Kibum encouraged, “why don’t you just keep talking about me behind my back?”
Hyukjae shook his head with a smile. “Hey, long time no see.”
“Yeah,” Kibum nodded, looking to the side. “It’s been a while.”
“What’s with the hostility?” Hyukjae laughed. “I gave up on Sungmin years ago.”
Kibum parted his lips to reply, but swallowed his words. He cleared his throat. “Sungmin, could I talk to you for a second?”
“N-”
“Sure thing,” Hyukjae grinned. “I’ve got to go see my other buddies, anyways. He could use some company. I’ll see you two later.”
Sungmin reached out, trying to hold Hyukjae back. Hyukjae slipped away from his grasp and shrugged at him with an apologetic expression.
“So, I heard you’re still mad at me about the notebook of yours I burned.”
“Did you?” Sungmin frowned.
Kibum nodded. “That I did. Can’t you just forget it ever happened? I apologized and bought you a new notebook, it wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“It had everything in there. It was my life. You wouldn’t understand,” Sungmin closed his eyes. “My plans, my observations, my journals, my-” he paused.
“Your love letter,” Kibum finished for him. “If I remember correctly, it was addressed to a Kim Jongwoon or something. The senior. God, he was weird. And that notebook was ugly. You should have been glad, I did you a favor by burning that thing.”
“Just go away, Kibum.”
Kibum took a deep breath, straightening in his stool. “If he had found that letter, he would have been disgusted. Really, it was a good thing I burned it.”
“So I wrote a love letter. Big deal. Would you get over it? I had a crush on him, Kibum-”
“And the whole world knew - no, the whole world knows I have a thing for you, too,” Kibum retorted, “your point? That didn’t get me anywhere.”
“You never confessed!”
“If I had confessed, would you have said yes?!”
“What? Of cour-” Sungmin caught his tongue before he finished the claim.
Kibum smirked. “But I thought you had a crush on that Kim Jongwoon.”
“I liked his voice. Everyone has crushes,” Sungmin mumbled, “but crushes and first love’s can’t even compare.”
“First love?” Kibum smiled, looking down at his hands.
Sungmin glanced at Kibum, and then averted his gaze to the clock on the wall. “Yeah, first love.”
“First loves never quite go away, do they?” Kibum tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling.
The older boy shrugged. “No, I guess they don’t.”
Before the clock could strike another second, Sungmin felt a warm palm cradle his cheek. His eyes meet with Kibum’s dark, longing ones.
Ten years. Ten long, long years.
“I hope this next moment lasts forever,” Kibum whispers, “because this is what I’ve always wanted to do.”
Just as Sungmin prepares to ask the question, Kibum silences him with his soft lips. It was the first kiss they ever shared, the first moment of truth between the two of them.
Struggling for oxygen, mingling breaths, fingers tangled in silky hair, voices strangled in the back of their throats, bruised lips, the constant need for more. It had taken them too long to get to this point and all their needs, their wants, their desires, had been bottled up inside - exploding like a popped helium balloon.
The moment doesn’t quite last forever, but it’s as close as it can get.
It’s as long as time permits, and all they have now is time.
-----
To read kendayawind's Kimin, click here!
-----
[ILC22: Eunhae] ♦ [ILC24: Hanchul]
-----
A/N: This sucks, really bad, okay? I'm sorry. -_-; It's Kimin, and I can't write Kibum... what do you expect? ;A; Thanks for reading!
Check out our collaboration community raw_decision