Sometimes I think I'm dreaming. But it's a good dream and I don't ever want it to stop. It's the longest Ant and I have been together without a fight. I think. And this open relationship things seems to be working well.

I realised that I don't want him to promise me anything, because it may not be a promise he can keep. And it's the same thing with ( Read more... )

Despite everything, I think I'm becoming used to this job, along with every thing it entails. No, it's not quite the same as actually loving the job, but I don't think of it as half as bad as I used to. And I think the parts where those used to come from were largely because I was afraid of Ant's disapproval. With that safely out the way, I don't ( Read more... )

I miss him. I don't know how that's possible after what he did. Okay, screw that, I know I wouldn't be able to do anything else. But this is fucking ridiculous. Even after the cheap owl he hired nearly crashed the place down and tried to take my eye out when I tried refusing to accept the letter. I know I'm still miffed by it, but I don't think I ( Read more... )

Son,

it has long been past the time for childish impudence. Your prescence is required back at the manor, as your mother undoubtedly wishes. If I were you, I wouldn't risk generations worth of inheritance on petty pride. Whatever greivances you think you've suffered should have worked its way out of your system by now. I expect you back by the ( Read more... )

I'm feeling so happy. I never thought it was possible to feel the way I do now. Having a home. Our home. It still feels kind of strange, thinking about it this way. The furniture's arrived, and now that everything's in place, I have to say that I'm quite pleased with the final effect. It's very... classy. In a way. I especially love the blue lights ( Read more... )

 
I'm so happy I can barely speak. I just spent the whole hour fucking Ant. Okay, admittedly, he fucked me twice, and I fucked him once. But then there was the night before, right on till early this morning. And he agreed to move in with me! I was so worried he'd disapprove of it somehow, I know how he gets when we do anything vaguely gay. I mean, ( Read more... )

I can't forget the look he shot me just before he walked out of the door. Utter loathing. I hurt him. I hate myself for it. But I just don't know what to do anymore. I've blamed Amara about something like this before, and here I am being a fucking hypocrite. Okay, so he has a daughter. There's nothing wrong with that! Only, he doesn't want her. And ( Read more... )

I don't know what to make of this. I'm nervous, because I don't know how this is going to change things. I don't like the idea of anything changing. It was fine, until his friends came along. I knew it was only a matter of time, but it shouldn't have to be. It's our problem, no one else has to know about it.

And now this, general public affair. ( Read more... )

( Private )

I was so angry... I was so angry I just lost it. All that he said. Was it really just an act? To get me to crawl back to him because he missed what we had together? And then when he gets tired of it he'll try something like what he did again? What they were talking about... I refuse to think the worst of Ant, but it's not hard to, given his track ( Read more... )