I remember multi-colored construction paper, crayons, pencils, glue sticks and scissors. I remember sitting indian style on the floor for hours with these things spread out like a forest floor in fall surrounding me. There was no harsh judgments on our art work..they were all masterpieces in our minds. The prejudices of years had not taught us to ( Read more... )

I've wondered...how I would feel when people I have been so intimate with start having children knowing full well I may never have that experience myself. I've always thought indeed that I would feel the bitterest sort of jealousy. After learning of some news last night I am astounded at my own serenity of manner. To know someone you once ( Read more... )

I think all too often we forget that the most simple of moments may in fact be our best dreams come to life and our most cherished memories for years to come. These moments are fleeting and often involve people and places that we never may see again. We hold them so close to our hearts that I think we push them to the far reaches of our memories ( Read more... )

I hate these moments in time. I hate how you can feel yourself slipping. That old penchant to be self destructive almost seems easier then the fight for a good life. Does the weight of existence ever ease up? Do the tragedies and sorrows mixed with the joys ever balance out? There are times when the overwhelming melancholy fills you up and you ( Read more... )

I had a dream last night that made me wake sweating with my hands clutching at the bed as tight as they could. I was standing underneath a thread bare covering that was held up by some weak aluminum pools that were pushed into the sand of the beach in a huge rain storm. The little shelter did little to protect me from the rain that poured in ( Read more... )

I'm not sure how to feel right now or what I can feel. I cry in sudden bursts just to stop suddenly dry eyed and sober. My mom called me today and in her usual rambling way finally came to her point. She asked if I was sitting down such was the news she had to impart. Through the many threads of the internet she was directed to a page on the ( Read more... )

I've thought for many years that people don't change. I'm starting to revise that thought though. When I examine myself I find that the person I was even a single year ago seems so different to me. The relocation from CoMo to Cali served as more then just a physical move it really became a vehicle for change of self. I was a complete disaster ( Read more... )

It seems at every year at this time the reflective nature of memory becomes abundant. I think back to friends lost and friends gained and the different paths I've taken on my journey thus far. Sometimes I feel a yearning for the life I once had but, solemnly know that change was an inevitable ingredient. Even now I know the lives that I affected ( Read more... )

I'm already thinking past X-mas at this momento. I always am dissapointed with New Year's for some reason or another but, this year oh no it shall be different!!! Grrr...I shall have my way. Every year I look for something interesting and end up opting for staying in. I am happy to say I've found a better way to ring in the New Year:-) Because ( Read more... )

We can't change the past... you know it, I know it..everyone knows it but, my question is can you mend the past? Can we rectify our image in the eyes of another after our actions have somehow created a mark against us? Where do you start when the offended won't even talk to you...when they treat you like more like a stranger on the street. I'm ( Read more... )