http://video.yahoo.com/watch/4486085/12025267

I'm so tired lately. So ridiculously tired. I am trying to get organized so I will feel like I have a bit more control in the infinite chaos, but the procrastination in me is well making it harder. I know I'll get there because I have this way of making it impossible to put anything off forever. I just wait till the last possible moment. I am so ( Read more... )

There is something ominous about October 13th. I can't explain it...maybe because All Hallows Eve is nearing and the number 13 has so much associated with it. Today it takes on a new meaning for me. It is the anniversary of my father's death. To clarify that is my biological father Chris who died in 1999. All I know is that he had Queen ( Read more... )

So it's about time for an update. I'm in school again. I'm taking baby steps and going for my associates first. Right now I'm a criminal justice major. Once I get my associates I will probably change to environmental science. This is all in a long term goal to become a park ranger or something in that venue. I know it sounds off the wall but, ( Read more... )

Looking back now I see the years of self suffering I lived in growing up. It took along time to let go of existing that way. It's so easy to stay in that manner of living when after a while it becomes what's safe. I was ultimately Ms. Melancholy through a majority of my teenage thru early twenties. I threw myself into destructive relationships ( Read more... )

So maybe you've heard about this or maybe you haven't it's one of those obscure stories you don't hear about till really the inciting incident is years past. It was on yahoos home page though and if you haven't read it here is the link ( Read more... )

I think sometimes we become mindless zombies of our little day to day world so much so that we end up cruising about on auto pilot forgetting that we are alive. As this form of "life" continues we become more and more afraid that something unexpected might shatter the walls of our self made jail cell that we somehow feel safe in. We walk around ( Read more... )

In the utter realization that despite my very comfortable job I find myself feeling the mental stimulus equal of watching endless hours of infomercials while at work....I have almost decided to go back to school. I am toying with the idea of going to school for something that may indeed never be profitable but I believe would be infinitly more ( Read more... )

I have this theory that we spend most of our lives in a sort of half asleep general malaise. In those rare beautiful moments we wake up fully and are truly aware and alive. Every once in a great while I will come across a person who seems to be awake all of the time. These people are like beacons of light in a rather dreary day to day existance ( Read more... )

It's strange how much changes in such a relatively short amount of time. I feel so incredibly blessed in so many ways. I feel as though some sort of curse has been lifted and I finally have the freedom to live my life. It is as though the changes within myself are what have made anything seem possible instead of the environment. I used to think ( Read more... )