A year in the passing....

[raincry]

It seems at every year at this time the reflective nature of memory becomes abundant. I think back to friends lost and friends gained and the different paths I've taken on my journey thus far. Sometimes I feel a yearning for the life I once had but, solemnly know that change was an inevitable ingredient. Even now I know the lives that I affected and affected me with equal degree were not perfect. The mind has a wonderful ability to encapsulate those times into perfection and slough off all the sadness, heartbreak, and loss that comes with living. Some days I close my eyes and for a moment I smile at all the friends and places I'll never be a part of again...the top of the parking garage that overlooked downtown Columbia, eating O-rolls at Sake with nearly perfect atmosphere, long nights of drinking wine with potentially the best minds I've ever known, a single kiss that made a room dissolve, stumbling drunkenly outside a dance club with two heaven sent girlfriends, losing my red lace underwear at the Miller's Christmas party, swaying drunkenly to a Johnny Lang concert with one of my sisters, dancing with abandon to the sounds of Ozomatli, shows at the Blue Note, free hidden snacks in the dark box, a photo lab with secret messages rolled into the canisters left to make me smile, the smell of the earth and fallen leaves in the woods on the farm, the smell of tea rose perfume on my grandmothers skin when she rocked me in her rocking chair, and so much more. I know I carry with me a piece of all those people, all those places and I'll carry them always. My journey is far from an end but, it seems my spirit is terribly restless and shifts with the wind. An ever changing place is where you find me.

"And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding.." -Oasis