Gladys would not approve of these shenanigans
This is, in some ways, a very difficult post to make. And yet in others, it is the easiest.
I spent a lot of yesterday incoherently angry. You can ask anyone who knows me how often I get angry and I believe the answer you'll get is, "What? Her?" Call me a duck, because most things roll off my back. But there are times when I do get defensive and sensitive and this is one of them.
If you're reading this, you probably know that this post was the starting point. Frankly, I was offended on so many levels, I couldn't (and can't) unpack it to the point where there is a salient list of Things That Are Wrong. In defense of the OP, she made a lot of false statements, but I think the impetus for the post is a valid one. She felt uncomfortable and wanted to examine why. But the rest (which is not just the post, but the supportive comments and the overall negative attitude towards bandom, both in and out of fandom) is failsauce.
I really thought that fandom got it. That it was a place, if nothing else, tolerant other people's joy. But if anything, the reaction to the post has given me so much hope and pride.
Am I sensitive? Yes. I work with kids, who are as unfiltered as people can be. I am confronted with racism, classism, homophobia, sexism, even ageism on a daily basis. Sometimes it's subtle, sometimes it's not. But as a teacher, I feel as though I do have to confront these issues head-on. It absolutely leaves me sensitive.
Am I defensive? Yes. Constantly being dismissed as a thirteen year old girl (and how ridiculous is THAT? Because a young girl likes it, it must be crap?) will do that to you. Or maybe it's just being in fandom, constantly having to justify how I spend my free time. Or maybe it's being a nerd, or being a girl sports fan. I'm fed up with justifying myself to people who refuse to try and understand (this is more a real life frustration than online).
Am I overinvested? Fuck yes. Fandom's job is overinvestment. What is art's purpose if not to get invested in it? It doesn't matter if it's a tv show, movies or music, that we get invested in it is a sign that it's working. That's a successful piece of art. I, for one, am more than happy to be a part of it. That's why I'm in fandom in the first place.
Here, let me show you people saying it better than I ever could, from the smart to the funny (let me show you my ♥):
kalpurna: On the Subject of Stagegay // madsciencechick: Untitled // addictedkitten: Love isn't Make Believe // claireweasley: in your arenas, oppressing yer gay peoples // siren_mage: you misery and hate will kill us all // queenofhell: Untitled // impertinence: hmmm, apparently I did have something to say // bexless: envy // fayemeadows: what? the fuck? // restriction: Step the fuck off my fandom, or: My words, let me give you them // the_liftedlorax: sh'ani l'atsmi mah ani? // ficbyzee: Untitled // witchqueen: Is this just because I grew up in XF? (Back in the day when we were brawlers) // airgoidslv: William Beckett! // calathea: Psst, come over here. I've got something to tell you // lovelypoet: Putting the "stage gay" in perspective in the grand scheme of *my experience* as a bandom fan // ladysorka: Untitled // gigantic: apropros of // And not to mention an innumerable amount of people in the original post who were articulate and intelligent and will probably shortly get friended by me
ETA: I will continue adding posts as they get made. Check back for more updates.
belladonnalin: Fandom's not all about squee, people: gender, sexuality, race, class, and how we speak // airinshaw: Dude - stage gay is so gay // geekwriter143: My very disorganized two cents on stagegay in bandom // daybreak25: my gay icon, let me show you it // imaginaryhorses: Untitled // wearemany: this is not a fight song // azrielen: Srs Bznz // megolas: A Day Late // A Buck Short // _lolapalooza: you don't hear us complaining about the noise from your rumbling stomachs, poor people // bexone: Late to the party as usual // misspamela: Well, jeez, I go AWOL for a few days... // throughadoor: all your stories about b-b-dub // trixiesfic: right, so... // clare_san: UGH // foxxcub: LOOK! HAPPY BASKETS OF PUPPIES! // wistfuljane: This icon says it all. // wistfuljane: Reasons to love, part 4 // jocondite: Just for the record, the weather today...
Also: MAKE PORN NOT WANK! Wooo!
In conclusion:
THEIR OPERATION IS AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SMOOTH, WELL-OILED, TASER-PROMPTED SEXPLOITATION MACHINE.
NO, REALLY.
I spent a lot of yesterday incoherently angry. You can ask anyone who knows me how often I get angry and I believe the answer you'll get is, "What? Her?" Call me a duck, because most things roll off my back. But there are times when I do get defensive and sensitive and this is one of them.
If you're reading this, you probably know that this post was the starting point. Frankly, I was offended on so many levels, I couldn't (and can't) unpack it to the point where there is a salient list of Things That Are Wrong. In defense of the OP, she made a lot of false statements, but I think the impetus for the post is a valid one. She felt uncomfortable and wanted to examine why. But the rest (which is not just the post, but the supportive comments and the overall negative attitude towards bandom, both in and out of fandom) is failsauce.
I really thought that fandom got it. That it was a place, if nothing else, tolerant other people's joy. But if anything, the reaction to the post has given me so much hope and pride.
Am I sensitive? Yes. I work with kids, who are as unfiltered as people can be. I am confronted with racism, classism, homophobia, sexism, even ageism on a daily basis. Sometimes it's subtle, sometimes it's not. But as a teacher, I feel as though I do have to confront these issues head-on. It absolutely leaves me sensitive.
Am I defensive? Yes. Constantly being dismissed as a thirteen year old girl (and how ridiculous is THAT? Because a young girl likes it, it must be crap?) will do that to you. Or maybe it's just being in fandom, constantly having to justify how I spend my free time. Or maybe it's being a nerd, or being a girl sports fan. I'm fed up with justifying myself to people who refuse to try and understand (this is more a real life frustration than online).
Am I overinvested? Fuck yes. Fandom's job is overinvestment. What is art's purpose if not to get invested in it? It doesn't matter if it's a tv show, movies or music, that we get invested in it is a sign that it's working. That's a successful piece of art. I, for one, am more than happy to be a part of it. That's why I'm in fandom in the first place.
Here, let me show you people saying it better than I ever could, from the smart to the funny (let me show you my ♥):
kalpurna: On the Subject of Stagegay // madsciencechick: Untitled // addictedkitten: Love isn't Make Believe // claireweasley: in your arenas, oppressing yer gay peoples // siren_mage: you misery and hate will kill us all // queenofhell: Untitled // impertinence: hmmm, apparently I did have something to say // bexless: envy // fayemeadows: what? the fuck? // restriction: Step the fuck off my fandom, or: My words, let me give you them // the_liftedlorax: sh'ani l'atsmi mah ani? // ficbyzee: Untitled // witchqueen: Is this just because I grew up in XF? (Back in the day when we were brawlers) // airgoidslv: William Beckett! // calathea: Psst, come over here. I've got something to tell you // lovelypoet: Putting the "stage gay" in perspective in the grand scheme of *my experience* as a bandom fan // ladysorka: Untitled // gigantic: apropros of // And not to mention an innumerable amount of people in the original post who were articulate and intelligent and will probably shortly get friended by me
ETA: I will continue adding posts as they get made. Check back for more updates.
belladonnalin: Fandom's not all about squee, people: gender, sexuality, race, class, and how we speak // airinshaw: Dude - stage gay is so gay // geekwriter143: My very disorganized two cents on stagegay in bandom // daybreak25: my gay icon, let me show you it // imaginaryhorses: Untitled // wearemany: this is not a fight song // azrielen: Srs Bznz // megolas: A Day Late // A Buck Short // _lolapalooza: you don't hear us complaining about the noise from your rumbling stomachs, poor people // bexone: Late to the party as usual // misspamela: Well, jeez, I go AWOL for a few days... // throughadoor: all your stories about b-b-dub // trixiesfic: right, so... // clare_san: UGH // foxxcub: LOOK! HAPPY BASKETS OF PUPPIES! // wistfuljane: This icon says it all. // wistfuljane: Reasons to love, part 4 // jocondite: Just for the record, the weather today...
Also: MAKE PORN NOT WANK! Wooo!
In conclusion:
THEIR OPERATION IS AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN A SMOOTH, WELL-OILED, TASER-PROMPTED SEXPLOITATION MACHINE.
NO, REALLY.