I ordered some Converse shoes the other day from Beall's via a sale on Amazon. They arrived today and I was so excited about my new Chucks, but then I pulled them out of the box and saw something similar to this:

( surprise! )

Dear Checkers "Rap Cat" jingle,

PLEASE GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

Love,
Amber

Say you are pet-sitting a bird whose family usually lets him out of the cage when they're home. Say you let the bird out when you come over, but he is a pain in the ass and often flies around the house and perches in hard-to-reach places when you try to get him back in his cage, and you have to call your brother to come get him because he's a nice ( Read more... )

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Every time I wash the utility room rug, a cat immediately throws up on it. EVERY SINGLE FRICKIN' TIME.

Jesus Christ! My rent is going up $70 next year!

I feel like I'm living in a freaking jail with my landlord sometimes. She has a new rule for me every few months. Last time it was trash can size, and tonight she called and reprimanded me for having a sticker on my front door notifying firefighters that I have pets to rescue. Stickers damage the paint and then she has to sandblast and repaint, ( Read more... )

Note to self:

Wal-borne tastes like ass. Don't go cheapy next time.

Oh, Gwen, how do I love thee?

If stores are going to be closed on Sundays so that people can allegedly spend all day worshipping God, then I suggest that America declare Monday part of the corporate American weekend so that I can have more than one day a week to get my errands done ( Read more... )

I have got to stop watching Gus Van Sant movies.