Sucks for you guys, mine is hilarious.

Puckasaurus to Gryffindor.

Yeah, every last one of you assholes.

Suck it.

And just so you know, I mean my dick.

Everyone needs to chill the hell out. If you don't want to wear boys' clothes, try moving your ass to the right dorm. Duh.

And not that it really matters who wins the game, since Slytherin's got it in the bag, but it would still be nice to see Gryffindor get trampled again. So I'm on Team Nerd.

Usually I spend spring break cleaning pools and vandalizing, but most of the break was Passover, so I was at home eating funky bread and trying to convince mum that we didn't need another Schindler's List marathon.

I didn't win.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

...I'm sorry. I won't whip my dick out again.

((ooc: He's under Crane's potion now which means he does everything he's told. He was being a dick in the common room and someone told him to fuck himself. He was told to STOP very quickly after but feel free to be that person if you're a Slytherin.))

[Filtered from Lauren - but poorly]

I think someone's poisoning my food. She walked by and tapped my food with her wand at dinner, and this morning, she randomly wanted to be partners in Potions. She never wants to be partners.

And I don't remember what we made, but I'm pretty sure it was bad.

How do you tell if your potatoes are fucked up?

Pretty sweet trip.

You know what it needed?

More fucking erklings.

[Puck tries to write, for a minute...but it's all wildly incoherent scribbles, inkblots, and stabs at the page. A few minutes after seemingly abandoning the idea, he gets the voice charm to work. Kinda. It might not sound like it, since he's slurring everything he says.]Who the fuck am I and why am I exploding ( Read more... )

Hey, Hufflepuff.

I hope you guys like snogging bludgers, because we're gonna strike you down, like a throbbing cock of justice.

And then we're gonna have sex with your mums.

Practice sucked. I knocked the shit out of myself because I couldn't focus, because I kept getting yelled at.

[Have some little blood spatters, courtesy of Puck's nose!]

Seriously, this is garbage. If I go to hospital wing, you think I can get them to keep me through class tomorrow?