Bernard Manning once said that the only problem with alternative comedians was that they didn't know any jokes. I don't have a great deal in common with Bernard idealogically, but I'm inclined to agree with him to some extent on this point. Of course, the comedians who were once thought of as alternative are now the norm and the old school stand- ( Read more... )

I fucking love Gordon Ramsay ( Read more... )

I'm sure that arranging to meet strangers from the internet for sex probably seems like a good idea until you realise that the person you are meeting is the kind of person who arranges to meet strangers from the internet for sex. And so are you ( Read more... )

Eurovision is the usual frothy cocktail of the nearly good and the utterly awful. The French entry was the only one I would have listened to by choice. Strangely, it was also the only one that Terry Wogan seemed to not like at all. I also enjoyed the Russian entry, but I would have enjoyed it just as much with the sound off. As far as cheesy pop ( Read more... )

( BDSM! )

I was almost excited when I saw this until I realised it was just a rather weak play on words. How wrong is it that I really want a blow-up doll of the great Roger Moore?

And, before anybody asks, I was advising a friend on a purchase.

I've just been for a walk. At 6am. In the rain. I have no idea why ( Read more... )

The noisy gardening and the burning of things has stopped. I looked out of my window to check that the seasonal madness was finally over for the day. What did I see? There is an attractive teenage girl out in the street wearing a bikini and playing with a beach ball. I'm not even joking. On the one hand, I object in the strongest possible terms ( Read more... )

I had forgotten how much I dislike warm weather. It's not the weather in itself as much as the way it makes certain kinds of people behave. These are the worst things ( Read more... )

Everybody is mentioning that Kurt Vonnegut died. Nobody is mentioning that Dave Martin died. Did Kurt Vonnegut co-create the world's best-loved robot dog? No he bloody didn't. What is wrong with you people ( Read more... )