Two Nuns Walked Into A Bar...

[pseudnik]

Bernard Manning once said that the only problem with alternative comedians was that they didn't know any jokes. I don't have a great deal in common with Bernard idealogically, but I'm inclined to agree with him to some extent on this point. Of course, the comedians who were once thought of as alternative are now the norm and the old school stand-

Comments

[gordon_r_d]

From the late, great Bob Monkhouse..."When I die I want to go like my father...peacefully in my sleep...and not screaming in terror like his passengers."

[pseudnik]

Bob Monkhouse was always sadly underrated as a comedian, at least by the public. Game shows have a lot to answer for. I always loved his reverence for the art of telling gags and the fact that he collected jokes quite obsessively as a hobby.

[communicator]

My favourite Bob Monkhouse joke is 'They laughed when I said I wanted to be a great comedian... well, they're not laughing now'

[hafren]

It'd be one of these Tommy Cooper one-liners, but buggered if I can choose:

A man walked into the doctor's, he said ' I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'

'So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said, 'You are.'

'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'

[pseudnik]

You really can't go wrong with a Tommy Cooper one-liner.

[matildabj]

Bob Monkhouse was fab indeed. My favourite joke isn't a one-liner:

A man hears a knock at the door. When he answers it, there's a snail on the doorstep. "Ugh," he says, and throws the snail into the road.

Three weeks later there's a knock at the door. When the man answers it, there's a snail on the doorstep. It looks at him and says, "What was that about?"

Gets me every time.

[pseudnik]

Heh. I've never heard that one before.