Is anyone here familiar with the term 'batwings', in which a person (usually during the sweltering summer months or after a hot shower) is able to attach ball slack to the inside of each thigh and stand legs apart, thereby creating the illusion of a bat spreading its veiny wings ( Read more... )

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Happy Resurrection, Jesus!

Thanx Apes.

Does anyone remember that hobo in Santa Cruz who lived inside a cocoon made out of Hefty bags and he was running for president? You never saw him, but every time someone walked by he would say "Have a nice day, sir or ma'am?"

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When I get on the train to work, it's dark. I transfer to the blue line and wait 14 minutes for the westbound train, rigor mortising in the frosty morning air as I watch three eastbound trains go by, each containing three people. At least there's the one guy who looks like he's actually going to work. The other two are hobos, doubtlessly leaving ( Read more... )

"Hi."

On the train was this man with the most beautiful and shiniest head. A person was talking loudly. At first, I thought she was just an ordinary midget, but then I realized that she was an oompa loompa. The oompa loompa was explaining about the Village People to the beautiful shiny-headed man ( Read more... )

It's summer in the city, and hobos are celebrating by peeing and pooing on the train stop. Smell of hot dogs, barf, or farts. Someone has left their pants on the sidewalk again. Ten to one there's poo in 'em.

Poor fellow didn't make it to the train in time.

Today I caught the chef train to work. If you get on early enough, there's all these chefs going downtown. You can tell by their pants. Black and white checkered, and – excitingly – chili peppers ( Read more... )

There was a picture of Lemmy from Motörhead in the Portland Mercury last week. Next to it was a caption describing his facial hair as being a "pussy saddle."


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