Shew, been a long few years of life since I have posted here. Again I find myself in a situation of my own making but hating myself for it. Sometimes the only option still is the one option that leaves me cold and lifeless. Blah maybe more later once I collect my thoughts on actually posting things again.

Just thought I would update everyone, Shelby is 2 months old now and growing tooo fast, Amber is as amazing as ever and I am trying to function the best I can.

I feel out of control and unable to function ... isn't that wonderful ... doing fine for years then get knocked up and postpartum depression gets me. I want to scream that it isn't fair!!!! But, who would care if it was fair or not ( Read more... )

Well the new baby hates to sleep so there for I get about a hour or two at a time. My thoughts are all scatterbrained and I do believe something has to give soon or I am going to lose it ( Read more... )

I'm so frustrated! Is this baby ever going to come?

Another day passes with no baby.

I think I am past the point of being negative, I want to see this little monster that is so stubborn.

There was a time in my life when every little thing just through me into a rant about how something was so wrong it was unthinkable. That time is graciously over and I tend to take a more mellow look on things today. But, I feel so out of control in this moment! I don't know why but I want to cry so hard that I never stop. I am so pregnant that ( Read more... )

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.

The first real snow always makes me happy, and this year its the first time amber will really enjoy it so its double nice. Not much time this evenin for a long post just thought i would share the snow happiness.

Its quiet here with Amber sleeping. I am in one of those weird moods. The ultrasound tech said little girl, so my new one is going to be named Isis Marie. I hope that all is going well with her brewing processes. My doctor doesn't really share alot just kinda says looks good and that should be enough. I tend to want more information but with ( Read more... )

Well, as life yet again turns and twists all the stress and drama makes an impact.  Amber cried for a long time tonight because she couldn't say goodnight to doug, I wanted to cry with her but had to be strong.  I hope that it doesn't take forever for her to stop saying doug doug doug doug.  But, I knew when I made the decision for him to leave it ( Read more... )