(no subject)
There was a time in my life when every little thing just through me into a rant about how something was so wrong it was unthinkable. That time is graciously over and I tend to take a more mellow look on things today. But, I feel so out of control in this moment! I don't know why but I want to cry so hard that I never stop. I am so pregnant that labor is a dream nightly I just want all this over but it seems like it won't end. Its like I'm at the end of a peaceful time that was nice while it lasted but means nothing because it isn't going to continue.
Amber is trying to go to sleep, and I'm sitting here in front of the computer hoping that things will be ok all the time knowing that it isn't going to be.
Its a feeling I know all to well from the past but still baffles me that it could return so hard and fast. I feel like the only way this could get better would be an end to the whole affair. What the hell is wrong with me?
Why can't I just once deal with a situation without this helplessness invading my whole being? And even more intriqueing to me is why do I just sit here feeling it instead of working on the solution to the problem. I have the tools to stop the madness but its like they are all just out of reach to utilize. Lord I hope I have this baby soon so my hormones can settle back down and I can feel normal again.
Amber is trying to go to sleep, and I'm sitting here in front of the computer hoping that things will be ok all the time knowing that it isn't going to be.
Its a feeling I know all to well from the past but still baffles me that it could return so hard and fast. I feel like the only way this could get better would be an end to the whole affair. What the hell is wrong with me?
Why can't I just once deal with a situation without this helplessness invading my whole being? And even more intriqueing to me is why do I just sit here feeling it instead of working on the solution to the problem. I have the tools to stop the madness but its like they are all just out of reach to utilize. Lord I hope I have this baby soon so my hormones can settle back down and I can feel normal again.