Harder, Supernatural, NC-17, Broken!Verse
Fandom: Supernatural
Title: Harder
Characters/Pairings: Sam/Dean, John, Ellen, Bobby, Caleb, Pastor Jim, OMC
Rating: NC-17 (for thematic reasons)
Word Count: 3381
Summary: A sequel to Anything which was a Christmas request from nanakomatsu, Nothing, Something, To Be Good, Broken, To Be Strong, Nothing, No One, Alone, Yours, Mine, Better, Choice, Gathering, Betrayal, Taken, Remember, Training, Conflagration, Setting Up, Surviving, Pretending, Rescue, Revelations, Reconciliation, Waking Up, Guilt, Working On It, Effort, The Need to Talk, Please, Family, Wrong, Right There, A Plan, Dean and Sam and Dad and Watch and Learn
Summary: Gabe and Caleb walk into the lion's den. Sam and John start the gruesome task of looking for clues in the stacks of DVDs and Pastor Jim starts the delicate task of helping Dean deal.
A/Ns and Warnings: Very dark. Includes memory of torture and rape and very dark violence.
Ellen sat beside Bobby and watched the gates to the complex as if she could will Gabe and Caleb to reappear. “Shit. I hate it when I’m right like this.”
“So…what do we do?”
Ellen shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“We can’t just leave them.”
“No. Okay.” She blew out and nodded. “Okay. I’m going back to my original plan. We need to buy time, right? Time for John to find out whatever it is that sick bastard wants us to know? He knows we’re here, he’ll expect me to come to him.”
“No.” Bobby shook his head. “No, we’ve already risked Caleb and Gabe. We can’t risk you too.”
“We may not have a choice.”
“Gabe’s last text message said the FBI is on the way. We should wait for them.”
“Gordon.” She pointed with her chin at the delivery truck pulling up to the gates. He was the next step of their plan. He and two of his men were going in under the guise of a delivery for the import company. “I have a really bad feeling about this Bobby. Really bad.”
Sam sat and stared at the television. He could hear Jim and his father talking, but they were wasting time. He reached over with a shaking hand and picked up the remote.
“Sam.” He shook his head.
“Have to. You said it yourself.” He turned and looked up at them. “Pastor Jim, we’re going to need you to keep Dean occupied and away from this. If he…he wouldn’t be able to handle this. Dad, you can use my laptop. If we split them up and run them on fast forward, we can only stop if we see something that needs…that we need to watch.”
“Sam…I don’t think you need to do this.” John said, his hand on the back of the chair.
“I don’t think we have a choice.” Sam took the first ten DVDs from the box and set them on the coffee table before handing the box back to his father. “And we don’t have the time to argue.
“I’ll go sit with Dean.” Jim said, patting Sam’s shoulder. “But you and I will have a talk soon.”
Sam nodded, but he had other things on his mind at the moment. He could feel his father still hovering, but he ignored him, turning his attention to the television and turning the video back on.
The screen filled with Dean’s face, drugged into oblivion as someone fucked his mouth. Sam swallowed with difficulty and started the fast forward, trying to watch for the clue and not really see the rest. Behind him, his father made a hurt sound, then left the room.
John settled onto his bed with Sam’s laptop and the box. He plugged in a set of headphones, so he wouldn’t disturb Dean across the hall and reached into the box. He chose the last disk, and stared at it for a long minute before he put it in.
The picture that appeared was a little grainy, and he started when he saw his own face appear on the screen. He recognized the lobby of the motel in Sharon, then Dean behind him. The bastard had been watching them then…or had gotten the footage since.
He set it to fast forward and watched him and Dean leave the lobby. The picture switched then to an outside camera, focused on the door of the room they went into. Dean’s face appeared at the window, staring out almost at the camera.
There were things he knew, things he saw, and things he only saw the aftermath of. He had to stop the playback when they killed Joshua. Then there was Sam.
He was alone, in a cage, hands bound, naked, shivering. This wasn’t surveillance video. It had a different quality, it had sound. Sound. Sam, whimpering. Sam crying. John set it to fast forward again to make the sound just…go away…twenty minutes later, John lost what little was left in his stomach after watching the way they’d beaten him, and without so much as a chance to rest, thrust themselves into him, laughing as they did it.
It was one thing to know this had been done…and another to watch it happen. He pulled himself up to his feet, staring at his ashen face in the bathroom mirror. “Your boys need you to hold this together,” he told himself before splashing some water on his face and rinsing out his mouth. “You can do this.”
He went back to the computer, still not sure that he could.
Gabe looked up when the elevator finally opened and two burly men in black suits emerged. “Master James, sorry to keep you waiting. If you would come with us.”
Gabe stood and nodded. Caleb stood once Gabe was past him and followed. Neither of the men looked twice at him, which suited Caleb just fine.
“Mr. Gorlian has been unavoidably delayed due to some issues with interests in Florida, but he has asked that we extend you every courtesy, once we’ve confirmed your identity.”
“I hope the delay won’t take too long.” Gabe said with a note of disdain in his voice. “I have a flight to catch this afternoon.”
“I’m sure you won’t miss it, sir. If you would step this way.”
The taller of the two led them off the elevator and into a white room with what looked like and airport x-ray machine. “Are you carrying any weapons, sir?”
“Of course.”
“Please set them on the tray.”
Gabe stepped up to the low table and the series of white plastic trays. He pulled the gun from the small of his back, pulled out the clip and set it on the tray, then he flexed his wrist and the small, but deadly, knife popped into his hand from its hidden sheath on his forearm.
That was apparently impressive, as the shorter of the two men whistled. “Is that a Dankiner model? I haven’t seen one of those in a long time.”
Gabe flipped the knife around and offered him the handle. “It is. I prefer blades to other tools…don’t I, boy?” He tossed the comment over his shoulder at Caleb who bowed his head in agreement.
When the knife came back, he twirled it through his fingers, then set it next to the gun. “Anything else that might be construed as a weapon, sir?”
Gabe smiled coldly. “Just about anything can be construed as a weapon boys, if one knows how to use it.”
They shifted a little, uncomfortable with what sounded like it could be a threat. “I have car keys and a pen. Everything else is all me.”
“And the folder your slave is holding?”
“Information, for Mr. Gorlian.” The short one reached for it and Gabe reached his hand for it, bringing Caleb a step closer to him. “It is for his eyes only, of course, and encrypted.”
“Very well. Please step through the x-ray after me. Do not touch the machine, look straight forward, hands at your sides.”
A few minutes later Caleb was again on his knees beside a chair while Gabe settled in to wait.
“Can we bring you anything, Master James?”
“No. I’m fine.” He squeezed Caleb’s shoulder and repeated it to himself, hoping it would calm him down.
“Ellen!”
“Calm down Allen. All we can do is stick to the plan. Gabe has a good head on his shoulders. He knows what he’s doing.”
“We should probably take this argument out of the line of sight of those security cameras.” Bobby interjected. “Or get on with this.”
“If anything happens to my boy in there-“
“Nothing is going to happen, Allen.”
Her earpiece crackled and she turned away. “Gordon?”
“In position, Mama.”
“Observations?”
“Ten birds awaiting shipping. Five more just arrived.”
“Any sign of our company?”
“Not yet.”
“Okay, be advised, we’re moving to the next phase.”
“Roger that.”
“What next phase?” Allen asked as Ellen went around to the passenger side of the car and pulled on a black jacket.
“The one where I go in and find Gabe and Caleb, and stall and you and Bobby get read to make with the distractions so that we can get the hell out if the cavalry doesn’t show.”
“I want Sam.” Dean said, his eyes flashing anger at Pastor Jim who stood between him and the door.
“I know, Son, but he’s busy and he asked me to look after you.”
“Don’t need a babysitter.” Dean growled, crossing his arms. He didn’t understand. “Need Sam.” It had been over an hour. Everything was so jumbled in his head.
“You know, I might not be Sam, but I’m a pretty good listener. Maybe you would feel better if you talked a little.”
“Bout what?” Dean leaned back against the headboard, eyeing Jim.
“Anything. Everything. What you’re thinking, feeling. What you remember…or don’t remember.”
“How can I talk about something I don’t remember?”
Jim smiled. Dean remembered he liked how Pastor Jim smiled. Always had. “Sometimes it helps…just tell me something…anything that comes to mind.”
“When I was twelve, I lost a toad in your church.”
Jim chuckled, and crossed his arms. “Not really what I had in mind. But it’s good to know where it came from.”
Dean squirmed a little on the bed. “I know what you want me to talk about. I don’t know if I can.”
Jim nodded and came to sit on the end of the bed. “It’s okay Dean. I’m here to listen.”
Dean drew his legs up to his chest. “I don’t want them to hate me.”
“Who, your father and brother?”
Dean nodded and Jim echoed the gesture. “I don’t think they could, Dean. They both love you very much.”
“Not when they know.” Dean pressed his lips together and sighed heavily. “When they know how many there were…how I just…let them….”
Sam stopped the playback and got up, turning from the television with tears streaming down his face. At the end of the second disk, there was no sign of any clue, only endless footage of Dean being brutalized. He was still fighting back…but Sam could see the strength for it waning.
The long black spots were the worst…when Sam slowed the playback to make sure the voice wasn’t back, only to listen as Dean whispered endlessly, or screamed his name.
Sam grabbed at his crutches and hobbled into the kitchen. They were going to run out of time before they found it. If it wasn’t all just some sick joke. He wanted a drink, something stiff, but the best they had was beer. He opened one and slammed it down. It didn’t help.
He took a deep breath and moved back into the living room, changing disks. He sat a little closer to the television and hit play. Instead of the dank, dark cell, the screen was filled with sunshine and green grass, and him. Large as life, he strode across the screen, his arm around Jessica, laughing at some joke the camera didn’t pick up. He could hear the laughter though, could hear Jessica’s voice as she pushed him away and took of running, daring him to catch her.
All around them the campus was alive with students moving between classes or whatever other business moved them around the quad. He flinched as he watched himself trip over someone’s foot and tumble to the ground. His breath caught as he recognized the man on the blanket. “Razz.”
There was more, but he fast forwarded until it showed Jessica’s apartment. The picture seemed to just stop, showing the front of the building. He double checked to make sure that it wasn’t paused, realizing in growing horror that they could still be watching her, watching the campus…stealing students that everyone thought had just dropped out.
Sam fumbled for his phone, dialing Jessica’s number before realizing he hadn’t spoken to her in months. He got her voice mail and thought about hanging up.
“Hey, Jess. It’s me, Sam. I…I know it’s been a while, and I…just wanted to make sure that you’re okay. I mean…I know I was a jerk, taking off like that. I found my brother though…and I…was worried about you. So…call me, the number’s the same.”
Gabe knew they were likely being watched, and any communication he tried to have with the outside world would be monitored. Gorlian had left them sitting for close to an hour. He was getting nervous.
Enough. He thought. If they waited any longer-The door opened and a woman in a business suit appeared. “Master James, Mr. Gorlian is ready to see you now.”
“About damn time.” Gabe muttered as he stood. He moved slowly, knowing Caleb was probably hurting from the kneeling and offering him a chance to loosen up.
“This way.” She led him out of the room they’d left him waiting in, and into a lobby of sorts, then up to another elevator. As the elevator doors opened, she smiled and led them across a smaller lobby area, greeting a receptionist as she opened the doors to a spacious private office. The man standing behind the impressive desk was big, like John Winchester, broad shoulders, built for bull strength.
“Mr. Gorlian, may I present Master Maxwell James.”
“Thank you Theresa, that will be all.”
He smiled widely, holding out a hand as he came around the desk. “Welcome, young Master James. Your father told me many good things about you. I was hoping we would get a chance to meet.”
“Pity it took my father’s death in your stupid little games to bring us to this, eh?” Gabe said, shaking the offered hand.
Gorlian’s face clouded a little. “The loss of your father was most unfortunate, I’ll admit.” He moved back toward his desk. “Your father was a friend and a valued employee. His talents will be missed.”
Gabe raised an eyebrow. “The senior Master James was a sick pervert who got his kicks breaking the unbreakable and turning them into toys for the rich and equally perverted.”
He unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat without being asked, snapping his fingers at Caleb, who came to kneel beside him instantly.
“Is he one of your fathers?”
Gabe let one hand caress Caleb’s head briefly. “No, he’s mine. My father broke him, but I trained him.”
He watched Gorlian take his seat behind the desk and waited. The longer this took the better the chances were that the others would get in and get their jobs done.
“So, you aren’t here just to listen to me eulogize your father.”
“No. I’m not.” He held out his hand to Caleb for the folder, and sat forward. “I’m here to finish something my father started.”
“Can you tell me why you think they would hate you for something that was out of your control, Dean?”
“Shouldn’t have been. I’m better than that. Stronger. Should have fought more.”
“From what your father told me, you fought plenty, Dean. Sometimes the bad guy is just better than we are.”
“Good soldier fights. Good soldier wins. I wasn’t good enough.” Dean shifted uncomfortably. “Can I see Sam?”
“In a little bit Dean.”
He got up and went to the window. The sun shone down in the yard outside. “I forgot for a while,” he said softly.
“Forgot what?”
Dean shook his head as he leaned against the window frame. “What the sun felt like. What the wind sounds like. Sam’s voice…Dad’s face.” He licked his lips and closed his eyes, as if looking inside himself for something. “I remember thinking, ‘This can’t be real. This can’t be happening,’ but I couldn’t move, and I couldn’t scream…there were all these hands…and voices….” Dean was shaking. Jim got off the bed and came toward him slowly. “I said no….I tried to stop them…but I couldn’t move…and there were so many of them…I yelled…for Dad…I yelled and yelled and he didn’t hear me…he didn’t come.”
Jim reached out for him, but Dean slapped the hand away. “Why didn’t he hear me? Why?” Dean was yelling, his fists flailing at Jim. “They hurt me and told me he wouldn’t come…they shoved their fists and dicks inside me and made me come and laughed at me…Dirty! Whore! Slave!”
Jim stood stoically and let Dean rage at him, let him pound at his arms and chest until he ran out of steam, then just pulled him close and held onto him. When he calmed, Jim walked him back to the bed. “Maybe it would be good for you to rest now. I’ll go see if Sam is ready for a break. Maybe he can come sit with you.”
“I want Sam.” Dean whispered and Jim nodded.
“You stay here, I’ll get him.”
“We figured it was time you knew the truth, slave. About why you’re here.” Thomas tugged Dean’s head back and Razz held a tape player near Dean’s head. He pushed the button and Dean gasped as his father’s voice poured out of it.
“My son, Dean. Pretty face, might be hard to break. Once you do though, he’s obedient. Trained him that way myself.”
Sam gasped. He’d heard the words before, but not like this, not in his father’s own voice, his own inflection…not watching what the sound was doing to Dean.
”I told your daddy what would become of you, slave. He asked if he could watch.” Thomas said as Razz pushed Dean’s face toward the floor, positioning him with his ass up. “Maybe we’ll send him pictures.”
Thomas laughed as Razz drove into Dean, playing the tape again and again while Razz raped him. Dean broke, sobbing into the metal floor, oblivious to what they were doing to him.
“Sam?”
Sam jumped, pausing the playback quickly before looking up. “Pastor Jim….I didn’t hear you.”
“Are you okay?”
Sam wiped the tears off his face and sort of nodded, then shook his head. “I…don’t really know…actually.” He looked back at the television. “It’s…harder than I thought. I mean…I knew about this…but hearing it…seeing it…” He shivered and turned the television off. “It’s not the same.”
“Maybe you should take a break then. Dean’s been asking for you.”
Sam shook his head. “He’ll know. He’ll know I saw.”
Jim came to squat by the chair. “He won’t know. Right now he’s all torn up and he needs you.”
“But we have to…its only the third disk…and Ellen…”
Jim patted his hand. “Let me, Sam. You go sit with Dean. I’ll look at the next few disks, okay?”
“No…I can’t ask you to…do that. I should finish.”
“I came to help, Sam.”
“I agree with Jim, Sam.” Sam looked up to find his father at the bottom of the stairs. “I’m taking a break, making something to eat. You go sit with Dean. I’ll call Ellen, see where we’re at. A few minutes isn’t going to make a difference.”
Sam stood and took the crutches Jim handed him. “I don’t like it.”
“Duly noted.” John said, though his tear streaked face belied the tone of his voice, as did his arms sweeping Sam up in a bear hug when he got close enough. “I am so sorry, Sam.” John whispered, tugging him just a little closer. “I love you so much.”
Sam bit back the sob that threatened to escape him and John let him go to work his way up the stairs. He let himself into the bedroom and slid into bed behind Dean, wrapping his arms around him. “Sammy?”
“Yeah, Dean, it’s me.” Sam sniffled and rubbed at his swollen eyes a little more. “You okay?”
Dean shrugged. “Don’t know. Pastor Jim was here.”
“Did you talk?”
Dean rolled over to face Sam, concern in his eyes as he saw Sam’s face. “You okay, Sammy?”
Sam nodded, but in the back of his mind he could hear Dean’s voice in the dark screaming his name over and over again. “I’m feeling a little sad right now Dean, but I’m okay.”
Dean kissed both of his eyes. “Don’t be sad, Sammy. I’m here. I’ll take good care of you.”
Sam didn’t think he’d ever be able to explain to his brother why that just made him cry harder.
Title: Harder
Characters/Pairings: Sam/Dean, John, Ellen, Bobby, Caleb, Pastor Jim, OMC
Rating: NC-17 (for thematic reasons)
Word Count: 3381
Summary: A sequel to Anything which was a Christmas request from nanakomatsu, Nothing, Something, To Be Good, Broken, To Be Strong, Nothing, No One, Alone, Yours, Mine, Better, Choice, Gathering, Betrayal, Taken, Remember, Training, Conflagration, Setting Up, Surviving, Pretending, Rescue, Revelations, Reconciliation, Waking Up, Guilt, Working On It, Effort, The Need to Talk, Please, Family, Wrong, Right There, A Plan, Dean and Sam and Dad and Watch and Learn
Summary: Gabe and Caleb walk into the lion's den. Sam and John start the gruesome task of looking for clues in the stacks of DVDs and Pastor Jim starts the delicate task of helping Dean deal.
A/Ns and Warnings: Very dark. Includes memory of torture and rape and very dark violence.
Ellen sat beside Bobby and watched the gates to the complex as if she could will Gabe and Caleb to reappear. “Shit. I hate it when I’m right like this.”
“So…what do we do?”
Ellen shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“We can’t just leave them.”
“No. Okay.” She blew out and nodded. “Okay. I’m going back to my original plan. We need to buy time, right? Time for John to find out whatever it is that sick bastard wants us to know? He knows we’re here, he’ll expect me to come to him.”
“No.” Bobby shook his head. “No, we’ve already risked Caleb and Gabe. We can’t risk you too.”
“We may not have a choice.”
“Gabe’s last text message said the FBI is on the way. We should wait for them.”
“Gordon.” She pointed with her chin at the delivery truck pulling up to the gates. He was the next step of their plan. He and two of his men were going in under the guise of a delivery for the import company. “I have a really bad feeling about this Bobby. Really bad.”
Sam sat and stared at the television. He could hear Jim and his father talking, but they were wasting time. He reached over with a shaking hand and picked up the remote.
“Sam.” He shook his head.
“Have to. You said it yourself.” He turned and looked up at them. “Pastor Jim, we’re going to need you to keep Dean occupied and away from this. If he…he wouldn’t be able to handle this. Dad, you can use my laptop. If we split them up and run them on fast forward, we can only stop if we see something that needs…that we need to watch.”
“Sam…I don’t think you need to do this.” John said, his hand on the back of the chair.
“I don’t think we have a choice.” Sam took the first ten DVDs from the box and set them on the coffee table before handing the box back to his father. “And we don’t have the time to argue.
“I’ll go sit with Dean.” Jim said, patting Sam’s shoulder. “But you and I will have a talk soon.”
Sam nodded, but he had other things on his mind at the moment. He could feel his father still hovering, but he ignored him, turning his attention to the television and turning the video back on.
The screen filled with Dean’s face, drugged into oblivion as someone fucked his mouth. Sam swallowed with difficulty and started the fast forward, trying to watch for the clue and not really see the rest. Behind him, his father made a hurt sound, then left the room.
John settled onto his bed with Sam’s laptop and the box. He plugged in a set of headphones, so he wouldn’t disturb Dean across the hall and reached into the box. He chose the last disk, and stared at it for a long minute before he put it in.
The picture that appeared was a little grainy, and he started when he saw his own face appear on the screen. He recognized the lobby of the motel in Sharon, then Dean behind him. The bastard had been watching them then…or had gotten the footage since.
He set it to fast forward and watched him and Dean leave the lobby. The picture switched then to an outside camera, focused on the door of the room they went into. Dean’s face appeared at the window, staring out almost at the camera.
There were things he knew, things he saw, and things he only saw the aftermath of. He had to stop the playback when they killed Joshua. Then there was Sam.
He was alone, in a cage, hands bound, naked, shivering. This wasn’t surveillance video. It had a different quality, it had sound. Sound. Sam, whimpering. Sam crying. John set it to fast forward again to make the sound just…go away…twenty minutes later, John lost what little was left in his stomach after watching the way they’d beaten him, and without so much as a chance to rest, thrust themselves into him, laughing as they did it.
It was one thing to know this had been done…and another to watch it happen. He pulled himself up to his feet, staring at his ashen face in the bathroom mirror. “Your boys need you to hold this together,” he told himself before splashing some water on his face and rinsing out his mouth. “You can do this.”
He went back to the computer, still not sure that he could.
Gabe looked up when the elevator finally opened and two burly men in black suits emerged. “Master James, sorry to keep you waiting. If you would come with us.”
Gabe stood and nodded. Caleb stood once Gabe was past him and followed. Neither of the men looked twice at him, which suited Caleb just fine.
“Mr. Gorlian has been unavoidably delayed due to some issues with interests in Florida, but he has asked that we extend you every courtesy, once we’ve confirmed your identity.”
“I hope the delay won’t take too long.” Gabe said with a note of disdain in his voice. “I have a flight to catch this afternoon.”
“I’m sure you won’t miss it, sir. If you would step this way.”
The taller of the two led them off the elevator and into a white room with what looked like and airport x-ray machine. “Are you carrying any weapons, sir?”
“Of course.”
“Please set them on the tray.”
Gabe stepped up to the low table and the series of white plastic trays. He pulled the gun from the small of his back, pulled out the clip and set it on the tray, then he flexed his wrist and the small, but deadly, knife popped into his hand from its hidden sheath on his forearm.
That was apparently impressive, as the shorter of the two men whistled. “Is that a Dankiner model? I haven’t seen one of those in a long time.”
Gabe flipped the knife around and offered him the handle. “It is. I prefer blades to other tools…don’t I, boy?” He tossed the comment over his shoulder at Caleb who bowed his head in agreement.
When the knife came back, he twirled it through his fingers, then set it next to the gun. “Anything else that might be construed as a weapon, sir?”
Gabe smiled coldly. “Just about anything can be construed as a weapon boys, if one knows how to use it.”
They shifted a little, uncomfortable with what sounded like it could be a threat. “I have car keys and a pen. Everything else is all me.”
“And the folder your slave is holding?”
“Information, for Mr. Gorlian.” The short one reached for it and Gabe reached his hand for it, bringing Caleb a step closer to him. “It is for his eyes only, of course, and encrypted.”
“Very well. Please step through the x-ray after me. Do not touch the machine, look straight forward, hands at your sides.”
A few minutes later Caleb was again on his knees beside a chair while Gabe settled in to wait.
“Can we bring you anything, Master James?”
“No. I’m fine.” He squeezed Caleb’s shoulder and repeated it to himself, hoping it would calm him down.
“Ellen!”
“Calm down Allen. All we can do is stick to the plan. Gabe has a good head on his shoulders. He knows what he’s doing.”
“We should probably take this argument out of the line of sight of those security cameras.” Bobby interjected. “Or get on with this.”
“If anything happens to my boy in there-“
“Nothing is going to happen, Allen.”
Her earpiece crackled and she turned away. “Gordon?”
“In position, Mama.”
“Observations?”
“Ten birds awaiting shipping. Five more just arrived.”
“Any sign of our company?”
“Not yet.”
“Okay, be advised, we’re moving to the next phase.”
“Roger that.”
“What next phase?” Allen asked as Ellen went around to the passenger side of the car and pulled on a black jacket.
“The one where I go in and find Gabe and Caleb, and stall and you and Bobby get read to make with the distractions so that we can get the hell out if the cavalry doesn’t show.”
“I want Sam.” Dean said, his eyes flashing anger at Pastor Jim who stood between him and the door.
“I know, Son, but he’s busy and he asked me to look after you.”
“Don’t need a babysitter.” Dean growled, crossing his arms. He didn’t understand. “Need Sam.” It had been over an hour. Everything was so jumbled in his head.
“You know, I might not be Sam, but I’m a pretty good listener. Maybe you would feel better if you talked a little.”
“Bout what?” Dean leaned back against the headboard, eyeing Jim.
“Anything. Everything. What you’re thinking, feeling. What you remember…or don’t remember.”
“How can I talk about something I don’t remember?”
Jim smiled. Dean remembered he liked how Pastor Jim smiled. Always had. “Sometimes it helps…just tell me something…anything that comes to mind.”
“When I was twelve, I lost a toad in your church.”
Jim chuckled, and crossed his arms. “Not really what I had in mind. But it’s good to know where it came from.”
Dean squirmed a little on the bed. “I know what you want me to talk about. I don’t know if I can.”
Jim nodded and came to sit on the end of the bed. “It’s okay Dean. I’m here to listen.”
Dean drew his legs up to his chest. “I don’t want them to hate me.”
“Who, your father and brother?”
Dean nodded and Jim echoed the gesture. “I don’t think they could, Dean. They both love you very much.”
“Not when they know.” Dean pressed his lips together and sighed heavily. “When they know how many there were…how I just…let them….”
Sam stopped the playback and got up, turning from the television with tears streaming down his face. At the end of the second disk, there was no sign of any clue, only endless footage of Dean being brutalized. He was still fighting back…but Sam could see the strength for it waning.
The long black spots were the worst…when Sam slowed the playback to make sure the voice wasn’t back, only to listen as Dean whispered endlessly, or screamed his name.
Sam grabbed at his crutches and hobbled into the kitchen. They were going to run out of time before they found it. If it wasn’t all just some sick joke. He wanted a drink, something stiff, but the best they had was beer. He opened one and slammed it down. It didn’t help.
He took a deep breath and moved back into the living room, changing disks. He sat a little closer to the television and hit play. Instead of the dank, dark cell, the screen was filled with sunshine and green grass, and him. Large as life, he strode across the screen, his arm around Jessica, laughing at some joke the camera didn’t pick up. He could hear the laughter though, could hear Jessica’s voice as she pushed him away and took of running, daring him to catch her.
All around them the campus was alive with students moving between classes or whatever other business moved them around the quad. He flinched as he watched himself trip over someone’s foot and tumble to the ground. His breath caught as he recognized the man on the blanket. “Razz.”
There was more, but he fast forwarded until it showed Jessica’s apartment. The picture seemed to just stop, showing the front of the building. He double checked to make sure that it wasn’t paused, realizing in growing horror that they could still be watching her, watching the campus…stealing students that everyone thought had just dropped out.
Sam fumbled for his phone, dialing Jessica’s number before realizing he hadn’t spoken to her in months. He got her voice mail and thought about hanging up.
“Hey, Jess. It’s me, Sam. I…I know it’s been a while, and I…just wanted to make sure that you’re okay. I mean…I know I was a jerk, taking off like that. I found my brother though…and I…was worried about you. So…call me, the number’s the same.”
Gabe knew they were likely being watched, and any communication he tried to have with the outside world would be monitored. Gorlian had left them sitting for close to an hour. He was getting nervous.
Enough. He thought. If they waited any longer-The door opened and a woman in a business suit appeared. “Master James, Mr. Gorlian is ready to see you now.”
“About damn time.” Gabe muttered as he stood. He moved slowly, knowing Caleb was probably hurting from the kneeling and offering him a chance to loosen up.
“This way.” She led him out of the room they’d left him waiting in, and into a lobby of sorts, then up to another elevator. As the elevator doors opened, she smiled and led them across a smaller lobby area, greeting a receptionist as she opened the doors to a spacious private office. The man standing behind the impressive desk was big, like John Winchester, broad shoulders, built for bull strength.
“Mr. Gorlian, may I present Master Maxwell James.”
“Thank you Theresa, that will be all.”
He smiled widely, holding out a hand as he came around the desk. “Welcome, young Master James. Your father told me many good things about you. I was hoping we would get a chance to meet.”
“Pity it took my father’s death in your stupid little games to bring us to this, eh?” Gabe said, shaking the offered hand.
Gorlian’s face clouded a little. “The loss of your father was most unfortunate, I’ll admit.” He moved back toward his desk. “Your father was a friend and a valued employee. His talents will be missed.”
Gabe raised an eyebrow. “The senior Master James was a sick pervert who got his kicks breaking the unbreakable and turning them into toys for the rich and equally perverted.”
He unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat without being asked, snapping his fingers at Caleb, who came to kneel beside him instantly.
“Is he one of your fathers?”
Gabe let one hand caress Caleb’s head briefly. “No, he’s mine. My father broke him, but I trained him.”
He watched Gorlian take his seat behind the desk and waited. The longer this took the better the chances were that the others would get in and get their jobs done.
“So, you aren’t here just to listen to me eulogize your father.”
“No. I’m not.” He held out his hand to Caleb for the folder, and sat forward. “I’m here to finish something my father started.”
“Can you tell me why you think they would hate you for something that was out of your control, Dean?”
“Shouldn’t have been. I’m better than that. Stronger. Should have fought more.”
“From what your father told me, you fought plenty, Dean. Sometimes the bad guy is just better than we are.”
“Good soldier fights. Good soldier wins. I wasn’t good enough.” Dean shifted uncomfortably. “Can I see Sam?”
“In a little bit Dean.”
He got up and went to the window. The sun shone down in the yard outside. “I forgot for a while,” he said softly.
“Forgot what?”
Dean shook his head as he leaned against the window frame. “What the sun felt like. What the wind sounds like. Sam’s voice…Dad’s face.” He licked his lips and closed his eyes, as if looking inside himself for something. “I remember thinking, ‘This can’t be real. This can’t be happening,’ but I couldn’t move, and I couldn’t scream…there were all these hands…and voices….” Dean was shaking. Jim got off the bed and came toward him slowly. “I said no….I tried to stop them…but I couldn’t move…and there were so many of them…I yelled…for Dad…I yelled and yelled and he didn’t hear me…he didn’t come.”
Jim reached out for him, but Dean slapped the hand away. “Why didn’t he hear me? Why?” Dean was yelling, his fists flailing at Jim. “They hurt me and told me he wouldn’t come…they shoved their fists and dicks inside me and made me come and laughed at me…Dirty! Whore! Slave!”
Jim stood stoically and let Dean rage at him, let him pound at his arms and chest until he ran out of steam, then just pulled him close and held onto him. When he calmed, Jim walked him back to the bed. “Maybe it would be good for you to rest now. I’ll go see if Sam is ready for a break. Maybe he can come sit with you.”
“I want Sam.” Dean whispered and Jim nodded.
“You stay here, I’ll get him.”
“We figured it was time you knew the truth, slave. About why you’re here.” Thomas tugged Dean’s head back and Razz held a tape player near Dean’s head. He pushed the button and Dean gasped as his father’s voice poured out of it.
“My son, Dean. Pretty face, might be hard to break. Once you do though, he’s obedient. Trained him that way myself.”
Sam gasped. He’d heard the words before, but not like this, not in his father’s own voice, his own inflection…not watching what the sound was doing to Dean.
”I told your daddy what would become of you, slave. He asked if he could watch.” Thomas said as Razz pushed Dean’s face toward the floor, positioning him with his ass up. “Maybe we’ll send him pictures.”
Thomas laughed as Razz drove into Dean, playing the tape again and again while Razz raped him. Dean broke, sobbing into the metal floor, oblivious to what they were doing to him.
“Sam?”
Sam jumped, pausing the playback quickly before looking up. “Pastor Jim….I didn’t hear you.”
“Are you okay?”
Sam wiped the tears off his face and sort of nodded, then shook his head. “I…don’t really know…actually.” He looked back at the television. “It’s…harder than I thought. I mean…I knew about this…but hearing it…seeing it…” He shivered and turned the television off. “It’s not the same.”
“Maybe you should take a break then. Dean’s been asking for you.”
Sam shook his head. “He’ll know. He’ll know I saw.”
Jim came to squat by the chair. “He won’t know. Right now he’s all torn up and he needs you.”
“But we have to…its only the third disk…and Ellen…”
Jim patted his hand. “Let me, Sam. You go sit with Dean. I’ll look at the next few disks, okay?”
“No…I can’t ask you to…do that. I should finish.”
“I came to help, Sam.”
“I agree with Jim, Sam.” Sam looked up to find his father at the bottom of the stairs. “I’m taking a break, making something to eat. You go sit with Dean. I’ll call Ellen, see where we’re at. A few minutes isn’t going to make a difference.”
Sam stood and took the crutches Jim handed him. “I don’t like it.”
“Duly noted.” John said, though his tear streaked face belied the tone of his voice, as did his arms sweeping Sam up in a bear hug when he got close enough. “I am so sorry, Sam.” John whispered, tugging him just a little closer. “I love you so much.”
Sam bit back the sob that threatened to escape him and John let him go to work his way up the stairs. He let himself into the bedroom and slid into bed behind Dean, wrapping his arms around him. “Sammy?”
“Yeah, Dean, it’s me.” Sam sniffled and rubbed at his swollen eyes a little more. “You okay?”
Dean shrugged. “Don’t know. Pastor Jim was here.”
“Did you talk?”
Dean rolled over to face Sam, concern in his eyes as he saw Sam’s face. “You okay, Sammy?”
Sam nodded, but in the back of his mind he could hear Dean’s voice in the dark screaming his name over and over again. “I’m feeling a little sad right now Dean, but I’m okay.”
Dean kissed both of his eyes. “Don’t be sad, Sammy. I’m here. I’ll take good care of you.”
Sam didn’t think he’d ever be able to explain to his brother why that just made him cry harder.