I woke up this morning to find an envelope on the pillow where I had expected to find my girlfriend's head resting. I picked it up and realized that it was addressed to me. I figured my girlfriend just left a list of chores and some groceries she wanted to pick up from the store. I was quite surprised by what I found instead, the envelope ( Read more... )

It’s nothing as ridiculous as getting pregnant then carrying the child for nine months in my male body (which obviously isn’t designed for this physiological process). It started as what I assumed was just a huge zit on my forehead. Over the course of the week, it kept growing until it was the size of a softball. Admittedly, this large growth on ( Read more... )

I just got back from a 9-month vacation of examination, dissection and all around fun ( Read more... )

It's been two days since my last journal entry and with good reason. I've been baking my brain that oven I call a bedroom. Here's the recipe for "human brain in a California summer ( Read more... )

With all the recent news of freeway closures due to high-speed police chases and whatnot, I decided it would be a better idea to avoid using the car and just swim to work today. Fortunately the building I work in is literally across the bay from where I live. Since I’m a little out of shape, I decided to swim along the San Mateo Bridge so I have ( Read more... )

The nightgaunts came last night and made another attempt to abduct me. The whole “clutch and fly and tickle” thing is starting to get on my nerves. I wish my roommate would stop painting over the elder signs that I draw on the doors and walls. I keep telling him that the symbols are the only way to prevent them from entering, but he never ( Read more... )

I'm a very private person, therefore this journal will not be updated with factual events from my person life. Instead this is meant to be a writing exercise for me since I enjoy telling stories (some people call it compulsive lying, but six of one, half dozen of the other ( Read more... )